My daughter has done that! She is also 4 and says "You talk too much". I asked her what it was about cleaning her room that she didn't like, she said "It's too big, too much".

When I thought about it I realized she was trying to say she didn't feel she was being heard, and she was overwhelmed. Sometimes it just takes sitting with her while she puts things away, and maybe putting a couple of things away myself, then she's happy as a clam. Now she does an awesome job, well at least the floor is clear and there's nothing under the bed! hee hee

awsome you know I always thought it was him feelin safe at home but theres another thouht our sons diet. cool thanks!!!

JLMommy, your son's issues sound different than jcdewey's. The fact your son CAN "hold it together" during school, but acts worse at home, seems more like a situation where he is aware of his behaviors, and can control them to a certain degree. Either he puts so much effort into being good at school that he's exhausted and overly tired once he's home and can't help himself, or perhaps he feels it's a "safe environment" so he lets all his "pent up frustrations out."
Have you tried letting your son have a snack and take a nap after school, to see if his "attitude improves?" My son wasn't much of a napper, but we discovered that he does have borderline hypoglycemia, and when his blood sugar levels fluctuated from not eating for awhile during school hours, he would get moody and act irritable at home. By giving him a healthy snack when he walked in the door, he calmed down and soon became more even-tempered.

I am experiencing the same behavior from my 4.5 year old. He's a complete angel while at school, but once he gets in the house, it's a totally different story. I really don't know what else to do with him!

talk to nice and put him in time out when he has one, and then explain to him why he was in time out

I have 3 boys all difr. but all anger iss. this is what I do My 7year old is full of the othr 2's teaseing so I make sure he undrestands that by acting hastie he is just making it worst for himself I say if they are bothering you tell them fast and to the point. if they do not let up they will loose free time and stick to it .have you tryed finding a sport like kickboxing? they teach respect and focus anger into the bag.

Another completey differnet route to explore is food allergies. Some children have an unknown allergy which affects their behavior.

I think it's wise for you to get a professional's opinion. You might want to look at some of these resources: "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, "1,2,3 Magic" by Tom Phelan, and www.bpkids.org

Continuation of post... Talking to my son in a calm tone does not work either. At times, he gets even more frustrated and I just do not know what to do. He is like a woman with his mood swings...I never know what he is going to be like. Generally he is a great child and I love him to death!