Hey is the issue I am seeing. A good private school teaches how to deal with conflict in a a positive way. How to be a product person without fighting. At the same time knowing what to do in a conflict or fight situation. A good private school also has community involvement. This teaches them about the "real world". It also allows kids to "own" their school, allowing them to be involved in some of the decision making for the school. This teaches them responsibility and gives them a sense of pride. In short, the more of these things that the school has the better prepared your child will be.

If you want to put your child around public school children, I suggest the boys and girls club after school. They have children from all educational backgrounds...private, public, home schooled. And the kids say it's a lot of fun.

I feek the same as you and have 2 daughters graduated college and one teenager now haaave enrolled him in private but have changed my mind they seem so sad there and are not allowed to be themselves maybe look into montessouri or academy for her my children doing great

Yeah, there are some good points here. If you involve your kids in community based sports or classes or events, take them to local parks, they get good exposure to whatever your community has to offer. A good private school also helps kids learn about the "real" world. I lived your fear. I went to a private school from 1-9 grade, and didn't really have any schoolmates that lived near me. It was compounded by having a shy mother who didn't take me to parks or other places where I could meet other kids. School didn't really prepare us for life in public high school. Got to public high school in 10th grade and lost my mind! But I got it together by college. Don't worry so much about "rough and tough" but just make sure she has opportunities to learn about the world both in school and outside of it.

I'm honestly a little perplexed by this question. I attended private/Catholic schools, and my children have also attended private schools in two different states. Before picking their schools, I visited a lot of schools. I think nearly every school I visited promoted the fact that they teach leadership--the ability to go against the crowd if needed. I honestly cannot think of anyone I went to school with that I would consider "meek." They certainly can stand their ground, and many of my former private school friends have influential positions in life now. I really don't think parents would pay for a school that would make their children pushovers who can't think for themselves. However, I guess some kids may not be considered "rough and tough." Private schools are able to kick out kids who have violent or aggressive tendencies, so maybe some private school kids may not learn to fight. I wouldn't think though that would be a desirable trait, regardless of the school. I think what people may be trying to tell you is that they are concerned that the lack of diversity in some private schools may affect a child's ability to function in the "real" world. That's a different issue though.

I am a big fan of catholic schools as well. I love that you mentioned empathy. That is the integration of values being taught in catholic school. When we went to the open house we were totally impressed by the 8th graders, so respectful and kind.

In spite of the large class size, I feel my daughter learned more effectively and came away with some awesome study and social skills after this year of catholic school. The fact that the curriculum is online and alligned with state standards and archdiocese guidelines also ensures portability.

udithi2008:

You have received some great suggestions here. You may also want to check out your local YMCA for summer day camp. The YMCA may offer different programs for children your daughter's age, such as half-day camp, if you don't want her to spend her entire day there.

You can also check out a Boys & Girls Club, if you have one in your area. Also, there may be activities through your local Parks & Recreation.

My daughter attended private Catholic schools all her life. She was fortunate to attend the same school from Kinder through 8th grade, and then the same high school for 9th through 12th grade.

One of the things I liked about the religious schools was, the kids were strongly encouraged to use their empathy skills. I think this is where people tend to think kids from private religious schools are not "rough and tough."

On the other hand, my son has attended public school since Kindergarten, and he just finished 7th grade. I wouldn't consider my son to be "rough and tough," but he has been exposed to a lot of less empathetic kids. He's learning how to make friends and deal with less than desirable situations when they come up. Of course, I've been watchful and will do what I can to nip problems in the bud should they happen.

Good luck with your daughter's new school.

Knowing you have made the right choice requires constant vigilance. Regarding the quality of a private school, start at the top. Get an idea from the parents about the quality and effectiveness of the principal, and how long the person has been there. If the head of school is new, the school is in a transition, which is not necessarily a bad thing but it could be stressful.

Check the teacher's credentials if you can. If they will not supply you with that information, it may be a red flag. However, and some may not agree with me on this, a credential qualifies a teacher to teach within the public school system. A masters in education with years of teaching experience may be more common in private schools and from my observation, just as good. At my daughter's present school all the teachers have masters degrees or are finishing them. Basically, the quality of the leadership and teachers determines the schools quality.

Independent schools are for profit while parrochial schools are subsidized by their church. So, if you have an active church community, chances are the school is well funded. Independent schools tend to do more of the big fundraisers and you can be sure that the amount your family donates is noticed.

Of course make sure the school is accredited. WASC is the best one to get but there are many good schools with a CAIS or NAIS accreditation.

Look at the reviews here on your school though their impartiality is in question these days.

Asking for test scores may be helpful, but private schools don't do the same type of testing as public schools. Personally I don't like the reliance on testing since it can be culturally biased and frankly some bright students don't test well.

Stay informed of state standards and make sure your school is meeting them. This is a must!

I know this sounds like a lot, but mainly go with your gut, at an open house talk to all the teachers and this will help you. Just because you have your kids at a private school it does not mean they will always be ahead in all subjects. The private school has a smaller student body and usually likeminded parents.

Hope this helps, good luck!

It can depend somewhat on what private school you choose - you can find some of real life in some private schools. I took my sons from public school and put them into private school where there was diversity as there was no real life diversity in our public school. If we assume that public school is roughly representative of real life - I'm not sure that's always so.
And some private schools offer generous and even full scholarships - my sons met up with students in their private school who came from very disadvantaged backgrounds - very rough and tough I'm suppose. And there were some teachers who were - sadly - very rough in the private school. In fact, I'd have to say there were some teachers in the private school who seemed to be on a certain mission to toughen their private school students.
But certainly if you want connections with your local community putting your daughter into community organizations like Girl Scouts should do that. My sons played Little League in the neighborhood and stayed in the local soccer league so they'd have friends in the neighborhood.

thank you summer program was a great idea , can you please share any ideas on how to do your homework so you can be assured that you have made the right choice

My daughter has always attended private school. One thing to consider is that not all private schools are equal and you really need to do your homework to make sure it is and remains a good fit for your child's learning style.

Also, private schools do close occasionally. My daughter just finished 3rd grade and is now in her third school. The first two schools have now closed, so keep your eyes and ears open.

Girl scouts is a terrific program, I would enroll her in a troop with kids outside her school if you can.

Summer is a good long break from the school environment and a good opportunity to have your child experience something new. I live in the LA area and there is a local university that has academic and sports programs. Several hundred kids attend and it gives my daughter exposure to a great diversity of ideas and personalities. She enjoys it and comes away from the experience with a lot of first hand knowledge of how to deal with many situations, all in a safe environment.

Also, a private school has its own challenges and social learning opportunities. She may not be as sheltered as you think.

Good luck with the new school!