My teen love to talk back and give me a hard time when I ask for him to do stuff. What can i do?

I'm sorry to hear about your brother-in-law's passing. I hope you don't mind my asking, but does your son also have learning or attentional challenges? Most kids who are 14 are already in 8th or 9th grade. Your son may also feel "different" than most of the rest of his classmates, because he's probably entering puberty, while a lot of the other boys haven't. It's got to be hard for him if he doesn't feel like he's got many good friends at school or any male adult to confide in... Can your brother spend time with your son on a more "regular" basis? While the first counselor you took your son to didn't seem to help, maybe you can find a male counselor who could make a difference?

my son is 14 and in 7th grade. I have taken him to talk to a counselor but i guess that did not help. My brother in law passed little over a year and he was very close to him./ I didnt allow him to got due to the funeral was in indiana. I believe that he is holding it against me. My brother is also close to him and he has talked with him about respecting me. My son hears the talk but forgets it after it is over/

Hi. How old is your son/what grade? There's a big difference between a 13 and 17 year old, so it helps to know. Has he been acting rudely for quite awhile? Do you think your son is involved with drugs or other substance abuse?
It sounds like you may be a single parent. It's difficult for many adolescents (who, by their nature, test limits of authority) to be close to their parents, but adolescent boys really seem to benefit by having a male adult/mentor involved in their lives. If your son doesn't have a good relationship with his father, or his father isn't a good role model, is there anyone else (uncle, grandfather, pastor, etc) who might have a talk with your son about being respectful to you? Maybe you could ask your son's school counselor for a referral to a family counseling center where you both might be able to learn better ways of communication with each other again.