How can I get my pre-teen to focus more in school and not girls??

The question of academics and grades do not have to involve his natural need for friendship and validation from his peers. His popularity does NOT have to preclude him from academic success. I would ignore the popularity factor and simply state the expectations regarding academics and grades. He is expected by you to maintain certain grade levels (or whatever measurement you use to determine his success) and you can discuss with him strategies for maintaining that level if he feels he needs help figuring it out. But, let HIM run the discussion (with your leading questions, etc). Let HIM find the ways to get it done. His needs truly do include socialization and relationships. He needs it emotionally and developmentally. Don't make the mistake of forgetting to parent the whole child. He may not want to discuss strategies with you until he has fallen down and faces a consequence. Then you get your teaching moment to respectfully suggest he could try focusing differently for part of his school day. The point is to not only teach him how to succeed academically but also how to solve problems and succeed in life. To that end, this must be HIS experience and his success. The long term ramifications of shoving a kid into our own solutions include disempowerment and a lack of responsibility for outcomes. These qualities can be extremely limiting as he attempts to succeed later in life. Nurture him, don't punish him. Make sure there are clear and logical consequences and rewards. Maybe in an appropriate moment --even a manufactured "accidental" one--show him statistics and news about kids who suck at school vs kids who don't and how their lives turn out in the short term and the long term. Check out a series of books by Jane Nelsen called Positive Discipline (www.amazon.com/gp/product/076152181X?ie=UTF8&tag=inditouc-20&linkCode=xm2&creativeASIN=076152181X)
There is a specific book for teens. I found these books invaluable for parenting appropriately in this day and age. My gorgeous talented and funny rock musician 16 yo stepson has an ego that could go on for DAYS but he has seen what not succeeding in school does to your life. Many members of his family teach GED and literacy at the local community college. It can be an eye opener. Good luck. Remember to love him, too, and not just teach or parent him. Be proud! Your kid has succeeded in a way some adults still haven't: he is good at making friends and feeling good about his appearance. Those are valid business and success life skills. Imagine if your kid were like many, hating themselves and feeling like a reject. Celebrate his successes! :-) OK. I am off my soapbox, now.

You should sit your son down and say "Sweet heart, I know that you are becoming a teenager, but now is not the time to focus on girls. You really need to focus on your school work. You know why? Well it's because you need to learn to survive in this world really, and I bet you don't want to be stuck in Summer School for most of your summer do you? Then you can't sit at home and be lazy, go over to friends. And you should also know that your looks and popularity aren't everything! It's who you really are on the inside, that's what matters the most. I love you." Then gently kiss him on the forehead. I hope this helps!

i am having the same problem with my 13-year old soon to be 8th grader who has been in a public middle/high school setting since 6th grade. during 7th grade his grades dropped,although, having a cell phone didnt help. now this summer his father and i have been struggling with changing schools since his previous school also had discipline issues and im not sure if his teachers cared enough to notice he went from an a/b student to d's and e's. please help me also!

If your charter schools are smaller than your public school that can sometimes help the struggling student. In any smaller school, a student can get more attention from their teachers and sometimes a student will feel more connected to the school when it's a smaller one.

He could always switch back but it might be good to take a tour of the charter schools before you switch him. It might also be good to speak with some of his current teachers to try to find out what the problem is - is it just a lack of focus?
Often it's more than that. How are your son's reading skills? Students with weaker reading skills can sometimes just make it through elementary school but can't make it through Middle School where there are more textbooks, more reading and less help from teachers. Weak reading skills can make any school - public, private or charter - hard.
It's wonderful that your son has such a way with people and that the girls find him charming - that can go a long way toward keeping up his self-esteem. I'm sure he'll be as popular in any school you send him to - good luck with your decision.