I don't think you'd be seen as crazy if you tried to open up to join a few activities now...especially if you used the logic that college admissions people like to see involvement in student clubs and organizations. I'm still hoping you'll explain how you're age 15 and a junior. Being younger than your classmates could account for one reason why you feel uncomfortable...I know, because I skipped a grade. Did you?

Ugh...it seems like I have no hope left. School hasn't gotten any better lately. What is it about my school that makes me so...quiet? afraid? My mom is trying to encourage me to 'open up' to the kids there this year, but I've tried it before and if I opened up now, in junior year, they'd think I was crazy. Everyone already have their friend groups, and so many rumors have been passed around about me, that people are too afraid to be seen even talking to me- or they'll be outcasted too.

BTW, my uncle moved out of that house. Maybe I can convince my dad to rent it for a while, since it's my grandfather's property.

Magnetmom, it seems like some school districts do have different criteria....We've got a couple of kids down the street who say they stay with their grandparents, and the bus picks up and drops off in front of the grandparent's home, but their mom brings them to granny's house every morning on her way to work, and picks them up afterwards. I'm pretty sure the grandmother doesn't have legal custody or guardianship, but the kids do spend a few nights there on occasion, according to my neighbor friend, since her son will play with those boys when they're around. I'm not entirely sure where the rules for guardianship take over, but in an overcrowded school district like Nikki describes, they probably are more inclined to verify all residency requirements are met than in a less-populated school.

Nikki, without a doubt the most honest approach would be for your family to move into the district where the school is, but if you're a junior and only have a year and a half or so to go before graduation, it's probably not realistic for them to relocate. Maybe they would let you live with your uncle?

Hi _Nikki_, sorry I'm coming to this late.

As for pretending to live with your uncle, he'll have to prove he's your guardian, and that's a real pain to do, legally. He'd have to sign documents saying he's legally responsible for you, and that's different than just saying you live with him. And where I live, good schools do check, and kids using Grandma's address for a year are suddenly without a school--it's the drama you don't want to deal with, trust me.

Whether the art school would be interested if you're good at it would depend on whether they consider that in the application process. Some schools allow any kids interested in their subject in--whether they're any good or not--and others require portfolios or auditions. That would make a big difference.

If this school really appeals, have your mom call and find out whether they take out of district students and what that process is.

And I agree with TeacherParent. What rumors circulate as fact for what schools are "good" or "not good" are sometimes based solely on nothing. Even schools with less than great test scores have some phenomenal programs.

Good luck. The skills you're learning now will help you as you apply to college, so learn them well. :)

Thanks for the fast reply!
The school normally would allow 'fence-jumpers,' but it's kind of overcrowded. Doesn't bother me, though.
I just wish we lived around there in the first place. I don't know why we don't just move- there's nobody my parents or I talk to in our neighborhood.

Since this is an art school we're talking about, do you think I would have a greater chance of being accepted since I'm good in art? I've been in art classes for 2 years so far.

They very well could watch as you go home, since you'd be walking on public right-of-ways, etc. I also have heard of situations where schools will go to people's homes and verify that students actually live there. It might not be as big a problem since you are related to your uncle, and he'd probably tell them you're around, but you might want to leave some clothes and stuff at his house, and spend some time, so he can honestly say you stay there.

Oh, I don't take the bus! His house is only a few blocks away. When they say, 'they expect him to pick me up and drop me off,' does that mean they're going to watch me as I go home, or investigate his house as proof that I live there? Because that's an invasion of privacy...

Nikki, birth certificates don't say where your parents live, or where anybody lives. They just say where you were born. If you're 15, they also can't require you to have a driver's license, since you're too young. They CAN, however, ask for proof of residency in their district, which your uncle, if he's in agreement, can provide via copies of utility bills, etc. If the school provides bus transportation, they'll also expect to pick you up and drop you off at his house.

Hey guys, I want to shout out a big THANK YOU for all the supportive comments and advice- even though I'm not even a parent!

Okay, recently I've been thinking this all over- and yes, I aspire to be either a graphic artist, chemist, or some kind of scientist that studies space, planets, stars, etc. I think that's aeronautics.

But, I'm really good in art, so I would probably do good at this other school. The problem is, I need 3 things: a birth certificate of where my parents live, (I could just say I live with my uncle...) 3 pieces of mail as proof of where I live, and a driver's license. Hmm...my uncle shares the same last name as me. Do you think it could work out?

Like I tell my daughter that is 13 you are in school to get an education. There will be PLENTY of time to socialize and find out what people you will REALLY want to be around in life. My oldest daughter is 21 and thru most of her high school I had to twist her arm to be around other kids. She much rathered read a book and get good grades. Amazingly now that she is in college she is a social butterfly that LOVES to be involved and in the midst of people. Its all about being able to recognize when you have met the group of people you can excel around and what you do to help it all happen. Best Wishes

I hope you can clarify...are you just 15 and a junior? School isn't really the place to be dating, and since it sounds like you do have a bunch of friends at the public school, why don't they invite you on mixed-gender group outings on the weekends? It's natural for teens to "want to meet guys and all" but lots of parents don't like their daughters dating until they're 16 or older. (Teen boys are usually less mature than girls, anyway.)
College really isn't that far away.... you'll be taking SAT/ACT's in spring, but you can be thinking about arranging college visits already. Lots of universities have special programs over "high school holiday weekends" like Veteran's Day; maybe you can get your parents to take you to one?

Thanks guys, I'm really glad you see things from my perspective, even if I'm only a 'confused teenager' in my mom's eyes!

I'm currently in my junior year at my current private school- but I just don't fit in. I don't think anything can change that. It wasn't any different in sophomore year, either- and I don't have the slightest hope that junior year will be good, either.

All my friends go to this public school, and they all sit and talk at the same lunch table and socialize. I'm just so jealous and I feel like there's nothing to look forward to anymore- because in MY school, I'm a complete loser, but I know things would be different if I were in my friends' school. I want to meet guys and all, but they're aren't many opportunities out there for me. Most people make friends from school, right?

The only reason I even do my work is for college. That's the only thing that keeps my spirits up, even though it's a complete two years away...

No school is the right school for everyone - it doesn't sound as if your school is right for you and - your parents are paying a great deal of money to send you there. Every year can be different though and sometimes joining a new group, going out for a new sport or befriending new girls in the class or volunteering to help a new teacher can help your school year to be better.
If you're pretty convinced that nothing will be better this year though - you could move in with your relative. 'Fence jumpers' - people who send their children to a district they dont' live in - are fairly common. Tell the district you haven't been living there but now you are and move in - move home on weekends. Change your legal address - do you have a driver's license? Change the address if you do.
And - around here public high schools will allow you to attend even if you live out of district - for a fee. Find out what the fee would be for you to attend this other high school even if you lived out of district - likely it's less than the tuition at your private school.

And what I've found recently is that schools with terrible reputations aren't always as terrible as folks say - visit what would be your local public school and see if you think it's as bad then as you do now.
Good luck.

I had a daughter who had the same problem like you that just din't fit in. Changing school is like running away from the problem. No matter where you go to school, or even have a job someday there is always going to be someone to make your life miserable. So here it is. You tell them that life is not easy for anyone to cope with let alone the fact that your trying to be who you are. and then you say I'm not upset about what you think of me. I'm upset about that you don"t even know me well enough to say things like that . I don't expect anybody to like me to get along me. All I want to do is get through high school like everyone else. This is what we told our daughter, and she began thinking more positive of herself. Today, she is going to college to become a pharmacist. Remember, think positive of yourself, we are all special in Gods eyes. Take care, you did the right thing, talking about this to someone who cares very much.
Nell

How big is your current high school? I want to be sure I understand...you say you've been hurt too much for your first 2 years of high school...are you 15, and entering your junior year?
Did you skip a grade before? I did, and so I was always younger and somewhat of an "outcast" to many of my peers, but I found just a couple of good friends, and they helped me through. When I got to college, and could study what I want (engineering) I found plenty of friends, both guys and girls, who I could "relate to" and get along with much better than the catty kids in high school. What kinds of things are you interested in doing outside of school hours? What do you see yourself doing as a career? Is college required for that field? I know it's not easy, but I'd really try to convince yourself that this high school drama is temporary, and things will improve. Focus on your grades, and your future. IF you really feel you can't deal with it now, maybe your parents would consider homeschooling or cyberschools....Some states have their own approved online high schools, but others to consider are places like www.k12.com

I am going to tell you only what I wish I had done when I attended High School and had some similar issues, at times...the time and place were very different, but high school is pretty much the same for those of us who don't feel a need to conform to the status quo.

If you don't often get along with the girls around you, I can completely relate to that, at times they can get pretty snarky. I was a sort of shy person too, during school. I just want to say that having lots of friends, or being popular is not all that big a deal, later on...just ask anyone who attended a high school reunion...the fat boy became a hottie...the hottie a drunk and the most "popular girl" is now fat with pimples, and lost teeth, & on & on.

There is sometimes too much emphasis placed on living it up during your high school years when if you just try to get good grades...Your doing good.

Try to do yourself a BiG Favor and just tune in to your studies, and tune out the negative parts, if you can.

No one should feel there are no options...there are always options. See if there is some way to get an exemption if your parents will agree...or just get into the courses and buckle down so that , as you get ready for a better school, (college) you keep your scores high and your self esteem up.

Having just a couple of good friends makes everything better...so, rely on a couple of folks, you choose to bond with more deeply, to keep you socially active, and forget those who rile you up...they aren't worth your time and energy!

Believe me, it's worth focusing on the lessons and growing your mind, and not letting people get in the way of your progress, whatever school you attend. And darling be happy that your folks can afford the good schooling for you, that is a secret blessing one cant usually appreciate until later on, in hindsight...
public schools could be another kind of horror story!

Sorry i am long~winded...best of luck!

;~})

Peace & haPpiness your way~
Tracey

First of all there are always other options. It just takes time to find them. I can understand your feeling of non-acceptance and isolation at your school if other kids have harassed you. IT is very important for you to let those negative feelings go, kids are mean no matter where you go. There will always be someone who bugs you. Don't allow them to keep you from enjoying your high school years. Find one activity that you like to do that the school offers and start participating in it. It is OK to be quiet and shy. You only need one friend, not a whole bunch. What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? When you start to open up about what you like, then it might make it easier to connect with someone.

I would also use the support system at the school. Talk to the adults at the school the counselor, psychologist, teachers, secretaries. They maybe able to help you get connected to your school or help you with your motivation.

Another thing would be to check and see if the other district accepts inter-district transfers. An inter-district transfer would allow someone from another district to attend a school even though they don't live in the district.

If things are really bad then another option would be to go and live with your relative so you could attend the other school. Bur most of all don't ever give up! There are always other options to solve a problem.