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nikkirtst May 20, 2009

My son is an only, as am I, and he is so sensitive to being teased. Any advice?

nikkirtst
We have tried explaining to him that the more he shows that something bothers him, the more the kids will tease him. He is now 9 and running home crying to Mommy isn't helping out any. It hurts me to see him go through this,
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Parent Answers to "My son is an only, as am I, and he is so sensitive to being teased. Any advice?"

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Where does this teasing happen? Yes, we all need to develop some thick skin to get through life and your son's reactions are too strong but - where are the teachers in this? Teachers should not tolerate teasing. Teasing is a kind of bullying - that your son is overly sensitive likely earns him extra attention from these emotional bullies and you should work with him on that but - where are the teachers? The bullies need to be worked with too.
His classroom teacher for even the rest of this year as well as next year should issue a 'no teasing 'round here' rule. Teasing doesn't make for a good school day for anyone - the teased child or the bully child who's learning that it's ok to tease another child. Indeed, that your son overreacts is what should make the other children STOP teasing him.
Their teacher needs to explain to them all that we all react differently and some of us react strongly. Just as we are all learning how best to be - and it's best to respond thoughtfully when someone says something mean - it's even better for us to be a school community where no one says mean things. "Whatever do you mean, Billy, by saying these things to Jon? Do I speak that way to you? What's your point? To torment Jon? Why?"

We need to never bully bullies -that doesn't help - but we can and should make them squirm a bit. I don't disagree - it would certainly help your son to learn these hurtful words are only words that only hurt as much as he lets them. But your son and every other sensitive child will only learn those lessons when they feel safe and supported by their teacher(s) as well as by their parents. These teasing children should not be given the opportunity to ride roughshod over your sensitive son. His response to it is not helpful but the first thing that's gone wrong here are the other children and the teachers that allow their teasing.
iluvagaupt
iluvagaupt May 26, 2009
I don't know about being an only child. I come from a big family. We either had to roll with the punches or get left out. I endured lots of torture being the youngest. I think maybe a self defense class like Karate will help build self-esteem and confidence. I think his new confidence will show and it will give him pride and encouragement. Maybe a team sport or club. This may help him get some friends his age and a sense of belonging with his peers.
rjmorgan
rjmorgan May 26, 2009
Have him start a karate school, like Progressive Martial Arts, that works with kids and self confidence.

Involve him in activities, sports, things he can enjoy and do with other kids.

Things that help a kids self esteem and confidence and feelings of acceptance by other kids and then he won't really care about a few kids that tease him now, when they could become meaningless by the end of the summer.
tjlove
GreatSchools Staff tjlove May 21, 2009
It sounds like he needs some strategies to help him deal with the teasing. Here are some links to some GreatSchools articles that might help you:
Books About Bullying: www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/563

What parents can do about bullying: www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/2697

And here is a link to all the articles that came up when I searched "bullying." Hopefully some of these will prove helpful.
www.greatschools.net/search/search.page?search_type=0&q=bullying&state=MN&x=0&y=0&c=topic
nikkirtst
nikkirtst May 21, 2009
he is definately oversensitive due to being an only
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Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.

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