My son is in the 4th grade. I need to help him focus. sometimes he shuts down and i cant get him out of it.

I would first explore the reason why he's shutting down. There are MANY possibilities. He may be struggling w/ a learning disability, tired, hungry, having difficulty in the classroom, overwhelmed w/ the amount of homework, have ADD, bored with worksheets or simply be a child who needs more playtime and less homework. Is he having difficulty in school? Follow your gut instinct and don't settle for a "he's fine in class" from the teacher. I have two ADD daughters and homework was ALWAYS an issue. They had spent so much energy staying focused in class that they had none left to devote to homework. The homework 'issue' was a MAJOR problem for both of them and it was the main reason why I decided to agressively pursue the reason behind it. My daughters were good kids and I knew it wasn't a matter of them being oppositional. (I must also mention here that my girls are 'A' students and didn't have behavorial problems). So when you say your son is a good kid, do believe that his homework issues have NOTHING to do with being 'good' or 'bad' but a symptom of something greater. Get to the root of your son's red flag. Be your son's advocate and warrior!

FLMommy, your suggestions are very helpful....In fact, my son had a teacher who decided the best way to handle the matter was to give EVERY child a notepad (so none of the kids "stood out" as being different.) She asked them to use it, and she also wrote individual words of encouragement and/or re-direction on their notepads, which really allowed each student to feel as if they were getting "personalized attention." There were few "embarrasing" times when the teacher would have to correct children out loud...most of the time, it was a very positive classroom experience, for ALL the children.

Get involved. Go with your son to school and volunteer. Show him how much you are interested and proud of the children who succeed. He will want to be like you and make you proud:)

If your son's teacher agrees that he is having trouble staying focused and is willing to try unconventional tactics, I can share something my daughter's teacher used to keep her from talking out of turn. They gave her a little notepad. When she had a thought she wanted to share (dinosaurs are reptiles, they lay eggs, some think they are related to birds) in the middle of story-time etc, she is to write it down on her pad. That way she can share it with me after school while I give her my undivided attention and reinforcement. Your son could be asked to write down all the major topics discussed in class that day. Not dictation of the entire class, just what things did they talk about. There should be no punishment if the list is skimpy, but definitely rewards if the list looks solid. The point is that in order to do a good list, he has to stay focused on what they are discussing. The writing should not have to be neat or in full sentences, just enough so that he stays connected and can tell you what he meant when he wrote it. Also provides a better answer to "What did you guys do in school today?" I usually get, "I don't remember." from mine. Now, at least I get a list of comments that gives me some idea of what they were talking about in class.