Bullying in elementary school...parents & teachers, need your opinions & stories! Let's make a difference!

I think putting emphasis and believing in community is not too idealistic - I think it's realistic. But sadly communities aren't the close knit places they perhaps once were. I live in a small community but opinions vary widely and feelings run strong when it comes to issues like bullying.
I'm not sure that it's schools don't want to be bothered - though I rarely defend schools and I don't want to seem to be doing that now. Someone gets angry every single time a school takes action - Americans are not a quiet, laid-back people - we speak our minds and any action taken by a school is almost always met with angry opposition from somebody. Principals feel d---ed if they do and d---ed if they don't.
Few people these days want schools taking real authority over their children - and I don't mean that as a criticism - it's an observation. Years ago if a principal or teacher called home and reported bad behavior, parents turned with fury on their children (not that that was necessarily the best response) but nowadays let a teacher or principal call home with a report of bad behavior, parents can turn with fury on the teacher or principal.

We've become an even more outspoken society that ever before and - I think - an angry society. So many people live on the edge of anger and a phone call home from school can release a lot of anger on the person making that call.
So schools have been backing off those phone calls. You're a teacher - you've likely noticed the same. And the problem of bullying by teachers to students is one that has long gone unaddressed.

I think - schools aren't communities anymore. Some schools are just too large to be able to feel like a community. And our communities have unravelled in these modern times and schools along with it. I found a much greater sense of community in the charter schools - not that they are perfect places - but they are places that families have actively chosen to have their child at and they are schools that can expel students who don't conform to the school community's rules.

Our experiences as teachers may be different - in mine the educational programs you speak of usually have a surface impact that doesn't last. It's usually delivered in an assembly and the homeroom teachers read something aloud to students in the morning.
I think to rid a school of bullying it needs to be a total change - perhaps a bigger change that any larger school is capable of managing.

I'm too idealistic too - I envision a way of doing school that would have students looking forward to going to school every day - I'd like to see some schools that would work to have a positive tone - be positive in their approach to the school day, be positive - and kind whenver possible - to students and to be optimistic about the future. So many middle and high schools have a rather 'doom and gloom' outlook - they feel almost under siege it seems.

But sadly I'm not too optimistic that any real change is coming soon but I'd Love to be wrong about that.
Much good luck with your endeavors and I hope you'll let us know how it goes.

TeacherParent: Thank you for your apology, and I too, apologize as well. It's a frustrating issue when the school itself doesn't seem to want to be bothered.

I always look toward the bigger picture (an educational program), rather than band-aide affects (time-out) that do not work on the real problem.

It's difficult when you teach your children kindness and respect at home, they learn it in preschool, then when they get to public school, it seems your fighting an uphill battle b/c, unfortunatey, not all homes have kindness and respect. I worry for those kids too. They need to learn those skills in life...somewhere?

I belive in community. And being a part of a community to me is about helping not only my children, but the community of children to grow and prosper into good people.

Maybe i'm too idealic, too optomistic?

As a parent of a daughter who has been a victim of bullying (especially relational aggression) I found TeacherParent's posted stories, opinions, etc. regarding bullying to be right on target. Of particular value is where she points out, "For a school to be bully free, the school must create a culture of healthy respect and of peaceful respect and it must begin at the top." My daughter's middle school has an anti-bullying policy in place and also brings in a speaker who runs an anti-bullying program. That alone is not enough. The policy needs to be enforced by the school consistently, and the program needs to be embraced by all the students. Needless to say, bullying still goes on. Without all factions (administrators, teachers, staff, parents and children) on board, the school climate will not change. The more people that you can get involved, the better your chances of making changes will be.

Absolutely. Of course a concerned parent should be able to raise their voice in their child's school and that you have people on the School Board who are getting together with you to work on the issue sounds interesting and likely promising.
I misread your post - many many apologies. I didn't realize you were looking for stories of specific bullying from other schools - I'm sure such stories sadly abound. I thought somehow it was possible solutions or other experiences with bullying at the school level that was asked for.
Again, many apologies. The stories I have of bullying would involve students at my school and I would hesitate to share them as they are other people's children, not mine, but sadly as I said - my school too became a school where bullying started to happen. I can say it causes depression in the child who's bullied even when the bullying is only emotional and not physical but I'm sure others have said the same before me.
I still like The Peaceable Classroom and her ideas on teaching kindness but it's true she never intended that program to be fun. I will keep my eye out for a fun anti-bullying program. Much good luck with your good work on this serious issue.