How should my sons' teacher approach me if there's a problem (he's in 2nd grade)?

My son's teacher approached me after school to let me know he's having a problem in class talking and talking and talking (which is weird, I think the first complaint ever of him talking too much). She was saying she's tried moving desks and it didn't seem to help, he'll talk to anybody (again, weird) and I need to have a talk with him. Her voice was normal, she like called him out right in front of friends and any one else who had been walking by. What makes this a little bit worse is that I had just written her a little letter letting her know that he is having a lot of anxiety, being that this is a new school, and anything I could do to boost his confidence would be great (ie extra homework to help him get a grasp of what's going on in class).

Parent Answers to "How should my sons' teacher approach me if there's a problem (he's in 2nd grade)?"

View 2 answers: Newest-Oldest, Oldest-Newest
Display fewer answers

Sometimes teachers speak with parents on the fly - if they see you, they take the opportunity to speak with you. There's no nice way to hear news that's less than nice but it's always good to hear such news before the teacher turns mean about it.
Since it's very out of keeping for your son to be talking excessively and since he's not yet happy in his new school, I'd suggest going in and observing. If you sit in the back, the class forgets you're there and the normal life of the classroom resumes and you can see if your son is being distracted by his neighbors or exactly how glum he seems in his new school.
Good luck with this - adjusting to a new school is never easy.

What grade is your son in? When you say that it was after school let out, but she called your son out right in front of friends, did the other kids just keep walking, or did they stop and listen in? Hopefully, they kept going.

Did your son's teacher stop you in the hallway by her room, or outside the building? (I'm surprised parents would be allowed into classrooms, if that's where she approached you.) It IS difficult for a teacher to find a time to talk to parents when other children aren't around. It probably would not have come across any better if she saw you, but said, "Mrs. Smith, we need to have a conference sometime. When are you available?" Chances are, you would have said, "What's wrong? I'm here now, so we can talk." Otherwise, you'd have been wondering all night (possibly days) until your conference, about the subject matter.

I have a feeling that there is no "good" way for the topic of your son's disruptive chatting to have been addressed. What I'm wondering, since you do say that you want to help your son get a better grasp what's going on in class, is whether his talking excessively is some kind of "task avoidance" behavior? (My son is actually gifted, but also has a learning disability, and we figured out that he would do almost anything to get out of writing assignments...talking was one of his "diversions.") I am NOT saying your son has a learning disability, but when you mention that he's in a new school, and the work sounds like it's more advanced than he's used to, it could be that his talking is also an effort to avoid doing the assignments.

While what happened today was unsettling, you might try giving the teacher a call tomorrow, and let her know that you've taken what she said very seriously, and have spoken to your son about it. You could say that in the future, you would be more comfortable if she could call or schedule meetings with you when other students aren't able to overhear. Obviously you hope that there won't be more problems, but you want to work collaboratively with her to help your son get adjusted to this new school, and be the best he can be. Then thank her for her time, and try to focus on the future.

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.

Los Angeles
Local Q&A Change City

I want to start my child in a pre-K at a school that will take her when she is 4, what schools have this?

How does public school enrollment work in Los Angeles? What do parents need to know?

How did you choose a preschool in Los Angeles?

Ask a question about Los Angeles >

Local Q&A is brand new! What do you think? Give us your feedback in our feedback forum.

How should my sons' teacher approach me if there's a problem (he's in 2nd grade)?

Parent Answers to "How should my sons' teacher approach me if there's a problem (he's in 2nd grade)?"

Change City

Los AngelesLocal Q&A Change City

Los Angeles
Local Q&A Change City