Sorry -- posted it twice.

My opinion since I have to admit I had a few problems myself. I think maybe spend time with him. Go places. Take vacations or small trips. Like site seeing. Just get away and do anything until he understands that you are right there to teach him about the world around him. My heart goes out to your family. I feel the pain and heartache. Find out interesting things to talk about. People are starving and dieing in other countries. People don't have our freedom to explore and learn. He feels lonely misunderstood. Tell him we all feel that way but that we shouldn't give up and live at least to make someone else alot more in pain feel a bit better. Hope all goes well!

Look into the problem. See what is causing his pain! Then a good choice may be home school. It has worked well for my 16 yr old that "hated" school from the 3rd grade up. In the public school he carried a gpa below 2.0. Now his gpa is a 4.0. He enjoys being out of the public school system. Hopefully this helps you. Good Luck!

tell him a story about school drop out want help mom just keep doing what you are doing and the problem will work out what you are going through i took my mother through the same things i am find

I just looked at the greatschools rating for Windham High and it is pathetic! Winham Tech has better test scores. It looks like there are at least 3 other public high schools within 5 or 6 miles that have much better test scores. Maybe he could transfer to one of those? Or perhaps a private school would be a better fit.

Do NOT let him quit school! It is a difficult time, starting high school. It sounds as if he's gotten in with the wrong crowd. Maybe you can suggest that he get involved in something at the school, a sport, club, drama, something. Does the school have Advanced Placement or International Baccalaureate classes? Art classes? Maybe he isn't in challenging enough classes. (But don't teens always think they are smarter than everyone else?)

Just try to be there for him and don't give up. He is probably feeling like he isn't as popular as his twin and I imagine that can be hard. If the problem is the school, maybe you can look into finding one that he might like better. Both of my sisters went to a private Friends high school while I went to public school so sometimes it's just that different kids need different things.

Best of luck! I truly hope things improve.

He was hospitalized for cutting, more then once, and the last time was severe, but not life threatening... depression, eating disorder was not mentioned in his discharge summary, but he is pitifully thin, antisocial behavior, feels he is not learning anything at school, because..."I'm smarter then the teachers are!" is the comment he makes, One of the doctors wanted to prescribe something for sleep, as he claims he never sleeps, but he refused, when asked why he didn't want to take the medication which would help him sleep, rather then walk around like a zombie? his reply was...... Walking around like a zombie , defines who I am!"
The State Police told me to keep a record of misbehavior, and date all, He had a good talk with my son, but nothing registers, a short term hospitalization is a waste of time for all concerned, He definitely needs long term care, which we are trying to get for him, it seems to be our only option at this time , now he just acts like he is independent of all around him, and does as he pleases. Dcf is in the picture, but seems like he will be well over 16 before his case would come before a judge?
His attraction with hanging around a 16/17 year old, is the freedom this boy seems to have. And is convincing Zak that he doesn't't have to go to school.. and God only knows what else, He loves to draw, he's quite an artist, with pencil, and pen & paper, but his drawings are very violent, and bizarre, they are scary, but quite artistically done, I tried to urge happier scenes, but that is not his "thing"? He used to be into video games, and all he wanted was the wrong kind, he is very , very intelligent , but all this is driven in the wrong direction, Did find a knife in his room which is pretty much empty except for a bed mattress, and a TV, (we are in the middle of moving to an apartment) so all is in disarray for now, but until our home was sold, he had everything he wanted and needed and then some in his own room, but little by little all this stuff seemed to have gone up into smoke, including all his books which he really cared for. I could go on and on, but all this and then some has been passed to his school counselor, and therapist, etc, and we are always back to square 1! Thank you all for your concern, and your advice, most has been tried, without much luck, it's as if, he has made up his mind that he is invisible to all adults around him or vice versa. We haven't given up yet . I am on family leave now from my work, Ironically, I work at a mental health facility!! a lot of good that has done me, Rig ht? I will keep you all up to date hopefully when something more positive comes into his life. Right now, it just seems so repetitious, like going around in a huge circle! again thanks to you all.

Here is a site that discussed GED requirements in CT: education-portal.com/connecticut_ged.html
A student must be at least age 17.
I concur with earlier posters who mentioned trying to get your son into an alternative high school program, if that hasn't been tried yet. (You said your son was a good kid until the end of 8th grade, and now it's the start of 9th, so it sounds like it's been less than a year since you've been searching for help.)

Truthfully, when you said your son was hospitalized and given medication, it makes me wonder what he was evaluated for, and what he was diagnosed with? There are several conditions that have an onset around puberty/in the teen years. Many times kids who have untreated mental health disorders use pot and alcohol and other substances as a method of "self-medication" and I can't help but feel like that's what your son is doing, too. Even though he doesn't want to see a psychologist, he really seems like he needs to be under the care of a professional, and since he's still under legal age, you are still responsible for him. I wonder if your local police can give you any advice about mentoring programs or other resources to try and help him. It concerns me that he has such a hatred for his twin, and I'd hate for him to lash out against her or anyone else and cause physical harm.

He needs to know why school! Tell him a story about school drop out and people without a proper education.

Best wishes!

Have you been able to really diagnose the reasons why he refuses to stay in school?Is there any specific circumstance that makes school unbearable for him?For example,is he being bullied or rejected by peers,is he feeling isolated at any level?Humans in general experience a very escencial need to belong and for our teens that need is rooted in an even bigger one:the search of identity.They try to define themselves and who they are through a network of relationships and associations.Usually the number one reason why a teen refuses to stay in school is failing to find a niche or place of insertion thus making them feel like complete outcasts or misfits,so in their minds they might as well physically remove themselves from an environment that causes them to feel lonely,underestimated and ultimately depressed.The fact that he is looking for foster homes only enphasizes my impression that he is just searching for a "feel good place" which by extention means "feel good about himself place".Just a thought.

I have reread your entry and apologize for my earlier response. I don't think I adequately addressed your issues. :(
School systems are more reactive than proactive when it comes to our children...in the case of your son, it would seem a very proactive response is necessary.
This may seem extreme, but he really sounds as though he could benefit from total removal from his environment and a reacquaintance with himself. He seems to have too many opportunities to run from his problems rather than facing them. Is there some program available through the school district, city, county or non-profit agencies in your area where he could attend a boot camp of sorts? Somewhere where he is forced to comply with rules, given responsibilities (and reap the personal benefits), and given the tools to see himself in a postive light and recognize some of the issues that are really at the root of his current behavior.

What are his interests? What is it about hanging out with this 16 yr old that is so attractive? If you can answer those questions, you may have a better understanding of how to approach him. If he has an interest in doing/working in a certain field, he may feel that school is holding him back (often we don't correlate what we are learning with the long-term). Whatever the motivation to do either, use it to motivate him to do something, anything, positive in his life right now. Keeping in mind his interests and motivation, maybe you and his counselor can sit down with him and formulate a plan that will meet all of your needs.

Answereing all the above, In our state of Ct. quitting school at 15 is not allowed, but he doesn't care, and no amount of pushing will make him go.. when he does enter the school building, he causes problems in his class, and ends up at the school couselor assigned to him by the school, and seems like he is wasting a lot of her time, She helped putting him in a behavioral wing at Manchester hospital, where he was evaluated and given meds, , released in 5 days, and back to his usual routine, skipping school, smoking pot, sneaking out of the house at all hours of the night, hating his whole family, especially his sister who is his twin, and all adults in general, He admires his older brother who is 20 yrs old, and won't listen to his advise either, he lies about things that are so unreal, they aren't even slightly believable? Has no intention of working, or even mentions work. he just seems to think he can do exactly what he wants without any consequences. or cares what this is doing to his family. He refuses to see a psychologist, claims they aren't smart enough to help him, only his friends can do that. I am to the point of helplessness right now, my husband is also fed up with this constant family disruption and have reached the end of our rope. What more can I say? He was such a wonderful little boy, until towards the end of his 8th. grade when he started to change.. One thing , he is very jealous of his sister who is so vibrant and happy go lucky, with a personallity everyone loves. Where he is the complete opposite of her. OMG!

There's nothing wrong with getting a GED - lots of people do. Get him a GED prep book out of the local library so he can see what the test is like - it's not an easy test.
Is the 16 year old also out of school? What does he do all day?
My own son wanted to drop out of school - does your state allow that? In my state, you can drop out at 16, not before. I told my son I'd allow it if he had a plan - neither he nor I could afford to have him hanging out all day doing nothing. People either work or go to school, go to school or work or sometimes even do both. What work was he planning on doing if he dropped out of school?
I wasn't in a position to be able to afford to support him and it's not healthy to lie home all day watching television. I didn't like school much myself at that age and if my son didn't like it either, then fine but he had to find a job.
And not part-time - but I'd say this. Get your part-time job and look for full-time work - when you have that, drop out of school because then you'll be able to pay for a GED class.

I'm not trying to pry but is there something going on at home that makes him feel like he doesn't want to be there? I actually acted in a similar way when I was 16 because of some major changes and trauma that were happening at home. Is there a trusted family member who your son will listen to that would be willing to talk to him?

he wants to quit school... get his GED. Work part time and hang out with a friend who is 16 and a big influence on this decision...

Parents can't turn to school for help with this usually - that's sadly true. Is there an alternative school in your district? Some districts have smaller, alternative schools and some few districts will even pay for private school if there is one in your area that's known to work well with truant students.
What does he want to do instead of school? Sometimes there are trade schools and vo-tech schools that offer more hands on learning.
I sincerely hope this gets better for him and for you and hope you'll post back to let us know what transpires.