Well, It seems like your on the right track. Your doing the right thing as a mother. as far as getting her the treatment that she needs to deal with such a thing. Just keep doing what your doing, and if the problem persists you should confront the situation. Get the principal and teacher's involved. Have them call the other parent if you need to so that the other child can be repremanded for their behavior.

It sounds fine and dandy to tell you that your girl must stand up for herself, but i find that many kids haven't harnessed that skill at such a young age unless it's been reinforced at home first. For example, child has siblings where "standing up" is a must-do. Counseling is key. There's something much deeper to consider in this problem and you will need formal help. Your school's Principal must take the stand first, not your child. Children must receive sensitivity training (i don't know what else to call it) and be given the opportunity to role-play. Yes, turn the table on the bullies in a controlled environment in the school and dare I say let them have it? Obviously this needs to be fine-tuned and I don't offer this advice loosely, but I've seen it work. Bullies need help, too, as they are suffering inside and are using the only tool they feel they have. It's not an easy situation, it requires lots of thought, and do involve the school social workers as they are resourceful experts. Your child's school leaders and authority figures simply MUST be held accountable as well as the bully's parents. I would never settle for anything other than what I recommend here. Don't settle for less when the emotional and physical safety of your child is jeopardized. You're helping to set the precedent for her in her adult life. Best wishes to you and your very special girl. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

I tell my 5 year old she has a special mission she has to teach them how to used their good manners, I tell her it wont be easy but if you think its too hard dont do it, we come up with scenerios and we each give a solution she feels her solutions will always work.

I purchased a popular American Girl work book on bulling. It had some good hints on how to stand up for yourself. My daughter was bullied to the point of depression, and anorexia. My child's physician did help by sending some specific instructions to the school, requesting support. I went as far as to pull my child from school, next year I am sure what we are doing next.

Hi! Your daughter needs to stand up for herself. That the only way she cand make the bulling stop. The kids who bully her do it because they know she wont do anything, so if she stood up for herself they will back off.
I also get bullied because i am a really shy person. Then one day i stood up for myself and the bullig stopped. Hope this helps you. :)

My kiddo is going into 4th grade. She has nothing physically wrong with her but she is sooooo shy. She somehow knows who to stay away from and for the most part they leave her alone. One girl especially I use to have my daughter invite to functions--well no more! Prehapes the parents of these types of kids will get the picture when their child is no longer invited to places. I told my daughter this year she can decide who is invited and the class (girl) bully was the first one off the list. What is most funny is the teacher last year paired my child with the "bully". We never dicussed it (the teacher and I) and I think it did my shy one some good as she held her own.

Your daughter MUST stand up for herself. That is the only way the bullying will stop. I the bullies know that she will not take crap from them, then bullying her becomes less appealing. My oldest daughter was picked on horribly only because she was shy. Being my first born and not knowing what to do other than telling her she is a great girl with a lot to offer, I didnt know what else to say. Through my youngest daughter I have since learned that when the child being picked on sticks up for herself, the bullies usually will move on. If she just is too shy to stand up for herself I suggest counseling. My oldest never did stick up for herself and did a downward spiral in her junior and senior year. grades dropped and she almost didnt graduate. It took until she was 21 before she became ok with herself. I hope this helps

The fact is this: Your daughter must learn to live with herself and comments about being beautiful, etc. are meaningless. This is due to the psychological fact that children are and have been shown to be primarily mean spirited. There is nothing bad about this. It simply has to do with the stage of brain development. The early stage brain is given to being rather cruel. It is not until about the age of 24 that the prefrontal cortex is developed and one can tell more correctly right from wrong. So we must live in the present unfortunate environments. How to do it? You must realize that children ban together to pick on another disadvantaged child for whatever disadvantage that child may possess. Here are some guidelines to try:
1. Visit the school and ask them to form a team with you: YOU, the COUNSELOR, THE HOMEROOM TEACHER, and the EDUCATIONAL PSYCHOLOGIST (is they have one). Ask them to identify a child in your child's classroom to serve as Mentor. That child's responsibility is to look after your child and help integrate her with the other children. Adults CANNOT DO IT- IT MUST BE DONE BY THE CHILD"S PEERS. Plan to meet weekly with your team. Plan to visit your child's classroom a twice a week..keep your presence seen and known...you want to SEE what is going on. On self-esteem, since I am not familiar with your envirnoment, I can only provide guidance. Create activities, events and opportunites for your child to be successful. The more successful the child feels at controling her life; the more self-accomplishments achieved; the more self-esteem. Create reward systems if possible. Have her do painting from a hobby store, some individual craft to start off. Make SURE the her school TEACHER has a protocol for your child to be successful. Suggest to your teacher she might show a little of the movie "The ELEPHANT MAN" to help the children learn that it is NOT APPEARANCE THAT MATTERS, BUT WHAT IS IN A PERSON"S HEART AND MIND THAT MATTER MOST". GOOD LUCK.
Dr. Daniel J

Hi. I can probaly solve your daughters problem. I got picked on by people because I had problems with my legs at school. When somebody is making fun of you, they just do that to make themselves feel better. Just tell your daughter that no matter what people say, you are you and that is why you are special.

Hi, notice that your child is being pick on at the school because she has a birth defect,in my opinion as a parent i'll try to explain to your child first that she is beautiful,i guess she is friendly like you said,tell her that stand up for her self.Other kids only notice what their eyes want to see which is her in-difference from them. Make her feel special or teach her say nice words to those who pick on her when she encounter them. I think it will give her confidence and high self esteem. Good luck

I just finshed 7th grade at my school and kids can be very mean to kids of differnt extremes...i was made fun of because i was smart and got along with the teachers but also kids of my team who had a brith defect were made fun of and I stood up for them because thier self esteem was low. I sugest your daugter try standing up for other kids she sees being put down! It helped my self esteem and i made new friends! I hope I helped

Teacher Parent:

The consuler knows some of my daughter problems but I thing that regular meeting will helper more also I was thinking to talk more to the teacher about her fears

Thanks

Thank healtly 11 for taking the time give me that advise
My daugther is 12 years old she will be in 7th grade.
I try to take her to every extra activitiy but she does not want to be alone she always want me to stay there
with her. She will start a class for modeling and etiqueta in Ecuador where she is on vacation with grantma hope this will elevate her self steam.
Thanks.

HI. I'm wondering how old your daughter is/what grade? What kinds of things does she enjoy doing for fun? It seems like she may benefit from increasing her participation in those extracurricular activities, and developing more friendships there, so that they can "transfer" to her school setting....For example, if she got involved in Scouting, or maybe art or music programs, she might meet other girls who also share those interests. If a couple of those kids are in her class, she would then be able to pal around with them and perhaps not pay as much attention to the mean classmate, because she would know she has other friends.

Your daughter's school should make an extra effort for her and for any student who has a special challenge as does your daughter. The school's guidance counselor should meet with her on a regular basis. Her teachers should be made aware of how your daughter feels and should reach out to her.

You might also give a call to the Cleft Palate organization - there might be support groups in your area and you could speak with other parents whose children have the same challenge.
1-800-24-CLEFT