How would ou react in a situation that I am currently in with my 3rd grader & her teacher?

We just moved back to CA from AZ after living out there for 3yrs.The 1st week of school, my dd's teacher calls my husbands WORK to say she has an urgent msg about her. My husband calls back after being contacted on the road (truck driver) and she says "Your daughter needs a spiral notebook." Not much of an urgent issue but anyway every week she calls to complain to me about my daughter, as in: Worst student in her over 20yrs of teaching, would like to have a child psych sit in on a conference, saying my dd is bad but sending her home with a green, not to mention the WHOLE class has a head silhouette EXCEPT my kid. I am feeling as if she is being singled out by her teacher. She called me today talking about the psych being needed and I went and pulled my daughter out and told the school I am not bringing her back until she gets put in another class. My dd was awarded (2) honor rolls, (2) principles List, and (1) Most academic all in 1 yr @ previous school. What would u do?

Parent Answers to "How would ou react in a situation that I am currently in with my 3rd grader & her teacher?"

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Hey Mary,
My heart goes out to you! I went thru something similar where the Principal was like how this teacher was behaving! So I had a real tough time. My daughter was reading when she was 4 but her teacher said at the beginning of school that she was reading at level 7 in KG which was incorrect ,she refused to give her appropriate work and my daughter was getting bored, the Principal backed her (it's the school thing)After being singled out in class (she would not get picked for chores,not given chance to answer in class etc etc ,made her feel like she was not part of the class)...........BUT who could I go to when the Principal was on her side? I had to go to another school to get her evaluated,they found her to be reading at level 23 in KG,I went to the Principal and showed her the results and told her I will go to the board if needed......then things got little better. But the Principal was pissed off and would make me feel so unwelcome in school at PTA things. Finally after 1 1/2 years, I moved to another school, did not want to make my daughter and myself go thru 3 more frustrating years.
Believe me ,there ARE teachers in this world who are totally not FIT to be teachers, they are supposed to be EQUAL to all,but they are not.....and then there are teachers who are like DREAM teachers, they motivate your child to be the BEST, they encourage your child to be so much more than what he/she is capable of........thankfully the latter are more but if you happen to get the wrong kind of teacher, your life is ruined and so is your child's. It is heartbreaking to SEE your child go through this in Elementary school..you would think one has to worry when they go to High School/College. If your child's teacher is singling her out.......go to the Principal and have her assigned to another class. BE POSITIVE about the teacher ,just say she is nice but my child would benefit more from a teacher who had a slight different personality, someone who was more encouraging, we are new to the area and it is a big adjustment for her, if you could please help put her with another teacher. Don't bad mouth the teacher , even if you are telling the TRUTH, NOBODY LISTENS......I have learnt !! And make WRITTEN REQUEST,write a polite letter to the Principal........JUST BE POLITE and POSITIVE..........
Good luck!
p.s We just moved to another city 10 minutes away just to be out of THAT school......could not take it any more!
Also get letters from teachers from her old school...
States levels are different but not THAT different....that an honor roll child gets to the bottom suddenly!

What are your other options? Are there charter schools in your area? Are there affordable private schools?
Would you consider home-schooling your daughter?

What I'd do would depend on what my options are. If you feel this school is your best option, then I'd place a call to the Principal or the school's guidance counselor and try to work this out with them. Schools can have the upper hand when we pull our children from them as they can declare your daughter to be truant from school. It's best to avoid that if possible but I certainly understand why you would want a different teacher for your daughter.

I completely understand where you are coming from. I know standards vary from state to state. She may forget an assignment 1-2 times a week but it is always turned in by that weeks end.

The teacher I have to say has some issues. When she called me she said my dd was having issues that morning and it wasn't a good day, but when I went to pull her out she sent her with a stamp which means she had a great day. I don't understand this teacher at all. In a p/t conference she asked if we help my dd with homework, and I replied yes. She said we shouldn't be helping my dd and we should leave her be so she can become more independent with doing her own work and not to be around her. So I said I would do that from then on. So during that phone call which lead to this she said "Well maybe you need to sit with your daughter while she does her homework." WTH??? The week before she just told me to NOT be near her when she does her work then she goes on to say maybe it's because of her "unsupportive parents" ??? Isn't that an oxymoron???

I know my daughter isn't perfect but kids will be kids. She is always well behaved here at home. She is a social butterfly I will say and won't deny, but talking is not a complaint from her teacher. It just seems she tries to nit pick to find "issues".

In our area we have been having fires and up until yesterday air quality wasn't good so locals were advised to stay indoors. Combined with the high temperatures the children weren't allowed to play outside. Why did her teacher send her outside to complete some class work?

I can go into full detail as to why I believe it is the teacher. I was also an avid daydreamer as a child, I have report cards to prove it, yet I was never treated as unfairly as my dd has been and I also graduated at 16 and 3rd in my class. So my opinion is that daydreaming isn't a sign of ADHD.

Many children daydream to some extent. Also, every child has a different learning style. Some need that one on one attention and I know not all teachers can provide that BUT they can at least advise the parents of their needs and not tell the parents to stay away from their child.

Some teachers instantly label a child and they stick with it and that's what I believe has happened here.

You mention your daughter is in 3rd grade. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but state standards aren't the same from one place to another, so being an honor roll student in AZ doesn't necessarily mean she'll be at the top of her class in CA. Nevertheless, the teacher does seem to be quite harsh, and apparently singling out your daughter for what seems like rather ordinary student behavior. How often during a typical week does your daughter forget her things?

Please don't take this the wrong way, but daydreaming and having difficulty completing work on time, and missing assignments, can be signs of a condition called ADHD-inattentive. Usually the children who have it don't show outward hyperactivity and they aren't disruptive to the whole class, so they don't get identified when they're younger. The brighter the students are (some kids with ADHD can be gifted) the later the teachers usually make an issue of it. You might just want to try to get a copy of Kathleen Nadeau's book "Understanding Girls with ADHD" and see if your daughter's behaviors are similar to what's described...

Sound like she is singling out your dd. I agree with your decision to pull her out. This sounds like harrassment by the teacher. I would talk to the principal as soon as possible and bring along her awards from previous school to illustrate how well she preformed before. Hopefully they will be able to place her with a new teacher. Good luck.

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