Ad
failuremom March 27, 2009

how to get my child to go to school like she needs to. she's 15 yrs. old?

failuremom
Answer this question

Parent Answers to "how to get my child to go to school like she needs to. she's 15 yrs. old?"

RSS View 6 answers: Newest-Oldest, Oldest-Newest
Display fewer answers
dipaquette
dipaquette April 1, 2009
First go and talk to her counselor. See if she sees any reason why your daughter doesn't' want to attend to school. If that doesn't' pan out well, enroll her in a academy or a charter school. Some go for a couple of hours a day and are able to do the homework at home and turn it in at the end of the week. If you don't do it the school will suspend her and eventually she will need to go a school where they send kids who get in trouble or just want to quit. Check out whats available in your district. Take some her privileges away, that might help.
sesparza
sesparza April 1, 2009
I think u should sit down with her and let her tell you as a friend and a mother whats the reason she doesn't want to go to school. Girls that age is so hard to believe how important is to go to school but explain to her the advantages of a young girl to stay in school. I will suggest you to change your work schedule and try to take her to school every day and talk to the counselor of the school and let her know that you are aware of every little move she does.
pgcsdad
pgcsdad March 31, 2009
TRY TO FIND OUT WHY YOU CHILD REFUSES TO GO TO SCHOOL. THERE ARE ALWAYS CLASSES THAT CAN BE CHANGED. DO NOT ALLOW A TEACHER OR A COUNSELOR TO TELL YOU THAT CHANGES CANNOT BE MADE IF YOU CHILD IS HAVING PROBLEMS IN A CERTAIN CLASS. YOU CAN GO TO THE PRINCIPLE AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK GO TO THE SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT. AND IF YOU CHILD REFUSES TO GO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE HE/SHE IS SPOILED THEN TAKE AWAY WHAT HE OR SHE DOES AT HOME. YOU MUST TEACH YOUR CHILD WHAT ITS LIKE WHEN A PERSON HAS NO MONEY. YOU NEED TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILD, AND MAYBE SOME NURTURING. IF YOU MUST YOU HAVE TO GET INTO YOU CHILDS BUSSINESS TO FIND OUT WHAT IS HAPPENING. COULD SOMEONE BE BOTHERING YOUR CHILD, HAS YOUR CHILD BEEN MOLESTED ? HAS YOUR CHILD BEEN BULLIED OR EMBARASSED IN FRONT OF ALOT OF STUDENTS AT SCHOOL ? COULD YOUR CHILD BE IN DANGER IN SCHOOL ? THESE ARE THINGS YOU MUST LOOK INTO.
ALOT OF TIMES A CHILD MY FEEL AS IF THEY CANNOT CONFIDE IN A PARENT CAUSE THEY FEEL THIER PARENT WILL NOT BELIEVE THEM OR BLAME THEM. YOU HAVE TO BE ON YOUR CHILDS SIDE AND BELIEVE WHATEVER IS THE REASON FOR ANY POSITIVE THING TO COME OUT OF THIS, THEN YOU GO TAKE CARE OF IT. DO IT ALL WITH THE RIGHT SPIRIT. BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD.
Lalagirl
Lalagirl March 31, 2009
Many parents forget how hard it was at that age to deal with school, teachers, peer pressure and the list goes on. Now think for a moment how overwhelmed
you are feeling by this and magnify that for what your daughter must be feeling.

There may be many reasons she is not interested, (or afraid) to go to school. The possibility of failing could be one of the major reasons. I think it would be best to sit down and speak with her about why she does not, or feels she does not want to go to school.

Sometimes as parents we put to much importance on attending the school, instead of the many benefits the child is receiving from school.
TeacherParent
TeacherParent March 28, 2009
There can be many reasons that teenagers are reluctant to go to school - what are hers? To get her to go, she might need some help to contend with what's making her not want to go. Is she being bullied at school? Does she have friends there? Is the school a safe school and one students feel safe in?
I'd also wonder how's her overall health? Is she feeling well most days?
If the school is safe and if she has friends and isn't being bullied, the most common reason for kids not to want to go to school is that they feel school is too hard or too pointless. Has your daughter always disliked school or is it new to this year?
Some parents almost kick their child out the door in the morning or engage in a battle of wills that no one wins. My own son tried to refuse to go to school as a young child and when we looked into why that might be, we found that he had a severe problem with reading and school was a place that was making him feel dumb not smart. That wasn't a problem he could fix on his own.
I'm sure your daughter is very smart but it still be might be that there's a problem at school she can't fix on her own.
Good luck with this and I hope you'll let us know how it goes.
lockmama
lockmama March 27, 2009
Kids of 15 have a mind of their own and it can be very difficult to force them to do anything. Is your child going to school and then ditching classes or does she skip the effort of going to school altogether? If she goes to school and ditches classes with her friends, you might consider something as extreme as transferring her to another school. Maybe you take a couple of days off work to accompany her to her classes with the promise that your presence will continue as long as she seems to need it in order to get to class.

If she isn't going to school in the mornings at all, could you switch your schedule to drop her off at school in the morning? Does you daughter understand that if she misses too many classes she will need to take summer school? If she does end up in summer school, I would suggest you find a way to make her pay for it or to reimburse you if you have to front the money to get her into class. Since she is not yet driving, you might inform her you will not consent to her getting a driver's license when she is 16 if she does not attend school regularly.

I would also suggest speaking to the truant officer. They will likely have some good suggestions.

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.
Local Q&A is brand new! What do you think? Give us your feedback in our feedback forum.
AD

AD
Join the community or login
Join the community or
Read our community guidelines and FAQ
Community Moderator
Email the Community Moderator for help
tracker