Sycamore Hill of Independece MO is hurting my child. What can I do?

I really appreciate your responses. I am not giving up just getting frustrated with my dead ends. They do have a 0 tolerance but like you said it is up to the teacher to decide if this will be used. In his case they will not use it and have told us so. In my daughter's case of hitting him to get him to stop they will use it next time but did not enforce it this time. They also will not tell the other parents that this happened even to the two girls he has done this to. (He has put his hands down one of their pants.) I just feel so helpless. We even contacted the media because the school is doing nothing. They have not returned our calls. Not sure what to do next.

There are a lot of different issues here that you have to deal with...because of student confidentiality laws the school can jerk you around quite a bit in regards to this boy, especially if he is "classified." Has the teacher admitted to seeing what he did to your daughter? If she has, that will make things easier. You need to get a copy of the school's Code of Conduct (or whatever your school calls it.) I'm assuming your talking about a public school, which usually will have it available on their website. There will be different sections addressing how they can handle behavior of this type regarding all students, including children with disabilities. He can and should still be responsible for his behavior, they just have to follow procedures. There will also be information on how they deal with matters such as your daughter kicking him. Even if they have zero tolerance (as in, they don't care that it was self-defense) they usually have language in there that will allow them to use their judgement based on your child's usual good behavior. Your daughter has rights, too, insist on them. Personally, I would not let up on them over this...you have every right to be outraged over this and you deserve to know that you are sending your daughter to a safe place. Don't let them blow you off.

Unfortunately we have talked to the principal because the teacher told us that is who we had to talk to. (We believe she has been told not to discuss the matter). This has been brought to the attention of the principal and the superintendent. When I call the principal she does not return our calls. Finally after multiple attempts I spoke with the secretary and she relayed my concerns. Again I waited for a call back and did not receive one. I called at the end of the school day and was told the principal was in a meeting. I waited and she came on the phone telling me that "this is just the tip of the iceburg, he is in soo much trouble". She did not ellaborate. The next day my mother went to the school to follow up. Nothing had been done aside from moving the childs desk and my daughter to opposite ends of the classroom. However desk time is not when this is happening. My main concern is that the superintendent says my daughter will be the one punished if she hits or kicks him again even though his hands were in her shirt when she did it. So now she is being told she can't defend herself. Also, we have been told (without being told straight out) that he has some underlying issue ie. ADHD that keeps him from being responsible for what he is doing. Any ideas on what I can do?

Have you and the teacher been working on this problem together? Has the teacher witnessed what is happening and if so, how has the other child's behavior been addressed?