I hope at some point, attention can be paid to - "what can I do differently the next time this happens"? I say this because both students would benefit from resolution to this problem. It would be good - if the two could apologize ( for poor behavior) and move forward! Hopefully, in time, this will happen!
Good Luck!
Trooper

Thank you for your reply! You seem to read and understand why post much better than the first poster. I have feeling that they are in school administration or a teacher.

I never blamed the girl. I think you misinterpreted what I said. My point is that I think the school handled it poorly. I agree with the lessons that my son needs to take from this but I also think there should be some sort of accountability for the principal.

Regardless of who started what-it takes two people to argue. To blame the incident on the girl is tantamount to saying your son lacks the capacity for free will or intelligent thought. Your son could have ended it. He chose not to.
Perhaps the principal and superintendant feel only your son's actions merit dimissal from the team. Perhaps past records are considered or her punishment took another form. Whatever the reason-the school's obligation is each child's privacy. You can't expect the school to make another students disciplinary records public.
Why this is an issue for you? Do you want the girl punished out of fairness or revenge? Inflicting the same humilitation your son suffered will not exonerate him. Her dismissal won't be his vindication.
Focus your energy on your son, teaching him appropriate behavior, choices, responsibility, and personal accountability. Children need to learn consequenses. Your unwillingness to acknowledge his responsibility without blaming others is setting a poor example. By first blaming the girl and then being preoccupied by her punishment, you're sending a signal that not only was this incident not his fault but he's not responsible for his own actions. The messages are clear; "he was forced" by another's actions, since she isn't being punished, he shouldn't be held accountable and any punishment is only unfair persecution. Children need to learn they don't have to be victims, they have power in their choices and those choices have consequences. Stop worrying about who is more at fault and whose punishment is fair or unfair. Be concerned only with your son. Isn't it more desirable for him to learn personal accountability now when the punishment is relatively minor, as compared to later in life when consequences have potential be more severe? This was relatively painless; your son didn't need a lawyer, he wasn't denied a home loan or terminated from a job. Allow him the opportunity to benefit from this situation now and he'll be a better person for it later.

Most important is that your son understand his role in receiving the consequence. That lesson cannot be lost in focusing on the unfortunate follow-up displayed by the principal in dealing with the other person. Not knowing the details of the situation makes it difficult to speculate as to the reasons behind the principal's actions. Sometimes life is unfair. That is a simple fact of life. Let's face it, if you go to traffic court, two people who committed the same violation can receive different verdicts. It might be worth your while to try to consider letting go of monitoring the principal's handling of this girl in the incident. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person. It might be helpful to focus on how the principal handled your son. If you feel that the consequence was an appropriate response to your son's actions ,then let it stand. Too often, kids get caught up in comparisons with others and they lose the insight of their ownership in a situation. I am not trying to say the principal is right . I am saying that greatest lesson learned here is for your son to acknowledge his mistakes, take the consequence, and move forward. And, he, unlike the other person, can hold his head high. I am so proud that you were able to accept the fact that your child violated a rule. By holding him responsible as you have, you are not only teaching him values, you are demonstrating them.
In the bigger picture of life, your son is the winner. Individuals whose behavior is simply excused or ignored, grow up with a false sense of reality - and often end up being professional victims. You and your son can move forward - however, the principal, and the other student have to live with this hanging over their heads.
I hope your son is soon off and running again!
Best of luck to the both of you!
Trooper