thank you for this info

Oh yeah! Definitely! Especially, when you felt or learned that your child (I underline the words "your child") has behavioral, social and/or academic problems at school/in the classroom regardless whether his/her teachers/principal etc. let you know about the issue or not. Many times they prefer avoiding parents' involvement and don't let you know. However, if you rely on it and don't closely follow your child's activities at school and think that your child is doing "great," then you might victimize your own child and then it would be late. As an elementary teacher, a special education professional, and a parent trainer on sp.ed. rights and responsibilities, I can't emphasize enough how important to make the teachers understand that you're always there for your child and never tolerate(underline the words "never tolerate") any wrongdoing against your child and mistreatment of him/her.

Thank you for the info. I did not realize there was a gifted parents group. I know his science teacher at the gifted program stated that my son "kept her on her toes" with his questions. So maybe the teacher does not understand/like his questions that may not be on her lesson plan. I will definetly check into the parent group.

Most gifted kids can grasp concepts beyond their age level. You might explain to your son that adults sometimes have bosses that they don't understand, or always get along with. This science teacher is like that kind of boss. You shouldn't quit your job (or in his case, school) and you shouldn't stop trying to do good work, even if the current boss doesn't appreciate it as much as a different supervisor might like it. (In your son's case, you can reassure him that he won't have the same teacher forever, and that's actually a better situation than adults in a job, who don't know how long they may be stuck with the bad boss....)
For general information and support, I'd also encourage you to join Greatschools Gifted Parents Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11537

He has 4 teachers in the gifted program and has not had any issues with any of them. The teacher in question is at the regular school and teaches science. I should add that he was chosen and has attended Wake Forrest University for the past 2 summers in the gifted science program where he had emphasis on physics and science. He is also in the Duke University Talent Identification Program. This is why I am so perplexed.

Based on what you've said, I have a feeling that observing the class once won't accomplish anything, since it sounds like there have been specific instances which "bring out the worst" in the teacher, but it might not be visible every day.
Before you go to your meeting, you need to write down factual details of what has transpired thusfar, as best you know it. List dates/places/what happened/who was involved, etc. I understand where you would ordinarily not want your son to be removed from a gifted/talented program, but if this is the only teacher for that program, and she is demeaning and rude, then I would really question if the "potential benefits" outweigh the negatives in this class. Your son could still rejoin a G/T program in middle school, without having to deal with all of the anxiety from this current elementary school teacher.

Yes, meet with the teacher and hear her side or the story. Make sure you write down your questions and comments.. Ask the follow up question to get to the bottom of the problem and hopefully the teacher helps you and your son.

My son is in the gifted and talented program which he attends 1 day per week. He has made 100's on all classa tests in this class. In fact my son did not tell me of the incident, I had to parents who children are in the class contact me to see if my son was ok after the incident. I believe the harrasment comes from a comment made by another teacher whose son is in the same class. She told the teacher before school started to keep my son and her son seperated because they go to church together and she didn't want her son to get in trouble for acting up with my son. My son has never had a behavioral issue and never been sent to the office or notes sent to me about behavior. This year there has been an issue every week from the 1st week of school. I did have a phone conference with the teacher asking what I could do to improve the situation because it was something new that we are dealing with. The straw that broke the camels back is .. My son had a project to turn in. He spent 3 hours on the project and turned it in 4 days early. He had colored the title of the science booklet (he loves art) and the header for each subject to correspond with the color of the ecosystem (green, blue, etc). When he gave it to her she said that he was not suppose to write the words in color (though we had no guidelines about the word titles) only color a picture of the ecosystem (grasslands, ocean, etc) on each topic. She took the project and through it in the trash in front of the whole class. He went back to his seat and was crying. When a classmate told her he was crying she said, "that's what he gets for not doing it right". She never spoke to him about it. He went to the next class still upset and that teacher sent him to the couselor. He is in the 5th grade. Again, no one from the school nor my son told me any of this, only other students parents. I have requested a conference with the teacher (tom am) and the counselor. I want to know my rights before I go into this meeting.

ajnett, what grade is your son in? I'm wondering if he's given you any indication of why he doesn't like this teacher, OR if perhaps the problem is that the work is more challenging, and he's finding certain subjects to be more difficult. Has he mentioned that there's some harassment going on with other kids in that class, and perhaps that's why he's getting upset?
I don't know if a single class observation will be enough to show you what's going on, but yes, you should be able to make advance arrangements to view the class. Another option might be to see if the school has a social worker, and discuss your son's situation with that person. The social worker can make multiple class visits and record observations about the interaction between your son, his teacher, and the other students, and get back to you. We did that when my son was having difficulty with one teacher. The added benefit of having the social worker do the observing was that neither the teacher nor students knew who was being watched, so they all acted "typically" instead of being on their "best behavior" for a specific parent.

Certainly. You do indeed have that right though in these modern times, they can ask you to of course call ahead and make an appointment to do so. Either call or e-mail the teacher or call the school secretary and ask what is the best way to go about establishing a time to go in and and observe your son in the classroom.
Good luck.