What is shyness? In some cases is insecurity about our value to our peers. It translates into: "They probably don't want to hear about my own experience."
I think everyone experienced it at one point or another. The problem is how does the child experience his own shyness and in what context.
I used to think that "everyone" was watching me being a dope. Then I was told that most people had the same reaction and it helped a little bit.
The other option is to actively teach your child to reach out out of love, or if that is too much, an interest in communicating with another person. Remember 2 things: shyness is also a sign of self-centeredness, and children learn from what we do not so much what we say.
So, model the behaviour yourself and let the kid know what you're doing and the problems you're having with it.

I was a shy kid, but I outgrew it. It does help to let your son go to birthday parties of classmates, and any social activities going on at school. That helped my son a lot. Also, if he's at all into sports, the YMCA is invaluable for teaching team spirit, good sportsmanship and making new friends. Church is another place your son can make friends, especially when playing with other kids during a life group. It's a double benefit -- the life group feeds the adult spirit, and the playtime is good for the kids.

Have you tried to meet some of the other mom's from his class, you then schedule play dates. It also helps to be involved in classroom parties. That way you can see what is going on.

My son, grade 1 is the same.
We try to get some kids for a play-dates, they have good time, but then he doesn't fallow up on a friendship and we should start all over.
My son is also very proud, he hates to feel like a "looser" sitting on a bench alone and doing nothing. Luckily, he is very creative and he likes to draw. He takes his note book with him out in a recess and he draws. First, he is busy, second, some kids are curious on what he is doing and they approach him! They even ask to draw with him. So, he was able to pull
together a small group of kids who like to draw! And now (not exactly popular), but has a reputation of being creative. He also had a big following last year on making and decorating paper air planes.
Is there anything your son can do by himself what can arouse other kids curiosity? Anything what can put him in a spot light and help to make friends?
can you visit his school during a lunch brake and may be organize some game? Paper air planes were my husband's idea last year.

Some teachers are willing to give suggestions as to who might be good kids and possibly good playmates for your son - then asking that child over for a supervised and structured playdate - go minature golfing or take them to see a movie. That's a way to build friendships but start with a good-natured child in his class and then help the two boys to have a good time by structuring the time in a special way. That can leave the other child hoping to be invited back.
Are there groups for your son to join? Boy scouts? Group lessons he could take after school where he'd meet other children in a pleasantly structured environment? Other children in the neighborhood?

Is the teacher aware of your concerns? Certainly a good teacher if he has one should want to keep a special eye out for your son in school and help him to be included on the playground and to feel comfortable and included in the classroom.

Of all the imprecations and recommendations I made to my children throughout the years, I think they only heard a tiny 1%. You need to model how to be sociable for them, but you need to avoid the "comparison trap."
If they compare themselves to you (with all your experience) they feel that they're just not like you. Show them an easy example of how he/she can interact with someone else in a safe environment. That gives them a start, and a start is all they need.

Thank you mamachela and lieuemom for your advices. My daughter says that she is happy the way she is, I guess, I want her to be just like me, very sociable, but probably she got that from her dad. When I met him,we were just teenagers, he was my first boyfriend I had. He was worst than my daughter, each time he talked to me, he used to cover his mouth because he was so shy, but this got better when he grew up. Now talks to everyone, the only thing, is that he doesn't as much friends but he is okey with that, he is a good father and very playful with the girls, very smart indeed, which is good because all my girls got it from him, he is a good husband too, very responsible. So I believe that my daughter will improve when she gets older and when she gets her first job. Lieuemom, I am happy for you, that your son is socializing more.

I had a similar experience with my son we recently moved and his school was a lot more diverse than the previous one. so i got him involved in sports and that let him open up, and make friends with some of the kids in his school as well as the neighborhood.

Hi Tobbyandlui,I was reading your answer about your xperience with your daughter but trust me no all the people act from the same mood,each head is a different world,can be you are very social ,but your daughter is different no like you.I'm not very sociable too,but i'm happy like I'm,I like do things like your daughter,she's happy exploring the world knowing things so we don't put some interest.Don't be very social no means so she is no happy and be attached to one friend or two isn't bad too,because no all the time we're going to be the fiends of our kids,they need take his own way,the people can move from place to place but when you have a friend so who you love to much you can keep in communication with him.All the people need a best friend someone who speak,be confident,helper because no all time she want to say you his things.Don't press your girl ,if she is happy like she is,I know you want the best for she,but there are people so don't like be beetwen too much people,they are more attached to smalls grups of friends and they no need more people around.The best is see your dauhgter happy with 3 or 5 friends so unhappy in a world she don't like.Your dauhgther seems look like a sensitive girl and very concentrative,you don't know what's going to be in the future but I think you have luck for have a girl like she and I'm seeing a good woman in the future.Good Luuck.

Thanks everyone for your sharing, appreciate! My son has made some big improvement since he started new school. He could recall to me lots of school activates and fun events with his classmates. He is more happier and loudly greeting people by my hints. I and my husband roughly concluded two main causes which have contributed his debility of being an active participant. The trigger one is that although his reading English is always ahead but he started speaking English late and was stutter at beginning around 3. The cardinal one, he is allowed to be dormant during any group activity for years since he was at daycare and he just kept drifting away the group activity (he love drawing so much and used draw for hours everyday) . He just gets used to this practice and being alone is becoming his habits. So now he feels pressure and lost during group activities. We are trying to coach him for different people interacting situations and asking teacher encouraging him more involving in group works. Hope he could build more confidence and do better soon, otherwise we may seek professional assistance.
tobbyandlui, maybe a third party materials may more effectively persuade and help your daughter. www.boostkids.com/
Haven't tried myself yet, but thought it may have some value info. Don't give up! If we insist, they will keep up! Good luck!

lieuemom, I experienced the same thing as you, when my teenager girl was in elementary, when she was in 2nd grade, I started to noticed that she only likes to be by herself all the time, a lot of kids wanted to be her friend, but she ends up running away from the group in the middle of a game, she seems not interested in their games, she always wanted to be lonely. The only thing that interested her was catching insects and play with animals, other girls wanted to play with her but not with the insects, because they were discusted or scared of them, they were always telling her to let them go, this used to get my daughter upset. The principal noticed this from her and called me to asked me about it, we talked about it, even they send me a social worker at my home thinking that something else was wrong, which it wasn't. She still is that way, I try putting her in different activities but still hardly talks to other people. Right now, she is in dance classes which she likes doing it, but she just goes to dance and doesn't like talking to anybody, the only way she can talk to someone is when someone comes to her and talks to her. We have been moving from place to place since she started 6th grade, but this started when she was in 2nd grade, so I don't think is because we moved. But each time we moved, she has a very hard time adjusting and sometimes she makes a little fuss about it, when she really makes a friend, she becomes very attached to that friend and she cries if we moved, because she thinks, that she would loose that friend, I tried to talk to her about it several times and try to explain her that it not good to get attached in that way to her friends, I told her is okey to have friends but not to be that way, because not all kids are like her, some kids even if they are best friends, they moved on, but she doesn't. I would like her to be more friendly, to develop her social skills, but I don't really know what exactly to do to help her, she seems bother when I tried to help her, she tells me not to force her to have friends, that, that is the way she is.

Hi,I'm thinking so you are some responsibility with so yuor son can't keep doing friends,like you say the last four years you're moving from school to school,and this is a bad thing for the kids because they never keep the same friends,and each year and each school is new for your son and is more difficult for them start again like you when you change of work each time you're knowing new people and sometimes you'renot feeling ok in the place.Each time you move from place to place your son is readjusting to the new place and starting again.Why don't try to keep you in the same place so you don't need to move your son from school to school.And try to involve him in the activities of the school,in your community,with your neighborhood,etc.

You could start by asking your child's pediatrician for advice, and your pediatrician should be able to give you a referral to a child psychologist, who can do an appropriate evaluation. The types of testing done will depend on what he or she feels could be the problem.

I know testing can be frightening - in that you don't know what it will reveal. Still, you can always deal with the known. When you have information you can make choices. Without information - all you can do is guess and worry. Find out what you need to know so you can best help your son. Not testing is not going to make it go away. You are not alone!
You have our support!

Hi, Troop! You are an expert! Each symptom you said does match my son. Although he is our first child, but he has been in center of our family for three years. I think the problem half caused by his character half by his late developed language. Although he made obvious progress now, such as at eye contact, greeting, recalling past events, talking and writing but he is getting a habit of staying out group and considering it as normal thing. I understand that a test can give more information about his problem and maybe some effective and suitable methods to treat it. But those are new things to me. And I am also worried that the test result label may have some negative impact to my son. Can you tell me more about those tests, the procedures and following conduction, etc.? Thanks in advance!

Your son might feel more comfortable relating to children one on one. This is not unusual. He is not ready to be part of a group at this point in time. Does he shyness prevent him from communicating to others at all? Can he be friendly enough to initiate a "hello"? Does he give eye contact? Is he able to participate in the necessary school activities?
It might be helpful to talk to his teachers about his ability to interact. You also might consider asking the school to do some psychological and educational assessments. If your son attends a public school, they must perform these test by your request.
I am not sure if your son is an only child - but sometimes youngsters in these situations feel uncomfortable in groups of other children because they are used to being around adults.
Either way, the more information you have, the better prepared you are to address his needs.
Best of luck to you!
Trooper

Appreciate trooper! My soon had been stay at Daycare's before and after school program 3 years already. Couple of teachers at daycare center also tried to let him join group activities, but seem still need lots of works. He seemed do not like join the group activities. When he ride bus to or from school, he always sit at the far end of bus alone. But he is happy of making a good friend with one boy from another class. And he also told me he had 5 or 6 friends at class. Still he prefer stay with himself when it is time of group work at class. I hope I could find sth special for him.

There are some great groups available for children to assist them in becoming more socially adept.
Depending on your child's age and your location - check out programs offered by you local YMCA. Additionally, many areas have local recreational programs for children. A good resource would be your local library. They have current postings on activities for children of all ages and skill sets.
Keep us informed as to your progress!
Trooper

Thank you very much for the tips. I will give a try for them. I found a good article about help kids success. Here is link for share---www.ldsuccess.org/pdf/LifeSuccessParentGuide.pdf

Hi. My son was also "socially immature" and didn't have many friends in elementary school, but he had an attention deficit. Your son just sounds like he hasn't had much time to develop peer friendships. The best advice I got was to try and involve my son in group activities like sports or Cub Scouting, so he had an opportunity to get to know boys outside of school hours, and then when school was in session, he had "common interests" to talk to them about. ("What did you think of the guy that showed off his pet snakes at yesterday's meeting?" or "I was practicing knot-tying last night...want to see?") While you want to encourage a child to talk about things they enjoy, you have to caution them about dwelling on a topic (ie, dinosaurs or pokemon) because the goal is to be able to talk about shared interests. Asking questions of other kids is better than just making statements to other kids. "Role playing" can also help some children. If you even have one other neighbor who is of similar age, and can invite that child over for a "playdate," you can facilitate and show your son what "good communication" looks like.