My son was bullied last year, now i'm worried he may get in trouble for fighting this year...

my son was bullied last year in kindergarten by a classmate. We taught him to stand up for himself, and now he and the bully are freinds (freindly, not pals). But i'm afraid my son is confused. When scwabbles occur with freinds, he "fights back" too soon and when he shoulddn't. Now i think we need to teach him it's not okay to fight back, but how will he stand up for himself if he encounters another bully? The school wouldn't help last year, we had no choice but to teach him to fight back. I don't want my son to be bullied, or become a bully--what do i do?

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Standing up for yourself and fighting back are two different things. And squabbles with friends - where does 'fighting back' come into that? Fighting back suggests there's fighting first and then he fights 'back' - a squabble with a friend can be met with 'squabbling back' - why does your son elevate it to a fight?
Squabbling is verbal, not physical and there's a very big difference.
"You don't hit" is a very important rule for children to learn. "Use your words" not your hands is another. "Standing up for yourself by using your words" will serve him better than 'fight back'.
Tell him all that - tell him he's confused and straighten out his confusion. He seems to be a child who learns very quickly and takes very seriously what you say to him.

You might like to join Greatschool's Bully Prevention Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11560

In most states it is a requirement for schools to have anti-bullying policies and enforce them. Talk to the school administrator about the policy and your child's specific problem. Letting your son physically fight back is probably not the best answer since it doesn't matter anymore if a child is standing up for himself or not when he is caught in a fight at school.
Generally speaking - if a kid challenges back with words (some girls on the playground tried to bully her in kindergarten - and she said "what are you going to do if I do (what they said she couldn't)" and they never bothered her again. I have seen this with many others also.

When my son was small we found that telling him that he was not allowed to start a fight, but that he was allowed to finish a fight. It gave him the right to defend himself, without making him into a bully himself.

A bully is person who likes to beat on and intimdate smaller or weaker people. Imagine if he didn't feel small or weak.

Dont teach him to fight if it is to bad go to the teacher if he brings the issue home the same day after talking with the teacher you then know it bothers him and address it with the principal.. If you recieve no follow up after you talk to the principal.. ITs YOUR job to take it higher... Tell him that things that other kids do that hurt him he should not retaliate because he wouldnt want it done to him..... However if a child hits him for any reason....He will then have every right to hit him back defending himself of course...And I would go to the grave fighting for that right!!!!!!!!! Hope this helps..I raised my child not to fight so I know how frustrating it is to hear him complain about another child picking on him and you feel helpless.. I choose my battles wisley and fight the fights worth fighting..I know I cant always be there to rescue him from all that happens but by the time im not hopefully he will have grown some gonads

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My son was bullied last year, now i'm worried he may get in trouble for fighting this year...

Parent Answers to "My son was bullied last year, now i'm worried he may get in trouble for fighting this year... "

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