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lateasley June 10, 2009

How to deal with a 4 &1/2 yr old whose potty trained but still needs a pullup at bed time?

My daughter has been potty trained since the age of 2 but she still needs a pullup at bed time. How do I tackle this becasue pullups are too expensive and the quantity of them goes down as the weight and age goes up. Help!

Parent Answers to "How to deal with a 4 &1/2 yr old whose potty trained but still needs a pullup at bed time?"

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Ok - you probably have your daughter completely potty trained but I will offer my experiences as well - worked with all 4 of my children.
First - like the other post, limit the amount of liquids 1 hour before bedtime. No sippy cups while sleeping either.
Second - Take her to the potty one hour before and then again before tucking her in to bed.
Third - if you wake up to go to the bathroom, go pick her up and put her on the potty.
fourth - if you hear her tossing and turning or mumbling/moaning in her sleep, go take her to the potty. (my oldest daugher was like this)
Fifth - we have pads on the bed - like in another post - the medical supply ones like the hospitals have - or you can get one (that is crib mattress size) from babies r us - this covers more of a twin bed than the medical ones.
LAST - use the pull ups while you are doing 1-5. When she starts waking up with a dry pull up, then try regular underwear.
Or you can ask her if she feels ready to try regular underwear (but do this after implementing 1-5).
This helps with their self esteem and enpowers them to feel like they are accomplising something. That they did it.
PS - sometimes the children stay asleep while you are taking them to the potty in the middle of the night. Once she is used to this happening and is more alert, you can wake her up to go to the potty on her own.
Hope this helps you!

Oh, yes, and my main point I wanted to make was that by keeping a daily diary of accidents, successes and dry times, you will have a better idea what your child's natural pattern is...which will make potty training easier and more successful in the long run.

I would just like to second what someone said about potty training too early. It can be devastating to a child psychologically if you push to potty train before they are ready. If your child is aware of when they are wet, discomforted by it, capable of changing or assisting with changing themselves and capable of controlling their bodily functions to a certain extent, then they are probably ready. However if any of these things are missing, you may be better off waiting.

Using mattress and sheet protectors (incontinence pads), involving your child in the glory and work of potty training and recognizing that development happens on its own schedule, not necessarily yours (and not necessarily a result of pure will power) will help you and your child to tackle this milestone in life and give you both a greater sense of accomplishment, self-respect and appreciation for the efforts you both put into life.

You can try to limit fluid intake. Such as if the child goes to bed at 8pm no liquids after like 6:30 pm. But if the child is thirsty, trust that she will find a time when you're not looking to get a drink. Another thing you can try is waking her up to use the bathroom...maybe she just sleeps to heavy to wake herself up. If you can narrow down what time she usually wets herself..you can go in before she does it and wake her up. If you're going to do this, try to stick to the same time every night. Eventually her body will get used to waking up at that time.

My two older kids were potty trained at the age of 2 amd I plan on potty training my baby at the same time. It is normal for kids to have accidents that is why it is called potty training. When my kids would have accidetns at night I would wake them up have them help me pull the sheets off the bed and by the way we had a mattress pad it worked great no leaks on the actual mattress I learned that after two kids(LOL) then I have the kids get in the tub for a quick rinse and boy they hated it because it was the middle of the night but I would tell them If i have to get up to clean you, you have to get up to be cleaned. Potty training in my hous for my older boy at age two took about a good 2 weeks, potty training for my middle child at age two took about 3 weeks. and just to let you know my third son is stubborn! I would recommend getting a mattress pad, depending on the size of the bed they shouldn't be that bad in price. no water, wake her up regularly to go tinkle. and remind her what do to do every night befor bed. My son %yr old before bed he will lay down then say ohhh I for got to go to the bathroom and he gets up goes.

I forgot! WE did a lot of laundry for 1st son! LOL

Finally bought "Piddle Pads" heavy thick pads to go ontop/under his sheets. We found them at thrift stores/online and at medical supply stores. The kind hospitals use for this type of situation.

Other than that use the heavy potty training underwear. Laundry vs. pullups you choose!

We even bought my dad some! LOL (The old man has a "Bag" he wears to bed and has LEAKS/BLOWOUTS!)

Immature/small bladder. YOU potty trained her too soon! You should have waited another year or longer for her body/bladder to mature.

Pushing/forcing a child to be potty trained too soon has consequences such as what you are experiencing.

Buy cheaper pull-ups. Don't let her drink ANYTHING an hour or two before bedtime. Have her go potty just right BEFORE bed. Wake her up in the middle of the night to go potty?

My first son was in pull-ups until he was 10/12. We FORCED potty training when he was 3. 2nd son we waiting until he was 4 to potty train. He was in pullups until 5/6.

GOOD LUCK! (Each child is different!)

I put a pull up on over panties at night when my girls were potty training at night...it helped and if they had an accident they would feel wet, but did not make a mess!!

I don't have much more to add except if restricting fluids 1 hour prior to bedtime does not work, you can try backing up the time up to 3 hours before bedtime. Our son cannot drink ANYTHING 3 hours before bedtime or an accident will happen.

We have used the alarm mentioned. There are several types...some with sound, some vibration, some both. They are not recommended for children under 4.

We also have our son brush his teeth and take a shower right before bed as part of his routine and because water itself can stimulate the body to purge. So we reinforce emptying his bladder before bed to the greatest extent possible.

We do make our son responsible for helping clean up the mess when an accident does occur, but never make a big deal about it. If he stays dry all night, we tell him how wonderful it is that he was able to stay dry all night. If he has an accident, we simply start the routine of cleaning up. No shame, no punishment, but acknowledgment that there is a downside...the clean up.

Does your child snore? Our niece, we found out after several unsuccessful years, had sleep apnea which made her such a deep sleeper that she wouldn't wake up to go to the bathroom. After treating her sleep apnea and re-training her sleep habits with an alarm, she hasn't had an accident since.

Wow! thanks for all the advice and healthy11, you have some valid points. Thanks! I will have to try the alarm. Reward is key as well. Im off this week and she home with me so I have been trying the no fluids an hr before bed time and waking her up a couple hrs after she is asleep. I think the alarm may be an alternative. Thanks again to ALL who have responded. If there is anyone else who may have some other ideas well i am all ears. I welcome anything at this point.

I have three boys and what worked for me is if your child/children have a set time to go to sleep :example at 8:00 then stop all in fluid in take at 7:00 then remind him right before bed to go to the bathrool he may say no he dosen't have to go but have him/her go and try you'd be suprised at how many times they don't have to go but when made to go something comes out.(hahah) Also, when ever you the parents are ready to go to bed go to your childs room and wake him/her up and walk them to the bathroom and have them go again. This is alot of work waking the kids up but after awhile it just becomes a routine. The important thing is you have to not give them anything to drink 1 hr before bed so they can sleep with an empty bladder. I have dones this with so far both the boys my youngest little guy will go through this as well when it is time. Good luck to you all and hang in there, although we are all potty trained it seems like us as parents are still in training HAHAHA!

My son is seven in three weeks and he is just starting to conquer bedtime accidents. We tried taking him to the bathroom ourselves, pull ups, making him get up and change his own sheets, restricting fluids etc., Nothing worked for our son and as you stated pull ups are expensive! My son is a DEEP sleeper which also affected his ability to respond to his full bladder at night.

After researching the Internet for yet another idea I found a bed wetting website. Long story short we found a product called the Malem Alarm. I am recommending this simply because it was what worked after everything else failed. We penned the alarm high up on his shoulder and there's a short cord (there are different types of alarms for different needs) that attached to the front of his underwear. When the senor attached to his underwear sensed wetness the alarm would go off and would wake my son up. We would come into his room and say "J your peeing on yourself put your feet on the floor and go to the bathroom." We had a progress chart and for us the alarm really worked he's steadily getting the hang of this nighttime issue.

It's important to remember that no child wants to wet the bed. Reward your child on the nights they are dry and comfort (not punish) them on the nights when they aren't so successful.

I realize it's difficult for any of us to know enough about an individual child to be sure our advice will or won't be useful, but I've heard of situations where incentives can "backfire." If the child is a perfectionist, who really WANTS to earn the prize, but physically can't do what's required, the child may start to feel even worse about her inability to stay dry all night, and start to have other self-esteem or anxiety issues. lateasley hasn't really said how her daughter feels, but I've heard of kids starting to have sleep-overs, and no matter how much a child "wants" to participate (which is a HUGE incentive) they may not be comfortable wearing pull-ups or spending the night when they fear an accident will happen.

Yes, healthy11, I did read the responses and I qualified my response by saying "this may not be the best advice."
In my experience, incentives work for many different reasons and for many different problems with this age group. There's nothing wrong with offering different types of advice!

tj, did you have a chance to read the prior responses? Since her daughter is able to control her actions during the day when she's awake, it's not a matter of "willfully refusing" to do it at night, so incentives like stickers probably won't help... Chances are, there's a biological reason, such as her daughter being a sound sleeper...
If there's a remote possibility her daughter is "afraid" to get up at night and use the bathroom since the house is darker, she could use plenty of nightlights, and even leave a potty chair in the bedroom, so her daughter doesn't have to wander around.

OK- I'm in the beginning stages of potty training my daughter so this may not be great advice but, what about an incentive? Stickers or stamps or something she loves if she makes it through the night.
Keep us posted- I'm curious to hear what works myself!

Thanks for all of the advice. I have started to wake her up a couple of hours after she has gone to bed. I will try tonight and not put a pull-up on and put the waterproof padding underneath. I have talked with her pediatrician and she says not to worry about it and that she will grow out of it. I cannot wait because I am running out of pull-up money. (ha-ha). Thanks for all of the great advice. Wish me luck!

My sons wet the bed sometime until they were .... 8,even 9. We did as the other posters have suggested - we woke them both up and took them to the bathroom when we went to bed - around 11, 11:30 - that helped a lot. They still sometimes had accidents - we never used pull-ups. On top of the mattress I put a vinyl cover that could be rinsed off and we had old bath towels around that could be washed and we put those under the sheet.
Not drinking after dinner and waking them up to go to the bathroom again late at night helped the most. Eventually their bladders mature and their sleep patterns too - young children can sleep so soundly that they just don't feel their need to go in their sleep.

Some kids bladders just don't develop as quickly as others. My son wet the bed on and off until he was eight. We tried all of the suggestions. Taking him to the bathroom when we I went to bed around 10:00 and getting him up when his dad got up at 4:00 am, restricting fluids after dinner, etc - he would still have accidents. As time went by they became less frequent and we noticed that they would mostly happen if he was getting sick - now we had a sick alarm which left us waiting for symptoms because it didn't matter if it were the stomach flu or strep or a cold. Anyway, he eventually outgrew it. We had long quit the pull-ups (around 3 1/2, I think) and went to using a waterproof mattress pad (you can actually layer bottom sheets/mattress pads for a quick late night change!) When he was eight, he got sick several times with no wet warning and has had no problems since.

Have you talked to your daughter's pediatrician? Many kids are very sound sleepers, and don't wake up even if their bladders are full. Besides the practical things, which are to restrict fluid intake in the hour or two before bedtime, and making sure your daughter uses the bathroom before going to sleep, you could try waking her before you turn in, to use the toilet again (ie, if she goes to bed at 8 p.m., wake her before you go to bed at 11:30....) There are also alarms that some people buy, to wake a child at the first sign of wetness....
You might also want to post your question in the preschool parents group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11534

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.

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How to deal with a 4 &1/2 yr old whose potty trained but still needs a pullup at bed time?

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