http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old He is being bullied at school. Just not good at social interaction and is now very closed down. Won't tell me what is going down but I fear the whole class has decided if anyone is his friend they will be on the outs too. He is a Science and Math type kid. I really don't know what to do to help him. GreatSchools en-us MSMomm Hi feonad:From your past responses, and your belief that Autism is in your family history, your son could very well be on the autistic spectrum. Kids with autism and/or Asperger's ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=1#comment_465424 5100.465424 Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:49:19 -0700 feonad You can have a touch or more of anything. Since it is a spectrum disorder, I would say most computer scence people and many others have a touch or more ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=1#comment_465014 5100.465014 Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:55:07 -0700 healthy11 I've read about studies that say some kids with Aspergers MAY have speech delays: Non-Significance of Early Speech Delay in Children with Autism and Normal Intelligence and Implications for DSM-IV ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=1#comment_464716 5100.464716 Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:29:28 -0700 feonad If you have a speech delay when you are two then you can't have Aspergers. That is what the doctor said.Speech delay and Aspergers don't mix. http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=1#comment_463993 5100.463993 Sun, 05 Jul 2009 05:06:11 -0700 healthy11 feonad, has your son ever been evaluated for Asperger's? http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=1#comment_463569 5100.463569 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 11:19:38 -0700 feonad Central Auditory Processing Disorder - I do think he has that alittle bit. He is slowing growing out of alot of things. He was very speech delayed as a toddler. ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=2#comment_463509 5100.463509 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 10:09:02 -0700 andrummond Well part of the problems that I've noticed in various schools...at the beach, he's playing one day with these kids and they don't him. At school he's with the same ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=2#comment_463405 5100.463405 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 08:04:22 -0700 healthy11 Feonad, there is a condition called CAPD, Central Auditory Processing Disorder, where hearing in each ear individually can be fine, but the "signals" aren't processed together efficiently by one's brain. ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=2#comment_463378 5100.463378 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:44:49 -0700 feonad What makes me kind of mad is I always hear about it at the end of the school year. I don't hear anything then the last month of school the ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=2#comment_463347 5100.463347 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 06:35:37 -0700 andrummond First of all you need to talk to the school and let them know that you won't tolerate the bullying. Tell them that they are responsible for your child's safety ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=2#comment_462771 5100.462771 Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:19:47 -0700 jennifersuem Bullying of ANY KIND SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED AT SCHOOL. Contact the Principal/School Board/Teacher/Social Worker etc make sure they know what is going on! HAVE them talk to him and ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=3#comment_461312 5100.461312 Thu, 02 Jul 2009 00:32:33 -0700 K1Teacher I am the mother of that child seven years from where you are now. My son was captain of the academic team and two grades larger than his classmates. He ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=3#comment_452256 5100.452256 Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:49:15 -0700 juliejulie Hi,I also have a 9 yr old,I find that he creates his own network of friends through giving out my cell number :). My suggestion is to ask his teacher ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=3#comment_452240 5100.452240 Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:37:04 -0700 tonyab My heart goes out to you and your son. I don't know where you live but in my area there are some great Science and Math clubs as well as ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=3#comment_451473 5100.451473 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:58:24 -0700 Yoellie I understand you, it is not easy to start a new realtionship with a stranger and in this case the teacher or another parent, but you need to think what ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=3#comment_451409 5100.451409 Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:18:57 -0700 WinGate Are you a member of a parent support group? This can be a great help to you. It certainly helped me and in turn I have been able to help ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=4#comment_451313 5100.451313 Sun, 21 Jun 2009 19:14:55 -0700 feonad That is fabulous advice. Unfortunately I am not socially that good.But it is fabulous advice for someone that isn't shy! http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=4#comment_450707 5100.450707 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 09:55:41 -0700 Yoellie HI:I also have a 9 yrs. old who is very shy. I believe that Parenting Involvement could be a great alternative to help your child socially and stop bulling. I ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=4#comment_450655 5100.450655 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 07:31:05 -0700 WinGate "What is Gate?"Answered by a Prayer Ministry Pastor whom I agree with:"That is a very, very good question. I perceive the gate base on God's word and my own perspective ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=4#comment_449252 5100.449252 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 13:18:28 -0700 kskksk I was thinking about you and your son on my way to pick up my kid. I forgot to mention, a real turning point for our son was joining Boy ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=4#comment_449141 5100.449141 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 10:25:37 -0700 healthy11 Many parents recommend Rick Lavoie's book, "It is So Much Work to Be Your Friend" as a way to help children become more socially aware. http://www.amazon.com/Its-Much-Work-Your-Friend/dp/0743254651/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1245250089&sr=1-1Although it's geared to kids ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=5#comment_449027 5100.449027 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:52:33 -0700 WinGate Great Advice! http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=5#comment_449026 5100.449026 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:49:50 -0700 WinGate That is ONE of many meanings. http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=5#comment_449025 5100.449025 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:48:40 -0700 kskksk I posted before and have been watching the thread. At your son's age, in my observation, children can be extremely self absorbed and unaware of others. When you said your ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=5#comment_449021 5100.449021 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:46:23 -0700 healthy11 foenad, GATE = Gifted and Talented Education (that's the term that's used in California, anyway) but other states/school districts may offer similar programs for brighter students, under a different name. ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=5#comment_449001 5100.449001 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:25:04 -0700 WinGate That answer is one that will take you on a journey. Are you ready? http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=6#comment_448954 5100.448954 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 05:12:31 -0700 WinGate Has your child been tested? Many times our polluted environment, the foods we eat...cause symptoms of mental or emotional type problems. They are mere symptoms and when the root problem ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=6#comment_448951 5100.448951 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:58:22 -0700 feonad What is GATE? http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=6#comment_448935 5100.448935 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:05:04 -0700 feonad I was walking with him in the school and he doesn't notice when people say hello or goodbye to him. I know his hearing is fine. I had it checked ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=6#comment_448934 5100.448934 Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:03:46 -0700 WinGate Helping our children discover that their test will become their testimony is very challenging but rewarding. It is not who is right or wrong that counts as much as what ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=6#comment_448664 5100.448664 Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:25:11 -0700 WinGate My Joshua was bullied also. He even paid people to be his friends...Anyway, I got him involved with helping others and raising funds for Life Flight... He now realizes that ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=7#comment_448663 5100.448663 Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:20:12 -0700 nederfamily After reading the responses so not to duplicate; I would first like to say listen to Joe Bruzzese. Work in the class room. See what is going on. If he ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=7#comment_446334 5100.446334 Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:18:48 -0700 Hiyakev thanks for the dialogue. I was a professional singer for 28 years and know a LOT of kids like yours. Chances are that he will thrive in a "fringe" or ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=7#comment_445904 5100.445904 Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:21:46 -0700 feonad We did have him in piano. He has over two hours of homework a night so he didn't practice so he stopped taking lessons.He liked tennis and art. I watched ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=7#comment_445866 5100.445866 Fri, 12 Jun 2009 04:43:13 -0700 Hiyakev I already responded once and read on to find more of your info. Here is the scoop ... the odd ones in school reach the highest levels of society. The ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=7#comment_445444 5100.445444 Thu, 11 Jun 2009 11:34:49 -0700 Hiyakev get him in music somehow. The skills for both math/science and music are complimentary and will build a TON of self confidence. Go to the coach at school and ask ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=8#comment_445437 5100.445437 Thu, 11 Jun 2009 11:26:51 -0700 JoeBruzzese With the number of students in most classrooms today, bullying behavior often goes unseen and then when reported is nothing more than hearsay. Unfortunately, many bullying incidents don't draw attention ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=8#comment_444385 5100.444385 Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:49:42 -0700 healthy11 feonad, every school is different when it comes to "incident reporting." I wouldn't normally expect a principal to call for every situation. Many schools only document when there has been ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=8#comment_444374 5100.444374 Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:22:49 -0700 feonad He seems very happy this week. All I got out of him was Charlie kicked his lunch box. He admitted to kicking Alex's lunch box after Charlie kicked his lunch ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=8#comment_444370 5100.444370 Wed, 10 Jun 2009 05:00:39 -0700 kskksk I suggest you get him in an activity he enjoys. Maybe he has few shared interests with the kids at school. Once he makes friends on the outside his attitude ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=8#comment_444042 5100.444042 Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:59:09 -0700 JoeBruzzese How has your son been bullied? Do children single him out with verbal taunts or has the bullying become physical? I loved a few of the ideas shared below, including ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=9#comment_443990 5100.443990 Tue, 09 Jun 2009 13:51:32 -0700 feonad My son says he has never made a friend at school.They way I think they are actting, I have no wish for him to be friends with any of them.Sometimes ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=9#comment_443364 5100.443364 Tue, 09 Jun 2009 04:56:04 -0700 TeacherParent What does his teacher say about this? A teacher's responsibility is to keep an eye out for the child who has been socially isolated - she let it get too ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=9#comment_443188 5100.443188 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 18:15:35 -0700 hockeymum Sorry to hear he is going through this. Check out "Raisining A Thinking Child" by Dr. Myrna Shure (was on Oprah) "...The program will also help shy children to become ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=9#comment_442961 5100.442961 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 13:07:13 -0700 healthy11 I'm sorry to hear of your son's situation. My son was also a target of bullying and didn't have many friends when he was in elementary school. Have you spoken ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=9#comment_442903 5100.442903 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 11:56:46 -0700 feonad more information. His best friend last year said to me in front of him. He is so werid that no one wants to be his friend. He is doing good ... http://community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/442889/What-do-you-advise-to-help-a-socially-closed-down-9-year-old?cpage=10#comment_442902 5100.442902 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 11:56:24 -0700