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hillmom3 November 5, 2008

tranfered schools and son hates new school?!

hillmom3
We moved from Maricopa to Chandler and my son has always loved preschool and his old kindergarten but at the new school he hates it! It breaks my heart cause my son would get mad if I had to pick him up early now he is asking me to come get him! He said no one played with him and that the teacher is not as fun as his old one. I told him it takes time to adjust but I was in tears last night over it all:( The teacher seems unfriendsly so far and I don't know what to do. We are only in our first week so I told him it takes time to adjust and get use to a new school. I have butterflies in my stomach like I am just not happy!
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Katinka
Katinka November 16, 2008
"I would talk to the teacher and then give him time, say until x-mas."
My apologies...I read what you wrote as a statement made to him. I also believe I was thinking about older children, not 5 year olds. It is not always possible to move a child and find a school which is accessible...and it can develop a pattern. However, I totally agree with both of you that little ones need to have great help with adjustments. I do think, however, that sometimes our own discomfort can come to the forefront...when we would benefit our children more by helping them to adjust as long as the situation is reasonable.

hillmom3
hillmom3 November 16, 2008
leftovers:

I actually do agree with you. My son has always loved and adjusted to school fine. When he started kinder at his old school he totally did not want to go but he of course went and loved it. The issue is more than about my son doesn't like the school. The curriculum which is suppose to be better than the old school seems behind what he was doing, I my self don't care for the teacher so I took his dad up there to see what he thought and its hard to describe but its like she smiles and is nice but you can tell her heart isn't in teaching kinders. Its like she is just there and kids can sense that. Well his dad actually felt the same way so we have discussed switching teachers. I do plan to speak to the principle this week and all last week the teacher wasn't even there. Then I actually know someone whom had this teacher for their daughter and they said she really isn't patient and she is not the worse teacher nor the best. I know he will have not so great teachers throughout the years but to me the kinder experience is different and they need a nuturing environment with a caring teacher. I am waiting to see how well he adjust and I am calmer about the situation and am looking at alternatives to this school district. It still upsets me when everyday he does not want to go and even tries to tell me he is sick just to not go! I do occasionally go up there at luch and he seems to play with kids on the playground but is always sitting alone when I come. He is an outgoing kid so I am for now waiting but researching other options. But he is 5 and I am not sure he really can expalin exactly what he doesn't like about the school. We explained making friends takes time and I think its mostly the teacher whom isn't nearly as caring or nuturing as his last. I don't care what anyoine says you need that when you are 5 yr old and in all day kinder! I appreciate all replies!!!
leftovers
leftovers November 16, 2008
Well Katinka,
I didn't tell my son he had to wait until x-mas to see if he was still unhappy, that's silly. And when I moved my son to a new preschool after x-mas, he never cried to leave or not go again. He was perfectly happy and loved school again. Just like hillmom3's son was in his first school. If a child loved school once and now doesn't, he's trying to tell you something. If he doesn't feel comfortable there after a bit of time, well....I say listen to him. My life sure got easier after I moved my son to a more nurturing pre-school, because my son was happy at school. I'm certainly not one of those Mom's that brings my child home because he cried when I was trying to drop him off at school. I totally get that if you give into these fits at the moment, then they'll be repeated. Kids will always remember that you caved once and they will cry in hopes of that happening again. My advice is suggested assuming that this senario did not take place.
Katinka
Katinka November 15, 2008
What does he do at the next school? and the next? and the next? With a pattern like this, he would be learning to get exactly what he wants...no matter the consequence to anyone else. Obviously, there could be problems...but the solution is not to run/walk away from them. "Mom, I'm unhappy"..."ok...if you're not happy by Xmas...you can have your way"...I think this is an unhelpful scenario to teach a child anything except manipulation.
leftovers
leftovers November 15, 2008
I would talk to the teacher and then give him time, say until x-mas. If he's still unhappy by x-mas, he's trying to tell you something! Move him to another school.
I say this from experience! Trust your children.
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