I would assume that you live around Lansing Michigan since were in the same community chat. I recommend the Harley Franks Early Childhood Center they have an early on program that is wonderful and will help with separation anxiety! It has only been open about 5 years and has wonderful teachers! :)

Since your daughter does have several cousins of similar age, she probably is learning many of the basic interaction skills that other children can only obtain from preschool, and from the sounds of it, you are doing a good job of exposing her to "early academic skills" like counting and knowing her name, letters, etc. In that sense, you might be able to wait another year in order to have her enter a "formal" preschool, but I wonder if it might not be a good "transition" for both you and her to do it now, regardless....

I know there are many different types of preschools, and my child, at age 3, went to a program through our church. (Their preschool programs were all half-day, either am. or pm, and 3-yr-old attended Tues. & Thurs., while 4-yr-olds attended half-days on Mon., Wed., & Fri.) It was just enough to give him and me a chance to get used to being apart, but it was nothing like a full-day, Mon. to Friday daycare situation. What I realized was that I needed a couple of hours to "gather my own thoughts," and I did end up scheduling my doctor and dentist and other appointments while my child was in class, and I even ended up taking an exercise class at the nearby YMCA. While it was "different" than I'd been used to, it was actually a good thing to do, for both my son and myself.

I do have a very good friend who had a healthy firstborn son, but whose daughter died 5 days after birth due to an inoperable heart condition. She sounded very much like you, afraid to let her oldest son out of sight after that. She did join a local support group, and saw a therapist, and it helped her family immensely. Nobody will ever know why her daughter's life was so short, just as your son's life was taken early, but their memories will never be forgotten. By that same token, it's important to realize that your other children have lives of their own, and they need to have opportunities like other children their age, to start to do things independently.

Thank you so much for responding! Maybe I do need to speak w/someone about my issue. As far as my daughter do you think 3 is to early for her to start preschool ? She is a very independent little girl. I try to let her make as many choices of her own for someone of her age. She has 4 cousins that come stay w/us almost evey weekend that are a little older than her, but is a great learning lesson for her as far as interacting,sharing,etc. And this fall my daughter and I are starting dance classes "Mommy and Me" w/ girls her age. She will be 3 in May and I am a stay at home mom so there is no reason for childcare but preschool is a big consideration, but is this fall to soon for her{yes for me} or can I keep her active w/dance,playdates and cousins for the next year and start her in preschool the following school year? As far as education I think we are on schedule she can count to 10,knows all her colors,says her full name,knows her phone #,etc. So preschool would mainly be for interacting. I thank you for taking the time w/me and my situation and I am sorry to ramble on so much,but it is nice to talk to someone that knows what they are talking about! Thanks again

I'm sorry to hear about your physical difficulties and the loss of your son. I have a feeling that your fears about preschool are compounded by what's happened in the past, and yet it's important for your daughter, as well as for you, that she starts to gain some independence and that she has more opportunity to interact with other children, and learn to listen to other adults. It may actually be an easier thing for her to do, because the "world of a child" is filled with new experiences and exploration, but your mind may be preoccupied with a sense of loss. Have you ever spoken to your doctor or church pastor about your worries? Some areas have support groups where parents who have lost children, either in miscarriage or in early infancy, can get counseling. I would urge you to speak with a professional, for your own sake as well as your daughter's.
For general questions, you might also like to join Greatschools Preschool Parents Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11534