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Anonymous September 1, 2009

Anyone else had this problem with PTA?

Anonymous
Year after year, like a good parent, I pay for the PTA membership. Sign up with all my contact info, to be on some event committees for the year. Go to some but I can't make all the PTA meetings. The events I sign up to help out with come along and no call what-so-ever from the PTA wanting my assistance. When I do try to help out with any school function, the PTA regulars clique look at me like "what is she doing here?". When I try to make conversation, I'm either out right ignored or the reply is very short. I had once try to offer a really good fund raising idea (goodsearch.com) and they looked at me like I had 3 heads. This is the last year at that school and I'm not playing that game this year. I tried.
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Parent Answers to "Anyone else had this problem with PTA?"

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stayinformed
stayinformed September 30, 2009
I agree with many of the post. I too have experienced very pushy PTA Presidents, bake-sale mentalities and cliques. I have decided to help in other ways at the school. While I support some things other I do not.
I decided to join School Site Council where my voice really counts and we focus on all students achieving.
Maybe I am wrong but when people join PTA they think of a voice for parents and a collaboration with the school. Many times it turns out to be parent recruitment. While most of us would love to help we want to have a say in what types of activities. For example, why have a book sale each year when the teachers say they have too many books and they feel gulity that they are asked by PTA to make a wish list when they dont have a need for more books. Why?
Dont get me wrong, I do it all at my kids schools.
I am changing the structure of parental involvement though from parent recruitment to parent partnerships. People dont like it but most of the parents who dont show up to events and such really feel used and disconnected and I think it is time to become a community again.
Another example, our school did not celebrate Black History or Latino month, yet we celebrated Dr Suess all week and it was sponsored by the PTA. Our school is very diverse and it was so inappropriate.
Crissleigh
Crissleigh September 17, 2009
and no PTO member wants to the one who made a bad call and made the kids get the short end of the stick.

The best thing you can do is attend as many meetings as you can and always offer to help out even if you don't get a phone call to be asked. Once they see you really are dependable and willing to help I am sure your phone will be ringing off the hook.

Best of luck !!
Crissleigh
Crissleigh September 17, 2009
I have been on both sides of this issue . I agree 100% that the PTO/PTA should in no way be a clique that is the way it felt the first year I joined PTO. Yet I have also been a PTO officer called parents who signed up to help and yes forgot about the event even though I called them back with a reminder ,showed up late ,or hid from me when I went to get them to run a game or help.
Two things everyone needs to unerstand ,first off you can not judge every parent because a few have let you down in the past all parents ideas should be heard and everyone given the chance to help out .
Yes PTO can feel like a clique to new or first time parents .The thing is you do have a few parents who work closely on several projects and you form a friendship that is the great thing about PTO. It can be a lot of fun and yes a lot of work . When we are running short on time or in a pinch we do call parents we know we can count on and yes most often we start with them first.
As for the fundraiser idea sometimes it is hard to say yes to a new fund raiser because if it is a flop the PTO pays the price in more ways than one. Plus if we do not make much of a profit the kids get shorted also.
Janette
Janette September 16, 2009
I've been on the other side of this issue.

Have you ever thought that maybe the "clique" is not looking down on you? That maybe they've just had unreliable assistance for so long that they've learned which people they know they can count on?

I've done several projects for the PTA, and dutifully spread out the responsibilites. ONe mom is going to bring cookies, another run a game, etc. I'd say at least of the helpers "forget" and most of the rest bungle things so badly I would be better off not doing them at all. There are usually a handful of parents who I can count on to get there and do things right, and these days I call them first.

And as far as your fund-raising idea goes-- well, I guess I know the reason it went over like a lead balloon. "The clique" probably spends a lot of time and effort doing things for the school, and there's a reason fundraising is done the way it is now. Over the years the people who do most of the work have gotten things arranged so they get maximum return on less efort. When someone comes along wanting to do something different, it means that someone is going to have to head up the committee, get approvals, write flyers, get the word out, make reports, and follow up.

Now if YOU are willing to head the committee, fantastic-- but from your post I didn't get the feeling that's what you had in mind. I got the feeling you had the idea and wanted someone else to do all the work.
And if I got that feeling reading a post as an uninvolved bystander, I can only imagine what the other PTA members thought.
betula1315
betula1315 September 12, 2009
Thank you. It's nice to hear such good news. It's encouraging. Now, we're waiting for the result of our reaction. Iheard that school administration will change the things for good. My son will attend an event at the school. We will wait and see. Thanks again.
MomByTheBeach
MomByTheBeach September 12, 2009
I am so sorry that you had such a negative experience with your PTA. The biggest complaint across the board is that PTA Board is such a clique. I can tell you that was my first impression. However, I jumped right in and volunteered to chair an event for the PTA the first year I was in the school, and I can honestly say that some of my closest friends / neighbors are those I have met through our PTA. I will cherish our friendships forever. These friendships were built on the hours of time each of us worked side by side together for a better cause (our kids and our school!). I wish you better success with your future PTA endeavors.....
betula1315
betula1315 September 11, 2009
Whoever has any complaint of their PTA is often right. I had a different problem with the PTA of my child's school. The School's PTA members (except parents) always saw themselves "exceptional". For example, at any school event,such as concerts, games etc.they always held the front seats(sometimes even second row seats) with books, coats,umbrellas etc. for their "very late coming family members and friends" who actulally have nothing to do with the player or the performer.When anybody wants to sit in the front seats to see his/her child who will perform/play, a PTA member immediately approaches that parent and starts argument (sometimes things go out of control) before the audiance. Eventually, a group of parents stopped paying PTA dues until they quit this anti-democratic and discriminating practice. Now we're waiting for the result of our reaction. I think it will work and the parents' reaction will change many things for good. Hope you find this answer useful.
ablessing
ablessing September 10, 2009
When it comes to the PTA, most do not understand the real purpose of it and unfortunately, they only do bake sales, collect a little money and then spring fling then that's usually it.
All schools should first invite the State PTA member to come in and speak with those parents who signed up. This gives a better understanding of what the PTA is now and why it will benefit your childs school.
Please do not give up on your child--you may need to sit down and have a talk with the principal, pta president and the secretary to see exactly what it is they are doing to help get things done for the benefit of the entire school.
Funding being the way it is in most schools, PTA's can do so much if they understood what they should be doing and how it should be done.
kjdmom
kjdmom September 3, 2009
Excuse my improper terminology - PTA members are advocates - to call us lobbyists would indicate we got paid to do what we do.
If your school has a PTA whose only function is to raise funds or bake cookies - contact your state PTA and ask what can be done to help get your school back on track - they are there to help and will but only if someone asks.
kjdmom
kjdmom September 3, 2009
Buckaroo, I am sorry you have had a bad experience with your PTA, but to make a generalized statement about PTA stating the parents and teachers do not cooperate to help children is way off base. In our school, and mostly what I have seen in our entire state that it exactly what happens. MOST of our board members are working parents - not cliqued stay at home moms, and after going to convention I have learned that is how it is at most schools in the entire state. It is more than fundraising - properly functioning PTAs lobby to improve education, family involvement, health and safety - in a range from the local level to the federal. I am sorry to those of you who have had bad experiences, but to make a difference is to stand up to change your local PTA to make it function properly for all children.
kimber113
kimber113 September 1, 2009
yeah been there done that. im a young mother and the other older mothers and teachers thought of me as a threat- so i was told- so it put a damper on everything. so because of their immaturity I just quit. but i made friends with the principal of the school and if I had a bright new idea id share it with her and she'd be the voice for me., which my ideas made the most progress :)
buckaroo
buckaroo September 1, 2009
I always wondered why PTA was named Parent Teacher Association. It has nothing to do with parents and teachers communicating and sharing ideas. It seems like the only goal is to have a fundraiser. Most parents are kept outside except for a few stay home cliqued moms that treated everyone just like you described.

I found it more productive to befriend your child's teacher and ask her directly what you can do to help out the class.
tjlove
GreatSchools Staff tjlove September 1, 2009
If the PTA isn't working out for you, there are other ways you can get involved at your child's school. Here is a link to a resource list called, "The Parent Involvement Primer," that links to most of our articles on volunteering at your child's school. Hopefully it helps.
www.greatschools.net/improvement/volunteering/parent-involvement-primer.gs?content=366
kjdmom
kjdmom September 1, 2009
That is what kills PTA participation and membership. Those PTA's also seldom have the best interest of the children in the forefront of their minds. It is more about their being important. I would suggest if you want things to change - speak to your school administrator and ask her how the nominating committee for the PTA is chosen. It does no one any good to keep the same officers year after year - rotating positions. I stepped out this last year after being president for the last two terms and told them I would not serve because I was afraid I would stifle the growth and new ideas of the new board. I am still active, still do my volunteering, and am still on hand to consult if they have any questions.
It sounds like that is what is happening at your school as it does at many. The only thing that will make it better is a "changing of the guard" and fresh new ideas.

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