My husband and son can not get along!

My 3 yr old son is from a previous relationship. When I met my husband him and my son bonded. He became "daddy". We had a son together when my son had just turned 2. Since my younger son being born, my husband and my older son do not get along. They fight like 3 yr olds. I feel so overwhelmed. I feel as if I have work, school, bills, two 2 yr old and a 1 yr old among many other things. I have tried different things like "daddy" and Pablo activities. Pablo help daddy with chores. Daddy take Pablo grocery shopping. But my husband feels I'm pushing my younger son away from him. I keep telling him as well that children do by example. So show him respect and honesty love and caringness and he will follow, but I'm just not sure if he is getting the concept. Any advice?

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I have a now 16 year old son and daughter from previous marriage. My now husband of 10 years, we had a son together too, but my older son and husband since real dad got back into the picture 8 years ago has been a constant struggle getting my husband and son to bond. I feel that communciation would have really helped the situation between the 2 of them. They let their egos get to involved instead of parent/ step family dynamics. It was always and still an issue of once we would bond they would visit dad and come back and we would have to start all over. My role became a mender and constant reminder of "you just need to remember to let him know you love him" the older my son became it was very hard and he just needed his real dad to stay connected to and now my husband and him now have to find a new level to bond on. It will be a the hardest thing till I dont know when but I love ALL my boys (husband included) and I have to stay grounded to that foundation and well good luck. There may not be a helpful answer for you, but you must hold it together for each individual need for them. You will set the tone for how ever it turns out, keep you head up and keep communicating.

I grew up in a family where one of my siblings was favored. And I swore to myself that I would never do that to my children or allow anyone else to do it either. And I do notice my husband favoring our son, over my older son. All I can do is remind my husband that there are things that he can do with pablo because he is older that he cant do with christopher. I have tried talking to him. He started going to a counceler. Which has helped out a little bit but I still see the same thing with my son.

his dad is around. he knows everything. but doesn't care. its the responsibility off himself. they dont fight physically but my son screams at my husband. He tells him daddy I don't like you. You know all the same things he is doing to me its just my husband doesn't know how to handle it and gets mad. Where as I ignore this behavior and punish him with timeout when needed my husband resorts to timeout right away or even yells back. I have stepped in and told my husband "He is just a lil kid. You need to get down to his level and tell him what he is doing wrong" It goes in one ear and out the other. My sons safety has always been my # 1 priority as well has his health and emotional state. I am actually believe it or not going to school for Psychology and have learned so much about how to handle situations. It's just you never want to admit that your family has issues.

I would not recommend a lawyer, but I would recommend family therapy/counseling for you & your husband.
No 3-yr-old can possibly understand the involved nature of adult relationships, and he doesn't know he's got a step-father and half-brother, he just thinks of them as "daddy and younger brother." (Does he have any involvement with his birth father?)
When multiple children are in a family, I think it's just human nature for most parents to "favor" one child over another internally, because their personalities are closer to their own or whatever, BUT a mature parent doesn't display that favoritism to the kids, especially when a child is so young. Your almost-3-yr-old isn't intentionally misbehaving or fighting with your husband, and if he doesn't understand that, I strongly urge him to take parenting classes/ counseling.

Find a good lawyer-sorry but it sounds like you married a two year old. It's the adult who is supposed to be mature. I also would be wary of anyone who can't get along with a child of that age especially. It takes a really unbalanced person to have "problems" with a two year old to the point where they actually fight-physical or not. Where is your son's actual father? He needs to be made aware of the situation and given the oportunity to deal with it. If you have to tell your husband to respect, love and care for your 2 yr old son-it sounds like he shouldn't be trusted to take your son shopping alone. If I were the boys father I would ask that you don't put them together or let your husband punish the boy in anyway. I would also want custody-to keep him safe from any emotional harm your husband is currently inflicting or potential physical harm. It sounds like an unhealthy, unsafe enviroment for a kid. How old do you think the boy has to be before he understands "daddy doesn't like me"? Your child should be your primary concern. For you to not take immediate action is condoning it and letting your son know he's not worth your protection.

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