"deb" as in debutante? Was the invitation put out by an individual, or an organization? If an organization, it may have simply been an oversight/error... I know several organizations that use volunteers to do mailings, and if they're simply going down a list of names, they may have addressed a card to Mary Doe at 123 Anystreet, then something interrupted them, and they came back to the list and said..."Hmmm....where did I leave off?" They check the last card, see 123 Anystreet, and don't realize that there were two separate people at that address, and each should have be sent an invitation.
The other way to handle this might simply be to call, and say "I know the post office might be responsible, but Mary got an invitation, and her twin, Jane, didn't..."
I think we'd need some more info about this ball and your family's connection to it.
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