When your child has a big red X on their forehead - what do you do??

My son has attended the same school since K-garten and it seems the principal has marked him from day one. Everything they have asked me to do I have done yet they do not offer much assistance on their end - legally my son qualifies for an IEP however they will not give him one. We are now on our 4th therapist on the advice of the school HOWEVER none of them agree with the school so I am told to find another one. My son is advanced educationally and our problem seems to be more of a discipline problem (almost tit for tat) - any suggestions on who to talk to in the school system. I am to the point of calling my attorney as well as the school board as it is apparent that we are at an impass. My son is miserable and HATES school and I spend a lot of time emailing teachers and making phone calls when I should be working. HELP!!!!!!!

Parent Answers to "When your child has a big red X on their forehead - what do you do??"

View 16 answers: Newest-Oldest, Oldest-Newest
Display fewer answers

I represented an autistic student at his IEP with a home health service, and was furious with the discipline slips presented by his so-called "aide" and the constant flow of at-work-interruptions to his parents during the school day. I have worked as a Resource Aide for Washington Township Schools and am aware of the responsibilities these staff have accomplished while I was there in 2003-04 - hired psychologist in one school, incredible dedication, with prevention of behavior and accomplishment of assignments, pride, and documented improved social interaction, with accounts of fewer student trips to the principal's office. Ask for records of his aide and then carry these "behavior slips" to the superintendant - staff is not trained if there is no log of work completed, supplemental projects, with positive changes in the student's school day. etc. Don't ask, demand an aide if you believe your student is in danger, or endangerment to others, and look into their track record. Staff should have these matters settled early in the school year if they are doing their jobs and earning their paychecks. Non-sufficient cause for IEP is often used as a SMOKE SCREEN for corralling special needs populations out of certain schools for "trouble free school stereotype" (surrounding real estate market values and parental social cliques), non-accountability with the State (paperwork and no supportable staff willingness trained on behavior improvements), and actually spending allocated federal funds on its cause - student populations in need of 1:1 adult supervision, not "downtime in trailers" as one school district laid on me while working as a substitute teacher (disgusting & appalling) during the school day.

Attending an IEP was in itself stunning for stereotyped and inaccurate allegations of current student status with misconduct carried over from previous IEPs, with staff "self-identity" in stacks of Pink Slips and low grades accumulated in one full school year, without mention of 12-year-old depression, social withdrawal and very few absences.

Of generous per pupil ratio of state funds, every student deserves more for attendance than years of "pink slip" familial-threat "disciplinarian style" education-supplements and daily house calls of complaining staff. IEPs provide for 1:1 aides, and where supplemental assistance is obviously needed, would contact the State Superintendant's office and find out school-district distributions of these funds, and if they are not distributed on "demographically targeted schools".

-low paid, and pestilential on the side of kids-in-closed-door-classrooms

You say "My son is miserable and HATES school."

That quote should give you your answer. You need to find him a new school.

If your son's only classification is gifted, you will have to look at state regs since gited is not covered by any federal protection. You must look at your state's rules and regs to see if ADHD can be a reason for an IEP. If you can get an IEP through the ADHD route, you will have more power and protections under law. If an IEP is not available, ADHD can get a 504 plan.

great link healthy11, she can also use a legal aid attorney in her area to help her find an attorney that specializes in educational discrimination, even if she doesn't qualify for free legal assistance they can help her find an attorney in her area by referral through a list of attorneys they keep that deal in specialized areas such as this. she can also try the justice department child advocacy center in her area by going through either the department of human services or the juvenile court clerk. another avenue might be the aclu or a disablity attorney. I'm not sure if this qualifies as a civil rights violation but it certainly seems it might come close enough for an organization like this to take an interest. Also contact a state or federal representative regarding the no child left behind acts and the special rules about public schools that receive public funds and any school that doesn't adhere to them risks loosing federal funding. It has several sections specifically about special educational needs. Unfortunately the state school board doesn't take an interest in the daily activities of public schools, though I also had to ask them why not. There is no reason why the school should refuse to evaluate the child through an iep. Just because the kid is smart doesn't mean he doesn't have special needs. With the proper documentation she may have the beginnings of a law suit on her hands.

disgusteddad, it sounds, from FedUpMom's original posting, that she has already had her child evaluated for learning and attention difficulties by private professionals (pediatricians aren't generally qualified to evaluate for LDs) and yet her school is denying their recommendations for an IEP.
She might try finding a special education attorney or advocate from www.copaa.org/find/index.php

Take your child to his pediatrician and have him evaluated for learning disabilities, adhd etc. then take the evaluation results to the school board district representative and demand an iep evaluation. It is illegal for them to refuse to evaluate him for special services even if it is apparent there is nothing wrong with the child. I would call a lawyer, this school is in violation of several federal laws regarding special services. good luck

I called the state school board and they said they do not get involved with the local school boards or schools. What are they there for then. My son was the only one of my three children that did not graduate.

What school does he go to. I went through the same thing. It got so bad with the principal that in 12th grade he would call me crying from the parking lot telling me he couldn't go into the school. He went through major depression and ended up dropping out the second semester of his twelth year.

To the mom who's son attended the same school now has Big X.
OOOhhh my dear absolutely call the board they will help you, we have done that in the past, that should have been done a long time ago. If he legally is entitled to an IEP the board needs to be involved if they won't help you by all means get a lawyer things will change. Also let me say keep every email you send out and every email that you get from teachers, principals anyone concerning your son. I have done this for many years after being screwed with my now 11th grader back in 3 rd grade. Hope things get better.

you should write letters to the school board and maybe ask the principal why your child is on his red mark list.
but in fairness to your child you do need to check on the teacher and the class room he spends most of his time in.
if theres more than the expected amount of children in any classroom the teacher is spread pretty thin so maybe contact the school board member you voted for and ask why the principal suggest drugs for your child instead of facing the matter head on. isn't that his job?

First of all you need to make your request for an evaluation to the district spec ed office since the principal is being uncooperative.

Next, are there any other public schools in the area for your child's grade level, if so I would send a certified letter to the district superintendent requesting permission to change schools within the district.

I would also file complaints with the district, the state, and federal govt for the principal's blatent discrimination. Even Student's with "hidden" (or unidentified disabilities) are protection under section 504. He is also violating federal "child find" regs for failing to acknowledge and address your child's disabilities

You may want to check this out:

Creative Tactics to get Spec Ed Services
community.greatschools.net/advice/599/Creative-Tactics-to-get-Spec-Ed-Services-

I'm not an attorney, but the parent of a highly gifted teen who also has ADHD (as well as dyslexia and dysgraphia) and I have assembled a lot of resources on the dilemma of "2e" children (twice exceptional, gifted and having learning issues) at community.greatschools.net/groups/16042

Fedupmom, I can understand why you're upset, but having an ADHD diagnosis (which it doesn't sound like you believe, anyway) does not automatically "legally" qualify a child for an IEP. That's important to know if you plan to pursue some type of legal action. You might also find sites like www.wrightslaw.com to be helpful re: special education law. Schools, particularly under IDEIA2004, like to use "minimum curriculum guidelines" and RTI to determine if students are eligible for IEP's, and bright kids with learning issues often "fall through the cracks" because they can easily meet grade level requirements, even though they're not meeting their own potential and may have other social/emotional issues.

I guess I'm confused, because if you don't believe your son has ADHD, then there wouldn't seem to be an eligibility category for your son to even begin to write an IEP under. You certainly wouldn't want him categorized as ED (emotionally disturbed.) If I were you, I wouldn't be writing letters to anyone, unless you're sure of what you're requesting. Pennsylvania is the only state I'm aware of that has guidelines which allow granting of IEP's just for being gifted. (Was your son tested privately, or by the school?)

I do want to mention that just because a child doesn't respond to a particular ADHD medication, doesn't mean they can't still have attention deficits. I don't know if a pediatrician prescribed trial meds for your son, but I highly recommend seeing a child psychiatrist, because they're medical doctors who specialize in mental health conditions. Often multiple medications at different dosages are tried, before finding one that's effective.

While I don't know if your son's issues are simply due to being a very bright child that isn't being challenged, or something else, I'd also recommend trying to get Susan Winebrenner's book "Teaching Gifted Kids in the Regular Classroom." All the best.

Screw the school send certified letters to all the school board members as well as the superintendent Note the followIng: The schools request and your follow through all therapists results Suggusting his IEP if possible. What you have done and what the school has not done.

If possible put the letters on a Attorney's letter head.
Ask if there is anyway you can sit down and work this out because at this point I see no progress at school level.

My son in the past three years by the schools testing has shown him to be ADHD - however medicated for this diagnosis has not shown any difference so this year they decided within in the first three weeks of school that he was ODD.

Thank you for responding - my son is 9 and in the 3rd grade. The school has never done an FBA and there is no BIP in place. Based on his grades the principal does not feel that anything further needs to be done besides I need to find a therapist that will prescibe something that will remedy the problem. All the therapist short of the current one (we have had one visit) have agreed that it is a chosen behavior and is being triggered within the school as we do not have the same issues elsewhere. They (the school) have recommended since K-garten to take him to a Therapist so I have EVERY year and it has been the same result, the school does not agree with the therapist/counselor. Last years doctor came highly recommended by the school who has sent other children with similiar issues there and he did not agree with their findings. The current doctor is wanting to delve deeper into this HOWEVER she is also on the recommendation of the school. I say my attorney only due to the fact of some of the issues and remarks that have been made by staff and administration. My son has been labeled gifted on all of his testing scores however at school he appears to be socially inept at times. It is obvious to not only myself but some of his past teachers that he is marked so to speak. My son is well aware of when people do not like him and the principal has made that very obvious as well. My son is to the point of not wanting to try due to knowing that regardless he is always wrong and the only student in the building that causes any problems per the principal. I will check into the website offered, thank you very much for that. I am at just at the end of my rope with trying to help my son stay postiive and motivated since he is so bright and could have a great future and trying to passify the school. The therapists have stated that he needs to stay busier and to be challenged, the principal's response is we are not here to entertain your child. I am not above doing whatever is necessary for my child however I am not for pumping him full of meds to see if this is the fix the school is looking for. Based on the school's testing is what the doctor's have prescribed meds for - then the school states well then perhaps he has this as opposed to that - try a new medicene..... UGH!!!!

How old is your son/what grade now? What is your son's diagnosis? Has he had an FBA (Functional Behavioral Assessment) and is there a BIP (Behavioral Intervention Plan) in place?
I've never heard of a school advising different 4 different therapists...you mention having an attorney, but are they familiar with special education laws? You might want to contact someone from www.copaa.org/find/index.php

In addition, I'd like to invite you to join Greatschool's Learning and Attention Difficulties Group at community.greatschools.net/groups/11554, where more people will see your questions and be able to give you advice.

Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of GreatSchools. GreatSchools does not check for accuracy in community posts or verify the contributor’s identity. If you are searching for health-related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Community Guidelines for more details.

Phoenix
Local Q&A Change City

I am planning to move to Phoenix, and need suggetions about the schools

Talk about your experiences as parent of a high schooler in Phoenix. What's good and what's not so good?

best schools in phoenix?

Ask a question about Phoenix >

Local Q&A is brand new! What do you think? Give us your feedback in our feedback forum.

When your child has a big red X on their forehead - what do you do??

Parent Answers to "When your child has a big red X on their forehead - what do you do??"

Change City

PhoenixLocal Q&A Change City

Phoenix
Local Q&A Change City