I have a feeling that my son and his friends are shop lifting at the store.... but no proof.

I did told him and he knows I can afford to help him buy the stuff...
And I also told him that I do not wanted him to get anything from his friend stuff and period...
Please help how to handle and deal this situation... please help.

Parent Answers to "I have a feeling that my son and his friends are shop lifting at the store.... but no proof. "

View 3 answers: Newest-Oldest, Oldest-Newest
Display fewer answers

I think parenting is the most challenging job in the world. I also think you did the right thing by trying to talk to your son's friend, who you consider to be like a son. Even though the boy may not have liked what you said, it helps him to know that other people are aware, and watching out. If nothing else, I hope it makes him "think twice" before he does something stupid again.

This summer, we had a situation with our teen. He is in college, and really wanted to get an apartment with two other boys. We did not know the other kids, and so we did a "google search" on their names. One of the boys shows up as having been arrested for underage drinking and damaging property while he was drunk. We asked our son if he knew this, and he says he didn't. Then we said, well, if you are going to be living with someone, you NEED to know. If all of their names are on the lease, and something illegal is taking place in their apartment, they are ALL responsible.

Our son later invited the boy over to our house, and said, "this is one of my potential roommates." We said, "Nice to meet you. We saw online that you have been arrested for underage drinking. We know teens "push limits," but living in an apartment is a big responsibility, and you have more independence with less supervision. Do you understand that?" The boy looked dumbfounded, and said, "how did you know about my arrest?" (We told him police reports are online.) He claims that he made a bad decision and got caught, but he says he does NOT routinely get drunk or vandalize property. While I wish they would not even drink at all (they are not age 21) I know that young adults often do things that mature adults would not recommend. It is our job to remind them of the rules and hope that they learn sooner, not later.

he's turning 15 on Oct. He got upset and said he did not do it. For what happend I think I truely believed that he did not do for this time but still for me if you are together and one of you steal and you knew about it... you are part of it. But sadly he can't understand what I meant and he thought I said he stealing.
And after work I went to talk to neighbor Dad that live next door. I explained how i feel that I have this feeling that if we do not do something right now it will get worst that we can not control them doing something worst. Then the dad start talking how his son got caugth last week sunday stealing a chocolate bar from this electronic department store. It wad sad for me too cause i really think that his almost a part of the family and I treat him like a second son.
(Every day I pickup my son and his friend back home from school around 4....) So the next day when I pick them up I can see my son not happy that i went to talk to his "Friend"'s dad. So at moment I decided to talk to all of them. I said to them nicely..what do you think of this MOM... I treat each one of you as a friend" they just all quite. and I countinue...First of all I do not know I need to wait and responsible for taking any of you home. Secondly was really sad to findout thing from your Dad.... Lastly remember I am hear to help and always open to talk and help you. If you need packet money just come wash my car every week.
My son's friend just very quite execpt my son he said to go and stop wasting his time. they do not need this. I was really sad.
I know this time my son must be hating me.... because he thinks i embarass him infront of his friend.
At that time only thing I was think I rather be the bad person to stop the fun.
Any advise for want I did.....

How old is your son? What was his reaction when you confronted him? While it becomes more difficult for parents to keep track of children as they get older, it is still our responsibility to supervise them, and if you feel your son is hanging around with "bad influences" then you need to try to limit the time he spends with those "friends." Does he have a lot of "free time" on his hands? If you a single parent, is there anyone (preferably male) who could serve as a good mentor/role model to your son? He sounds like he needs to get involved in some organized, CONSTRUCTIVE activities. Perhaps you could ask his school counselor, or your church pastor, about any sorts of "family support groups" that might have supervised activities for kids his age.

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.

Los Angeles
Local Q&A Change City

How to find a good middle school for a boy with NVLD

What school districts have the best reputation in or around Los Angeles?

Does open enrollment apply for special education in LAUSD?

Ask a question about Los Angeles >

Local Q&A is brand new! What do you think? Give us your feedback in our feedback forum.

I have a feeling that my son and his friends are shop lifting at the store.... but no proof.

Parent Answers to "I have a feeling that my son and his friends are shop lifting at the store.... but no proof. "

Change City

Los AngelesLocal Q&A Change City

Los Angeles
Local Q&A Change City