First get your self balanced when a mom is not together children will pick-up on that and use it.So first breath it will be OK.Now make yourself a schedule and stick to it.For my kids we use the sit called Handipoints.com.
Parents create task charts and goals with their children. When a task is completed the child checks it off and at the end of the week when their goals are met then they are reward. It works cause it makes them feel BIG. Good luck