sgrady, I'm glad to hear that the new medication is helping your son. As you already know, not all children with ADHD have ODD, but for those who do, it makes parenting even more difficult. For people who don't know about the differences, here's a simple explanation of ADHD versus ODD: www.healthcentral.com/adhd/related-conditions-196328-5.html

my son doctor has started to give him a new medication to stablize his mood so far its working. i know the feeling i read stuff online about the odd and still stay confused. it would acturally would proberly help if someone would acturally come and show us how to help our child with odd some people say children with odd is just like children with adhd but they are not both my kids are adhd but my son is the only one who is adhd with odd. adhd and odd kids are not the same there is more anger issues and more voilent behavior my son almost cost me my boyfriend and thats what hard on me i always asked my son do you want mommy alone he tells me you have me and i tell him yes forever but i explain someone to help mommie to take care of you and he seems to understand he doesnt want me to be sad so lately he enjoys being with my boyfriend . he spoils him only if he is good i hope its get better

I hope the new things you are trying work for you . I know how hard it can be . I pray ever night that a magic cure will fall out of the sky and fix what is wrong with my son . The stress it can cause in a relationship can be devastating . Most of the time I am just waiting to see how long it is going to take before the fights break out . My son will push and push till the house is in total chaos . I spend most of my nights up wondering what happened to my son who at one time was a incredibly well behaved kid . I have read every article on line about ODD and still am lost in what to do to help him. I would love to bring him back home but fear how he will behave when I do . I also have a 3 year old daughter and she is not all the way over the terrible twos yet . Trust me I know all to well about the stress .
Keep your head up and remember you are not alone .

thank you crissliegh i appreciate the advise im so stressed out and frustrated with his school im about to scream i hope your situation works out for you . i know how it feels my boyfriends helps me as well but it seems my son even disrespects him as well. we are know working on getting another councler and having transporting him to another school who can handle him in school. i went to a another school and found a asst principle who used to be my son teacher at edgewood who know how adhd and odd children are and she knows how to handle them so she is helping on making the transfer to work. im hoping it will. i will keep you in my prayers as well good luck and thanks alot for your help

Dear sgrady,

I really feel for you my son also has ODD and it can be very hard to deal with . We have not put him on meds (we have been using fish oil and vitamins that seems to help some) but he is in counseling . The best thing I have found is to stop the yelling . When you yell or attempt any sort of power struggle with them you are bound to loose . A child with ODD is way more capable of holding out longer on a power struggle than other kids. They do not seem to miss objects you take away like tv or video games.
For right now my son has went to stay with my mom for a while due to the fact he lies so bad my boyfriend and I are afraid he could cause him and his sister to be removed from our home if he lies to the wrong person . I have also found that just looking at him and using a firm tone of voice (not yelling) and saying what did I ask /tell you to do ? let him answer and then say go do it . But that is the only thing I say .I will not answer a question or talk about anything till he has done what he is told . If you do not argue with him , explain why you told him to do something ,or beg and plead you have taken the ball out of his court . I no longer let my son see that I am getting upset because once he sees he has me mad he knows he is in control.
Also try to change his diet to less sugar but do not use artificial sweeteners ,no caffeine ,no artificial red or yellow dies , and lots of fruit and vegetables.
I also suggest getting a new counselor to help him ,last time we had a woman and this time we have a man . But no matter if you use a man or woman you need one that is very firm and direct . I wish you the best and I will pray things get better for you .

i am know checking in on another school. in my area who has a better ecu programes i just feel like carver does not know how to deal with children who has ADHD/ODD thanks for the support and the help

sgrady, we wish you well. Please do keep us posted on your son; often other people will read a discussion several weeks or months from now, and they may have a child in a similar situation, and good or bad, it's helpful to know what has happened.

well i appreciate the advise but know the school my son goes to for two weeks starting today he goes to school till 1pm school lets out at 3pm and they have me doing school work at home. on top of homework so basically im doing home schooling for the class he is missing i am not a certified homeschool teacher so i will report to the board of education this may be my last time on here thanks for the one who tried to help and good luck.;

my son sees a pshchologist and a counsleor just like im doing with family support im a single parent and the kids father is in a different state and has nothing to do with the kids my daughter is aurtistic and moderate mental handicap but i have no issue with her just my son i have seen 4 different peoples and done alot of research on schools they also know how to deal with his adhd/odd but it seems they dont know how he had a comunity support person helping but since he doesnt follow in obama catagory that needs help i havent been able to find any kind of support for him he does group councling as well. he has a pshic evaluation and mri done. my son is on alot of medication to help control his ADHD/ODD but its not helping NORTH CAROLINA is where we live

When you say that your son sees a physc, do you mean physician, psychologist, or psychiatrist? Have you mentioned your son's ongoing school difficulties to the doctor?
How often does the doctor who is prescribing the meds see your son for follow ups? If a child psychiatrist is not the person doing medication management, I strongly urge you to try and find one. It seems to me like your son may be dealing with more than just ADHD/ODD, especially since you mention that his brother has other issues. It would be wise to get a second opinion. Similarly, if the counselor that your son sees isn't helping, I would try to find a different person, and I also think family counseling, not just for your son, might be a good thing to do.
I don't know what state you live in, but as far as getting help for your autistic/MR son, have you looked into support groups like www.thearc.org
www.chadd.org and www.help4adhd.org may have additional suggestions for your younger child.

my son is taking medication for his ADHD and ODD he takes over 262mg of meds a day he sees a phsyc and councilling but everything doesnt seemed to work we have taken stuff away and he just doesnt care when he does good we give rewards after a few days he starts all over im a single mom taking care of two children both has adhd my oldest also is artistic and mental handicap so im not able to work and i m going to college i cant really go to work cause of the issue with my son who is ODD and ADHD. i have ran out of ideas what else to do he is only 9yr and in 4th grade

My son has ADHD, so I know about the condition, but hitting is not typical ADHD behavior. I have to ask how you're treating your son's issues? Does he take medication? Is he under the care of a specialist, like a child psychiatrist? It sounds to me like he really needs to be. In fact, I think it would be helpful for your family to consider counseling, because where you say you're tired of going to school, and don't want to interfere with your son's education, it already IS interfering. A child who is unable to focus on what an instructor is teaching, can't be learning much academics. He is probably also not making a very positive impression on classmates, and may not have many friends. I agree with the previous poster that you need to gather all your resources to try and address the problems now, before your son gets physically stronger and into more trouble. Please consider getting professional assistance before it's too late.
I also invite you to join Greatschools Learning and Attention Difficulties Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11554, where more parents can relate to what you're dealing with.

Seem that there are no consistant consequences where he behaves badly. You need to take something away that will effect him; like the TV from his room for a week, no video game. Which mean you remove it from the house, and lock it up in the garage. When a child continues to misbehave even after he has been punished by his parents, what he is telling you is he is not threaten by your empty threates. You need to fix this now before he hit middle school or the next thing you know the cops will be calling you to pick up your son, instead of his teachers.