How to deal with a new Principal whos people skill are less than great ?

My son school has had 3 Principals in the last 3 years . All with their own agendas and trying to prove themselves to the boars of ed . Yet not one of them has seemed to take in to consideration the way parents are made to feel unwelcome at the school or the parents concerns . To me this is wrong in every way . Not to mention as PTO President it makes my job a lot harder . How can you get parents to help out with if they feel so unwelcome. At our meeting tonight the Principal sprung on us that the 5th grade who has always went to D>C> will not be going on that trip this year . We will be taking our trip with another school that she is also the Principal at . Do you think it is ok for her to decide that with out talking to the parents first and getting their opinion ?

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Good for you for taking on the hard job that is PTO President! Ideally a principal should discuss with parents or certainly with you what decisions there are to be made but a principal who does little about helping parents to even feel welcome at the school is likely to do even less when it comes to including parents in decision-making for the school.
Likely the principal's decision to change the field trip was based on money - nobody has any right now - but courtesy and good people skills would have had the principal explaining the decision even if he/she didn't include you in on it.
I'd let that go by and focus in on the larger and more sustaining goal of helping parents to feel welcome in the school. Model for the principal the stance you expect from the principal - be warm and welcoming to parents. Host events at the school that invite parents into the school. Ask the principal to stand with you in a reception line at the front door so together you're greeting and welcoming parents. Looked shocked if the principal refuses to do this and explain why it is indeed important that you both foster parent involvement in this way.
Try to get projects underway that are visibly helpful to the school to convince this principal that parents are indeed helpful not harmful- principals particularly Love fund raising projects. Smooth the path with some fund raising and then ask the principal to co-host a 'thank you event' for those parents who helped raise funds.

Good luck with this -schools need more parents like you who are willing to take on such hard tasks.

It sounds like you're having enough trouble getting together with the principal on your own, but I can also share that what really worked well at my son's school was having the principal attend some of our monthly Parent's Club meetings... I wasn't the PTO President, but I was on the board, and we made a big announcement that the Principal would be attending, and they could do a "meet and greet," and find out more about plans for the upcoming school year. It was a good way to try and encourage more parents to come to the meetings, and get involved, and stay involved. At such a small school, I'm not sure how many parents come to your PTO events, but it's one way to try and facilitate the new principal finding out more about the parents in her community, and vice-versa.

healthy11,
Thank you so much for your advice and understanding. I know that on some small level the kids will be some what upset that they do not get to go to DC as they did in the past and I know parents will be upset . I have thought this over for a few days and have decided that it will most likely be in the best interest of everyone to try my best to put a positive spin on it .
I am going to talk to the Principal and get more details as to the location and see what I can get worked out about hotels and parents still being able to pay a small fee for the bus ride. I plan on talking to any of the kids who feel let down and telling them that DC was a one day trip and this trip will be a two day trip and make it a plus also that they will get to share the trip .I know in my heart the kids deserve a trip and regardless of how I feel about her actions I need to be positive about it .
MagnetMom,
As of right now I do not meet with her on a weekly basis . The few meetings we have had she didn't't seem to have a real interest in meeting . You are right we do need to work well together . I have told her that I am willing to work with her on any issue and help her in any way . I will continue to keep a positive attitude and hope she becomes easier to work with as the year goes on .

As PTO President, do you meet with your principal, at least once a week? Our president has a standing meeting on Fridays to go over any issues that arise as well as build a relationship because clearly principal and PTO president need to work like the right and left hand--together.

If you don't already meet regularly, I'd suggest you offer to meet on neutral ground--perhaps a coffee house to go over the school year. Let her know that you want to work together to make both your jobs easier.

Good luck!

I feel for your predicament. At my son's small private school, kids started doing overnight trips in 3rd grade (first, just at a local campground with cabins, and it tied into their "science/nature" studies) and eventually culminating in the 8th grade trip to DC. with their government studies. Parents never had a say in where the trips were going, but they also didn't chaperone...teachers did. That eliminated the problems with parents trying to get babysitting for other kids, etc.

As hard as it is, since you say the principal is new, I think it would've been even more difficult for her to wait and get to know the parents and students, then make an announcement later in the year, about changes in the school trip. It's not an easy situation for anyone, but realistically, if your school only has 75 students, there probably aren't more than fifteen 5th graders, and I know a lot of places give discounts when you bring in groups of 20 or more students, so it makes sense to combine with another school, especially since there is a "tie in" under the same administrator. I hope the economic situation improves for everyone, and your school can survive, but no matter what happens, wherever your kids attend is fortunate to have such a concerned parent as yourself be involved in the educational process.

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How to deal with a new Principal whos people skill are less than great ?

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