My 4 year old can't make decisions

If there is a decision to be made my 4 year old wants help. She can't decide what to eat, what to wear or what to play with. Is there something wrong with her?

Parent Answers to "My 4 year old can't make decisions"

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What does her pediatrician say about it ? It can't hurt to have her tested but it is possible she's being given too many choices for her age/level of maturity. BTW,many young children have peculiar eating/dressing habits so as long as she's healthy and gaining weight and not leaving the house naked---which is going to be even more important when she gets into high school ;o> ---then let her alone. Put dabs of what ever is on the table on her plate or put an outfit out for her to put on with your help and then ignore any fussing. After all,it's possible you have trained her to act out by how you react to her behaviors. I recommend you read books about early childhood develpment;there's tons of them at the public library. If YOU have trouble choosing a book,'The Magic Years' is good and you can tell a librarian you need help finding a book on prechoolers. You can always find stuff online,too. Oh yes,most importantly---Four year olds are going through a difficult stage developmentally and experience a lot of internal conflict as a result. Expect her to be wayward and so on. It's important that you educate yourself so read up about her stage of development so you can help her and regain your peace of mind. You might also want to watch that nanny show---'Supernanny' ? She knows her stuff and you can learn lots about childcare and training from that show. And above all,remember:This too shall pass.

I agree with all of the advice provided. Limit the choices, limit the amount of time to make the choice. Make sure options are agreeable to you.
I use to use a timer for my child. Choices - orange juice? grape juice? after 30seconds Mom chooses.
Also, and it is hard not to do, but do not given unrealistic expectations about how much choice they have over things. Sometimes they get a false sense of entitlement in choosing things only to find out, in real life and in school - they do not have that same freedom to choose.

At my house I lay out one pair of shorts/pants and two different shirts they put the one that they want on. As far as the breakfast thing goes if my kids want a warm meal it means they have to get up earlier( i am a working mom) which is definiately out of the question so there options are limited( cereal, egg sandwhich, my 4yr old loves to eat macaroni and cheese:}) unless they want to wait and have breakfast at school.

Try giving her less options. That works with my kids. Your daughter's only 4...wait ten years and see how long it takes her to pick out an outfit.
Unless she's lathargic-then I'm out of my legue, don't know what I'm talking about and you should listen to one of the mom's.

I agree with Healthy11. My daughter is two and if I give her too many choices she just gets overwhelmed. At times, I've found myself (in spite of myself) offering her one thing on top of the other when she doesn't give me a yes or no for the first or second thing and this sends her into a tailspin.

Keep it simple, and when she does make a decision for herself, give her some positive reinforcement. For example, if she chooses eggs for breakfast over cereal, tell her what a delicious choice she made.

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