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Anonymous December 2, 2008

What to do when my child says she hates school

I have tried so many things she tells me that she is board at school abd the kids are making fun of her Well my child is very smart and gets her work done early and has nothing to do i have asked her teacher to give her more work but has not i dont know what to do any suggections will help

Parent Answers to "What to do when my child says she hates school "

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She has no friends in school she is teased due to be the African American in a 98% white school. When I ask her what is bothering her the most about school I just get the whole thing. This has been going on for 3 years. I thought once we moved out of the city type schools that thing would improve but they did not. When I went into observed the class I noticed that my daughter sticks out in the classroom. What I mean is when the kids went into groups my daughter stood up last and surveyed the 4 groups and quietly walked to a group in the hopes she would be allow to be on the team. She quietly took her spot at the end. When she is in her sporting activities she is usually first at Karate and likes to be first out on the ice. She does not stick out on the ice or at Karate she blends nicely and she is the only African American ice skater on the team and the only African American karate kid on the team. She feels comfortable and accepted. I don not feel that she feels accepted at school.

Have you talk to your daughter about why she hates the school? What things are really bothering her? It seems that she is in a good school, when my teenager was in elementary school, she was academically challenged, she had lots of homeworks, researches and sometimes she even has to stayed late at night to finished her homeworks even though, she started doing her homeworks after she came from school. Check if your daughter have friends at school.You should volunteer to help in someway in her classroom to see how her day goes on during school time.

Unfortunately she is not and honor student and we did change schools. This elementary school is very academically based and pushes very hard, sometimes I think too hard. My daughter has 3-4 hours a night of homework after being in school for 6.5 hours a day.

I have the same problem with my teenager daughter, she hates her school, usually she tells me this when the school seems not challenging for her, she is a bright student, she is on the honor roll with only A's. She said that her school is not challenging and it is boring, she has been in really good schools before, rated 10/10, and she seems more happy and busy at home with a lot of homeworks, but not at her actual school. It seems that it is happening the same thing to your daughter, maybe the school is not challenging enough for her and that is the reason why she is bored. Maybe, you should try to change her to another school, even thought is not simple, because, sometimes your request to transfer has to be approved first. I am planning to move from this area to were the schools are more challenging for my kids, if my transfer request is denied.

Skatingmom, more people will see your question if you start a new post, because your daughter's situation is different from dolphin91's kindergarten child, and people may get the circumstances confused.

Okay the question is what do you do when your child says she hates school? Well my child hates school, she is pushed hard in school by the teacher and is teased by the kids... She SAYS SHE HATES school so what do I do. What suggestions do you have.

Skatingmom, it might be a good idea for you to start a separate discussion regarding about your daughter, since her situation of not finishing her work is different than dolphin91's daughter, who always finishes early.

When my child was board at school I sent him to school with a book to read. I encourged him to read the book when his work was done. The teacher's noticed and encourged the reading or gave him more challeging work.

SHE IS IN THE 4TH GRADE AND HAS HATED SCHOOL SINCE 1ST GRADE. she DOES NOT LIKE TO READ BOOKS AND USUALLY FINISHES HER WORK LAST OR NOT AT ALL. she IS A GOOD READER BUT HATES IT. she GETS TEASE BECAUSE She IS A BI-RACIAL CHILD GOING TO SCHOOL IN A 98% WHITE SCHOOL. she IS AN EASY TARGET AND SHE WILL NOT FIGHT BACK. Even THOUGH SHE IS A YELLOW BELT IN Taekwondo (Karate) and has won 1st place in sparing competitions she will just cry in school. Her anxiety on a Sunday night is unbelievable, she has actually had heart palpitations. We do not have any of this on a Friday night, Saturday, Sunday morning /afternoon or on vacation times.

TeacherParent, it's helpful to read all of the previous answers before responding. In this case, dolphin91 has clarified that her daughter is age 5, and in kindergarten.

A little more information here would be helpful - how old is your daughter and what grade is she in? How long has she been saying she hates school? Is it new to this year?

Children do make fun and teachers should not allow this but why are the children making fun of your daughter?

Without knowing more, it's hard to give more advice but I could say this - when children finish their work early, they should always have a book with them to read. Take your daughter to the library and let her choose some books to take to school so that when she finishes her work, she can quietly read a book until the other students are done too.

Teachers are busy and it's often hard for them to focus in on the needs of one child in the room - sending your daughter in with books to read can fill the empty moments of the school day for her and there's no better way to fill those moments than with reading.
Good luck.

There are other states that have programs for gifted kids Pennsylvania is not the only one. You can still have a child tested and sit down with the school to develop a program for that child. Don't just give up make the school work for the child.

I want to clarify what skatingmom has said; unfortunately, not all schools offer gifted programs, and very few states offer Gifted IEP's, or requirements to test children for gifted programs. (Pennsylvania is one of the only states that does that, so unless you already live there, or want to move, the advice she gave does not apply.)

You can request that he school test your child for the gifted program. All you have to do is write a letter to the school the principal's attention requesting the testing. Just say in your letter that your child is excelling in school and appears to be ahead of her classmates and you would like to have her evaluated for the gifted program. If she qualifies she will then receive a GIEP (Gifted Individual Education Plan) that would provide her more challenging work. Please keep a copy of your letter that you send and certify the one to the district. School districts have 60 calendar days to test children and hold the meeting with the parents. Good Luck!!!

Maybe your daughter needs to be involved in other activites, what type of things is she interested in? what grade is she in? My son last year said he didn't like school either but I came to find out he didn't like the teacher. He said he felt like she was picking on him, My husband had a talk with her and after that my kid said he felt better about being in her class. Maybe the teacher is allowing bad behavior in class or letting the kids tease and make fun of your daughte. Maybe you could see if your daughter could change classes if she would feel more comfortable with another teacher. You have to try all sorts of different things to keep her self esteem up!

Every kid says they hate school, its part of being a child. so just tell your child to grow up. seriously!!!!

thanks for your help

Dolphin91: are you the original poster? If so, again I would be concerned that your loved her pre-school experiences and now unhappy in kindergarten. I can only urge you to bring this to the attention of the principal and request assistance.

My daughter was in the 3yr old program and head start and she loved it but not this year '

From my point of view, when it gets to the point that a young child declares that she hates school and she's being teased, it's time to sit down and have a dialog with the principal.

The purpose of this meeting is not to complain, rather it is to ask for help. As I understand it, the primary objective of kindergarten is to prepare children for school and their attitude is one of the most important aspects of this readiness.

You're not wrong to be concerned, I would be. My expectation for my own daughter at this age was to have her come home from school each and every day bubbling over with tales of the fun she'd had that day. And for the most part, that's what happened.

For older kids, I recommend having the teacher read Susan Winebrenner's book "Teaching Gifted Kids in the Regular Classroom," but it probably won't help a kindergarten teacher.... You might want to join Greatschools Gifted Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11537

My daughter is 5 only in kindergteen thanks for the tips

Anonymous:
Welcome again to GS community. How old is your child. A college or AP course maybe good for a high or middle schooler. For elementary student, she needs enrichment program or skip a grade.

Meet with the teacher and make a plan on how you child can be challenged or you can give her work from home. My daughter is doing three pages of materials from home three days a week and it is helping her stays focus and less time to listen to other kids.

I hope this helps!

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What to do when my child says she hates school

Parent Answers to "What to do when my child says she hates school "

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