Capricorn401 - if you reread my response more closely you will find that I specifically said "chronically late" that means multiple times over a period of time.

I agree on the same sex issue. I also would hope that the child has been sat down and explained why she is being put in detention. Talk! Talk! Talk! to the children! don't just punish them!

You must be a teacher..... Everyone winds up being late one time or another. You can not say you have never been late ever in your life. Your allready judging without all the facts. like i said, "You must be a teacher."

They will make the child take detention during school. My son attended San Jacinto Elementarty and was put in detention for throwing a piece of trash back at a student in the cafeteria. The janitor seen my son do it therefore made him stay in the cafeteria and sweep the entire room, but the janitor failed to tell his teacher he was holding my son. Therefore my son was charged with Truency and given detention. During detention they gave him nothing to do but sit there. The monitor came into the classroom with a tray of food, sat at the desk and started eating. My son looked at him and the monitor told my son, "don't look at me eat, you'll make me lose my appetite." several hours later my son started to nod asleep with nothing to do, and the monitor went up to my son and kicked his chair and told him to wake up. I did go to the Priciple about that, but of course the Principle was not available so I had to talk to the Asst. Priciple and he stated he would have a talk with the monitor. I never heard a denial or an apology from any of the school officials. I was then labeled as a complaining mother. However I was all for the punishment on throwing the trash.

I do not read anywhere in the original post that this child takes a school bus, the child's parent has an unreliable car, snow kept them indoors, what I read in the post is a time management issue.

The parent has the time management problem and the child must suffer the consequences. This is a reality of life; you get the parents you get.

What I also read is that the parent wants to overturn the rule: not negotiate with the principal for a one time exemption, not get their kid to school on time, not sit in detention with their kid, not explain to their kid that the actions of one in a group affect the others in the group, not anything about personal responsibility, just a "how do I get this overturned?"

It's time here and now for personal responsibility. Lots of us got dealt parents with inadequacies. Maybe the first grader will set the alarm, may not.

Coming from a situation where my daughter's learning is interrupted by selfish (yes, being chronically late is selfish) people is not fair. It's more unfair than accepting consequences for behavior.

What happens if a parent refuses to allow their child to serve detention? Is the parent told they need to find another school for their child if the rules at the current school cannot be followed?

I THINK THATS B-S AND NO THATS NOT THE CHILDS FAULT THE PARENTS MAY HAVE ISSUES WITH THE COMMUTE OR NO VEHICLE SO NO I WOULD NOT LET MY DAUGHTER STAY AFTER SCHOOL WITH THE PRICIPAL ..... AND SHOULDNT SHE BE SUPERVISED IN DETENTION WITH A FEMALE SHE SHOULDNT BE ALONE IN A ROOM WITH A MAN BY HERSELF.

I think it is sad that a child had to be punished for their parents actions. As parents, we need to understand the importance of our children being at school on time. It has to be frustrating for teachers, when students are constantly coming in the classroom after the day had started. The school can not punish the parents, so the alternative is to make it inconvenient for the parents that have to pick up the child from detention. Instead of trying to change the policy, you need to just make it a priority that your child gets to school on time.

None on my part also dear. My son is in the 6th grade band and forgot his kneck strap in his locker and was given 2 days dentention for it. Throwing them in detention is not solving the problem. They need to learn and teach better communication with the students and the parents. You should have received a letter in writting expressing their concern on the tardies.

I think MagnetMom has some fabulous suggestions!

While I understand your desire to protect your child from being punished, in my opinion it is better for a person to grow up understanding the need to be on time that to join the work force not realizing there could be consequences to chronic tardiness. Your daughter is learning an important lesson when she is young enough to change her habits.
I also like BeachComer's reference to a friend who had served the detention because it was his fault the kids were late. What a great example he set for his kids about being responsible for one's actions!

I realize some parents do feel tardiness is not a behavioral problem, but it does have the same disruptive results. I support the school for having consequences!

Wow-get your kid to school on time-let her serve the detentions and be grateful they don't call Child protective services on you. Here they would charge you with educational neglect.

In our district, the policy would be detention for the student or a truancy hearing with social services involved for the parent with as many late arrivals as you have had for one half a school year.

In every year of my daughter's elementary education children arrive late. It is usually by a child with a stay at home parent. In our school's experience, these children are the most likely to not have self-discipline in homework, classwork, social development and educational skills such as problem solving.

Your child should take the detention punishment, then you should admit to her and the school that you are at fault. By accepting responsibility for your actions you are setting a good example for your child. And, you are allowing your child to learn from the experience.

You should also explain to your child that you are stealing time from the teacher and the class when you are late. I use the stealing term because very young children understand stealing is taking something that doesn't belong to you - we taught our daughter that people go out to eat for two reasons: the atmosphere and the food. It you are acting up, distracting other people, you are stealing one of the reasons they came to dinner. You have no right to steal. Your child has no right to steal. Take your lumps, learn from them and move on.

I don't have any useful info for you regarding having the practice overturned, I just want to tell you that I suppport your belief and wanted to post my opinion. I think that is ridiculous and unbelievable!

Everyone has good points. So what is the solution for the schools that are doing this now? How should it be handled? Go before the school board maybe?

It is a parent time management issue. Not the child's shortcoming. When my lil girl was in Pre-K, I used to be tardy and sending her to school 5 minutes late. It is unfair to the other students and it does negatively affect my lil girl. She would tell me why she is the last one to be in school, or why I have to rush her every time. The tardiness was due to the fact that I would allow my lil girl to sleep a little more whenever it was difficult to get up, more so than time management on my part. However, I have since realized that she has to go to bed early to be awake and ready in the morning on time. These days, I set a fixed time betwwen both of us - for us to be out of bed and out of the house. Now she can grasp the time issue and we are never late for school.

Punishing the kid is not a solution. Perhaps parents should be fined or penalized in other ways, leaving the kids out of the equation. The kids should be told by the schools and their parents that being tardy is not their fault. It is the parents!

It would seem most parents agree that this should not happen when a child has no control over the time he or she gets to school. Are any of the schools hearing this?

There are many alternatives if you can not seem to get out the door on time: Get up 10 minutes earlier each day, take turns with a neighbor or friend (if you have trouble in the morning, be the afternoon ride), set an alarm clock in your child's room so that they can wake YOU up. The child should NOT be punished with a detention because of a parent that can not be on time.

honestly the parents should have to serve the detentions. a seven yr old shouldnt be expected to get up and get to school on time. its not the childs fault its the parents who are running late. my mom made me late through middle school and I had detention which led to suspention and saturday schools and I had no control on her getting up and being responsible. totally not fair to the child. if you cant get up on time let your child ride with a neighbor dropping off their kids too.

Another tactic that the teachers are taking in imposing threat among first graders (just two weeks ago a classmate of my daughters) is telling them that if they do not do their work they will call the police and the child will have to be yelled at by the police officer.
Am I the only one that sees this illegal and ethically wrong!?

I have witnessed and been told by my daughters of many instances where the school procedures are not followed and discretionary to the principal and sometimes the teacher, or maybe neither... Nevertheless, leaving parents in shock when a "punishment" wants to be imposed without the clarity of why and how? This is a huge problem in our school district, Sunnyvale. Are you also in this school district?

I had the same problem with my granddaughter, and she is in 5K. We tried to say no she could not stay and her mother would stay, but they said if she did not stay for her detention she would be suspended for a day!! This is outrageous! Most of the schools in our area do not give detentions in elementary school. If it had been a behavior problem but hers was also for tardiness so I strongly disagree with this practice. When I asked her did she understand why she had to stay, she answered " I guess I did not know what time it was". To her having a detention was a big deal. She thought this was a very bad thing she had done. There are other ways to deal with this problem.

Perhaps you could speak to your child's teacher or principal directly and explain that you will attempt to get her to school on time...

I agree with TeacherParent - I definitely think the school could have addressed their concern about your daughter's tardiness differently and think it is unreasonable to send a 1st grader to detention...
that puts a lot on her. you should talk to your child and tell her you will take responsibility for the tardiness and what it is important to be on time for school.

when my son was in earlier grades - he was late at times because I got him there late..i would have hated to see him get punished for my lateness. you understand how it impacts your child when they have to walk into school/class late as described above...
look at what puts you behind schedule ( make lunch and get clothes ready night before, etc.) and make a change.

It's a great question. Making students - even very young ones - sit for detention for their tardies is an increasingly common policy in schools. I agree with you - it's confusing to children. It makes the detention room rather a 'holding tank' - children in there for misbehavior, or not doing homework, and for being late.
Yet more and more schools are doing it and they do it knowing how much it upsets parents. When schools and the teachers in them feel their authority is being 'disrespected', the school can respond in ways that are petty.
And I think it is petty to make a 1st grade child sit for detention for being late. The school is trying to send you a message but in the better world, they'd find a better way to give you the message that they are out of patience for her lateness.

A very good friend of my raising two boys on his own, was in the same situation. While he claimed it was not entirely his fault either, it IS ultimately the PARENT's responsibility to get their child to school on time at that age. (Children can not drive) ha ha So my friend went into the school at the time of the detention and apologized to the teacher and stated that he should also have detention because it was partially his fault. He figured that would teach his children to accept responsibility for their actions. He figured the teacher would accept the apology and send him on his way but instead she made him stay for the entire detention. He was sure to get his children to school on time after that. True Story

Hi joyesn01,

There is another disscussion going on about this same topic, to check it out follow this link.

community.greatschools.net/q-and-a/290332/Why-are-our-elementary-kids-serving-detention?cpage=1#comment_326784

Great advice MagnetMom!

joyesn1,

I'm not sure I'd spend so much energy overturning the practice as I would focusing on getting to school on time from now on.

At my daughter's school there are the chronically, habitually late families, and because the kids are in primary grades, sadly the families feel it's not a big deal. And while 5, 6, and 7-year-olds are just learning to tell time, critical skills that go with it are responsibility, time management, and respect for rules.

Children who are late disrupt the class. Either the class waits for them to get there, or get caught up, and it's not fair. And it holds the whole class back while they wait. Take five or ten minutes off a morning reading lesson, and one of the kids who needs that time won't succeed.

At my daughter's school they've tried everything from notes home to morning assemblies, extra recess if an entire class is on time for a month, and yet the same folks wander in late. I've heard second graders beginning to resent their always-late classmates. I personally would LOVE to force the parents into detention--or community service. Ironically, they're the families that live around the corner--not the ones driving 20-30 minutes to get there.

I'm not coming down on you, even if it sounds like it. I can see that you realize this is a time management problem, and you're aware of it (at my daughter's school families waltz in saying hi! to the office staff without a shred of remorse).

I'd use this as a teaching moment for your daughter and tell her you're all going to get up a little earlier, get things ready the night before, and make a renewed effort to be on time because school is her job, and you want her to be on time. Apologize, but explain it's a family issue and you're going to work on it together.

Then go into the office and sit down with the principal and find a way to resolve your guilt--volunteering for the carpool line, helping at a school activity, etc.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.