I agree with what you are saying because at her school a 9 year old was kidnapped and molested. This is the type of school I am going to. I get the whole walking to the class, but my daughter was sick this am, threw up because of the anxiety of the school which is an entirely different email, but when I walked her down, and before yes, I did sign her in and followed the procedures, I wanted to make sure she was able to go to school so the teacher told me to talk to the nurse, which after talking to the nurse we both agreed it was a little bit of anxiety and what she ate, for a teacher to say we need to have a conference about me walking her down one time is wrong and I feel if a parent wants to walk her child.. so be it. As long as the parent follows the procedures.

More and more schools are adopting this policy but not for the reason they say. One reason is that when parents walk children to the class, the halls fill with adults - and we're bigger and take up more room - and that they believe we tend to linger at the door of the classroom and 'clog up the works.'
And in these sadly modern times, schools are increasingly fearful of having anyone in the building even the parents of enrolled children. Technically now any adult in any public school is supposed to have three levels of clearance that are three levels of criminal background checks. Of course parents of enrolled children can't be asked to obtain those clearances.
Do I agree that it 'builds independence' to have a Kindergarten child walk from the door to their classroom alone? No, I wouldn't agree with that and I would wish that schools would find a way to allow parents to be able to walk their children to the door of their school classroom particularly in the Kindergarten year.

I thought this would be the way things would go at my daughter's school too. However, they have made it where a parent may walk their kids to the classroom so long as we stop by the office and sign in. We then get a bright green sticker with our name, date and location of visit. It seems like this works out well. They also have a much better pick up for kinders then at first. They feared a kinder would end up lost so now they let out ten at a time to the front of school. If an adult is not in sight, the child must sit down against the wall with the monitors. When all kids are situated, they call (walkie talkies are used) the next batch out. Maybe you can talk to your school's office staff and see if you can sign in to walk her into class. If not, see what assurances you can get from them on safety issues.

Independce is great in my opinion.
You may want to check out this Oprah guest and her great book. www.thinkingpreteen.com/thinkingchild.htm
Raising a Thinking Child by Dr. Myrna Shure. Teaches great self confidence so your child won't be afraid to be independant and lets them learn critical thinking for the times when you can't and won't always be around.

The same thing happened in my son's former school. He was in PK and many parents did not like it , but it worked out well for my child and others.

I think it is for the safety and I hope it works well for you and your child.

I just reread my post. I can't believe I said batch! I meant group. I guess that is what happens when I post first thing in the morning before coffe kicks in!

no way, are you kidding, in kindergarten. At the end of kindergarten my daughter wanted to walk to class by herself because the bigger kids did. I stood in the hallway and watched her until she went into her classroom. Thankfully where she goes to school parents are allowed in the school before the second bell rings in the morning and after school after the first bell rings. I still walk her to her classroom. It is a great way to communicate with the teacher. In the afternoon the kindergarten classes are escorted to the lobby by their teacher and only released to a known person. The other grade levels are allowed to walk to the lobby on their own. We have discussed what to do incase mom or dad are not there. Safety is key. Read the newspaper, watch TV. I want to make sure my child is where she is suppose to be, with a safe adult when she is not with me.

At our school the teachers are outside every morning greet the children and they line up with their teacher and go in, at least for the first week or so. There is always a Kindergarten teacher or a TA outside to greet the buses and collect all the little guys and walk them down to their hall. I don't think this is a problem. The buses arrive in a way so that each bus gets emptied and the students "delivered" to their hall before another arrives.

The first day I wanted to walk my son to his class but they encouraged us to take our pictures and shed our tears outside so the kids won't get used to having mom and dad hanging outside their rooms. I understand because when my oldest was in Kindergarten I was encouraged to stay as long as she needed me and so then I ended up being a Kindergartener for about 2 weeks, when I said I couldn't stay with her any longer. My other daughter just left me at the door, without even looking back.

I think it is the parents that have the problem letting go, kids are doing what they are supposed to, branching out and having new experiences. I like the autonomy that my school provides the children, it is a small school with a lot of eyes watching what's going on so no one is without supervision. If I need to go anywhere beyond that main office I have to have my ID scanned and wear a big bright sticker stating my name and business there.

You'll be surprised at how much your child can do on his/her own, if only you'd let them.

me toooo

shorteie, it sounds like you are very reasonable about wanting to ease your daughter's anxiety. Walking to class suits my kindergartener okay, but every child is different and you are most in tune with what your child needs.

I would say that if you want to walk your daughter to class, it should be perfectly fine to sign in at the front desk and take her. I might even consider arriving a bit late to avoid the crowds. I don't know how disruptive this would be, but in our state kindergarten is optional, so surely arriving late wouldn't be a big deal!

Good luck finding a solution that works for you.

I had this debate with our Campus Excellence Committee and the teachers came to see it from a parent's point of view: we have a short time with our kids and if they want a little extra time with us in the morning, take advantage of it! I have a ritual with my sons, now in 4th and 5th grade, where I tell them "Be kind to your teacher, be kind to your friends, learn a lot and remember I love you! Be the blessing you are!" I've told them this everyday since the day they started kindergarten and I've escorted them to class every day as well. Just this year, due to my work schedule, I started leaving them off in the drop-off line but I miss the daily communication with their teachers. I feel teachers know that parents are more "plugged in" by bringing their child to class each day. I feel good knowing they are exactly where they are supposed to be rather than in the gym or hallway having to demonstrate a straight quiet line to get to class--they shouldn't start their days being yelled at. Our teachers are happy to see parents bring their child to class; they just don't want parents to linger and get their child's work out for them, etc.

Here's another way to look at it: My youngest daughter does not like change and doesn't handle transitions well. So I decided to have her take the bus to school. I know this sounds cold but when I thought about it and talked to some of my friends who work at the school, I knew it was the right thing to do. That way, she is leaving me and I am not leaving her. I think that has helped her to deal with the changes without mom being there to rescue her. And on the few days that she was crying, she was all better by the time the bus arrived at school. She was all ready to start her day, instead of crying at school.

I am a very involved parent and the teachers all know me, but our morning routine includes the bus ride, and it's working great, for us!

I think its pretty normal, Our school starts with the children on the playground, we walk our son to school and he goes there first and there is always a teacher or two on his playground- they watch them till the bell rings and then they line up and go to their classrooms. I imagine it has something to do with security reasons- and to give the teachers a little extra prep time before school- My son LOVES the time on the playground with his friends- and I think it helps him get the wiggles out in the morning!

My advice to you is, unless it truly involves the safety of your little one or is such an egrgious request or demand that it must be addressed, to go along with the rules at your school. You'd be suprised to find out that schools and teachers know what they are doing.

So little shorteie gets a kiss and a hug before the classroom? Is this really going to have an effect on their education?

Just go with what you feel is best for your child--my sons feel very happy and confident to have their Mom escort them to their classroom--their day is started off on a good note and they are ready for the day. It can just as easily happen at the sidewalk before they go into school. My son asked me to come in some time soon to see his "Student of the Week" award posted in the classroom and I will most definitely make it a point to do so in the next few days. Our school only has one open house a year and it's sad to think I only see where they spend 7 hours of each day once a year--I want them to know I care about what they are doing and experiencing each day just as I've brought them to my office to see where I'm at all day and try to explain what I'm doing while they are at school. Their "work" is school right now and it's important to let them know I'm very interested in their day's routine and activities. Research shows the more parents are involved with a child's school, the more successful the child is at school and the higher regard he has for his own education.

At my daughter's school only the first 2 days of school you are allowed to walk them in, after that they have to come in on there own. I have my daughter sign up for before care so I physical bring her in the building before school start, even though i have to pay for it, but I feel confident that she's inside the building not outside.

We are not allowed to walk our children to their class or just drop in either.
My kindergartener has to start her day by driving with me to ready care, eat cereal there, then get on a bus, drive past our house again and then get dropped off at the front of the school. The rest of the children get dropped off at the back of the school. I am one to always want to know what's going on so this really drove me crazy the 1st 2 weeks of school. This being said.....My daughter's teacher is very open to hearing from the parents, she continually sends home her phone # at school, her email address. I have been able to keep in constant touch with her teacher, I can give her a heads up if my daughter has been acting out at home, or slept poorly. It has been a real godsend. Also, the teacher notifies me if my daughter has been acting up. Oh, and when my daughter had a doctor's appt. 8am, afterwards, to drop her off at school, I just checked in at the office, they gave me a visitor pass and I was able to take her straight to her class. Our little babies are growing up, my daughter is perfectly fine with it....its me that has the problem :)

I think thats crazy not being able to walk your kindergarder into their class. My five year old just started kindergarten 2 weeks ago. She goes to a very small private Christian school where she also attended pre-school for 3 years prior. Even though she has gone into the same large building, the K-thru 12 is on the opposite side from where her pre-school classes were. I think it is great and I know by her actions and little face, she wants me to see where she spends her day. I donlt walk her in every day, as most of the time when I drop her off they are on the play ground until the bell rings, then each class lines up with their teachers, they say the pledge and morning prayer and each class files off to their individual room. I have been welcomed in each area. I do not however stay and interupt their classroom time. When I do take her into her class, I tell her I love her and for her to be a blessing, our little routine and Im off to work. There are times, since this is all very new to her, she has told me she wants to go back to pre-school, the change, its all very new, plus we are going thru a very painful seperation and divorce with her dad. I think you should be able to walk your child into their class, whatever grade they are in, as long as your have resonable sense and not stay and interupt the whole.

Shorteie, you replied early on in the thread that your school had a child kidnapped?

I can understand why the school would take these measures, but since they're putting it under the name of independence and not safety, then you have a lot more legroom than you might think.

Also, you might consider moving your child to a safer school. It might be easier than you think.

I believe that what our school does is correct for both interested parties. For the first 3 or 4 days parents are allowed to walk down to the class with the child. Then, staff posted throughout the building helps out. If a parent needs to speak to a teacher, they stop by the office for a pass to be visibly affixed to their person. Most children are happy to go on their own after their initial insecurites. Parents know where the class is and have made contact with the teacher so they are happy. Whenever we get a new child during the school year, the parent goes down to the classroom with the child. Separation anxiety issues also are better when the parent does not walk the child to the classroom after the initial first 3 days. It is often harder for the parent to separate. signed a former kindergarten teacher- now principal

I teach Kindergarten. I understand why you would feel like you were missing something important by not getting to walk your child to class. I also understand the school's point of view.
Separation anxiey is common for 5 year olds but it is only prolonged when the parents hang around. In fact, having a parent even walk by the class during the first two weeks of school ofthe triggers tears. The tears become contagious and before you know it there are large numbers of upset children and absolutely nothing worthwhile can happen in class until everyone is calmed down. I'll have to admit to wishing some parents would just stay away because of all the trauma involved when their child must separate from them.
Is it really so difficult to say goodbye at a drop off point where you know your child is in the care of the staff and won't be put in any danger? Later in the year, access to the classroom will be available without any of the earlier trials. Having gone through this myself, I know that the real difficulty stems from a parent's feeling of separation from the little child they have been caring for. It is hard to watch them move away. I cried daily when my child went into Kindergarten and I taught at the same school! She was fine.

We are beginning to see more of these types of interactions with families. I believe there is an underlying philosophy of mistrust for parents. It reminds me of some of the philosophies taught in social work. The point is that parents and families cannot be trusted with their own children.
When staff dont speak to families but acknowledge the child, ask children for information while the parent is standing there, refuse to meet with parents unless there is a formal meeting, it is a sign of real school issues. These types of practices are not best practices for working with families.
Most families would not drop their child off with a total stranger all day, but for some reason, because it is a school it is different. If a parents just left their children with a stranger and something happened, like they never learned or were hurt, the police and other agencies would fault the parent for neglect. Then why do schools think we would not want to be reassured of the personalities, backgrounds, interactions and practices of teachers who are with our children for most of the day?

Exactly...I stayed at home with my sons for 7 years as I do not feel anyone...repeat anyone...will care about them as I do. I carefully selected a Christian preschool with loving teachers and staff...then BAM! Public kindergarten...talk about shock treatment! One little boy in my son's kindergarten was written up for sexual harrassment because he HUGGED another little boy! Crazy!! In preschool and at home we teach them to be kind, kind, kind! One kindergarten teacher's favorite lines: "Is that my problem or is that your problem? You figure it out!" To a 5 year old...I totally get that the students need to learn the routine but why so cold and harshly? Is there no such thing as smooth transition??!! Further, a kindergarten teacher was suspended due to improper conduct (unnecssary roughness with a student/5-year old) and the principal refused to divulge any information about the situation. As Homeroom Mom for that class I knew exactly what happened. Teacher's records are not available to the public--they could have disciplinary records an inch thick and parents are not allowed to know that! Crazy! It's beyond me that we are expected to just live with the teachers that the school employs with such little information about who they are exactly and the school seemingly wants to keep us at bay by not allowing us to walk our kids to class. I do it inspite of what they say and I'll take it to the highest level if necessary. I'm a taxpayer and pay for that school! I'd love for cameras to be in each classroom. It's the parents who have to take a firm stand to make sure the school administration and specifically on-site managed schools take into consideration what's best for ALL--students, parents and faculty--involved. I believe you reap what you sow and if you don't take a great interest in exactly WHO your child is spending the majority of their day with, don't act puzzled as to why your child is the way they are. Often kids pick up the mannerisms of their day care worker/teachers and talk like them, believe what they believe, etc.

That makes no sense. Parents deserve to see their children to class. I remember when I was in Kindergarden, I was terrified to leave my mom and she walked me to class everyday too. At my old Elementary school I saw parents walking kids to classes everyday. They're so cute with their tiny hands...

What is this...Gestapo R US? (Is that us or U.S.) It's your daughter and it's your school, i.e., PUBLIC. Whoop-see. I almost forgot. These days "public" is synonymous with government-owned. As a mother, trust your instincts. As a parent, YOU decide (with all due respect to her teacher) if your daughter needs a push or should be entitled to one of those "clinging days". Motherhood is a beautiful thing that can only belong to you so don't give it up too soon...

Yes, that is normal. They are not in pre-school. They need to learn to be independent. The school also does not want a bunch of adults roaming the hallways. It keeps the school a safe zone for the children. So, walk them to the door of the school and kiss them goodbye. Some schools allow you to have breakfast or lunch with your kids. Once the kids are settled down a parent can come back and have lunch in a more controlled manner. Most kids don't go straight to class anyway. They usually meet in a group area first to wait for their teacher. She would probably be delighted to see you pop up every now and then for lunch. It will build her confidence and trust in you and her school.

I agree with iluvagaupt. Allowing everyone and anyone inside the building could put kids at risk, not to mention prolong the time it takes to settle them down. Here's an example (i know it's extreme but it's a possibility.): There was a woman on the news who was friends with 2 sex offenders and she had a 7 year old (i believe) little girl. Now if one of those friends walked the girl to school, and walked her to her classroom, how would that make you feel? (The reason they were on the news was because the girl was kidnapped and killed...they still don't know who did it.) By all means, this mother was irresponsible, but are all the parents of the kids at your school responsible? My whole point here is that we live in a different world now. It's not safe to have everyone walking around the school in the morning. Usually they don't mind if you go to the office and sign in.

The same could be said for many teacher and staff, I think it is smart to protect kids in anyway. We are talking about collaborations between parents and teachers. Most schools require parents and others to sign in, pass TB test and get background checks.

Strategies to help with parents not being a distraction is for teachers to be organized enough to know what they nee help with. In addition, learn the curriculum well enough not to have to read it out of a book.

There are schools that have teachers meet with 6 parents before school. The parents are kept abreast of the goals and aims for the day. This helps the parents to appreciate all the hard work teachers do everyday as well as parents become more knowledgeable about the standards, curriculum and teaching methods. It is a win-win situation.

There are two sides here. First, the parent side. Yes, we want to escort our kids in and see that they get the room correct, their lunch bag on the counter and backpack hung up in the right spot. Say good bye and a kiss. Now, imagine that being done with 18 to 22 kids (or more) from the teachers view. I watch the "clingy" parents hover over the kids and then talk to the teacher to get personal time as the bell is ringing for class to be started. The remainder of the kids are waiting outside for this parent to let go so all of the early morning work can get started (even in kindergarten). These parents wave and blow kisses to their son/daughter while the teacher is asking them to move from the doorway so they can CLOSE the door. If you are so worried about the starting of school process then volunteer to be a morning greeter, do copies for the teacher etc. Then you can assure your child that you are not far but both of you have jobs to do and you both need to concentrate on this aspect of your job. I have even watched parents in middle school come to school and FEED the middle school student.

I can imagine it because I was a teacher and I loved it.
I can imagine what you mean too. I believe it is just that parents want to feel a part of their child's education and when teachers use this interest and time to benefit the children everyone wins.
Again, parents wouldnt just hang around if they were given something to do. Most teachers have not thought that far ahead. At least that is what my students, who are teacher candidates tell me.
They say they want parents in their classrooms but when I ask what do you have in place for parents, many say nothing.
I think this is more about traditional teacher ideas of my own space, my own room and my island and those days are gone. It is all about collaboration. So, yes I think kids do need to learn to be independent but also
understand that parents have a place in the schools and classroom (NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND/IDEA).
That is funny the picture you drew in my mind of the parent holding the class up. You are good with words.

I disagree as well; parents need to feel welcome every step of the way. If the parent feels left out, the child will certainly feel that in some way as well. The childs security comes from knowing the parent is available at all times.
We are permitted to 'shadow' our son if necessary. When he transferred to his new school the staff and adminstration went above and beyond their responsibilities to make us feel welcome and part of the school community; our son had an easy transition because he seen us often throughout his day in his first year at his new school.

marcsdad:
Well stated and I totally agree. These are people's children and anyone who has our children needs to learn to develop relationships with the main characters in that child's life. Because this is often not done, education has been so disconnected from people's real lives.

I have to also add that because Marc knows we communicate regularly with the school staff, he is likely to think twice about his behavior 'going south'! Because we as parents have the freedom to come and go in his school; we are more comfortable 'going'. We communicate via email with school administration and teachers also, so that helps alot as far as the 'comfort zone'. Parents need to speak up; not 'put up' with someone telling them what they are going to do regarding their children's emotional well-being. We turn heads when we speak up, but you can believe our son is safe and he feels safe as well (which is more important for him really to be successful).