It depends on the age of the child and whether I already know the family well. When my son was younger, I always made it a point to drop him off at the door, and confirm "pick up" arrangements. As he reached adolescence, if the party wasn't held at someone's home that I already knew and trusted, I still went up to the door to verify an adult was really going to be supervising the kids.
What gets more difficult is when kids start to talk about "word of mouth" invitations to parties...For example, when my son was a high school freshman, he said there would be a "party" after a school drama production, at one of the main Senior actor's houses. I asked for the person's name, and phoned the family to be sure the parents were aware of kids coming over, that "virtual strangers" like freshmen were included, and that the parents would be home and no alcohol would be available. I never actually "met" the people hosting the party, because another mom had the carpool duty the day of the party, but I felt confident that he was going to an acceptable event.

When my Teen is invited to a party or even to spend the night at a friends house, i call the parents, if i do not already know them....He does not go anywhere that i do not make sure, i speak to the parents that are in charge--then i give them the 20 questions and his "cell phone" goes with him....

I agree with the previous posters. It all depends on how old the child is and how well you know the family already.

My 12 yr old daughters have one friend with some "issues". Even though I know her parents pretty well, I always confirm with them because the girl tends to issue or solicit invitations without her parents knowledge.

Other kids, I'm confident that if they call and invite mine over that all is above board & I send them right over.

If it seems vague or fishy, check up on it, preferably in advance. It could be kind of rough to take your kids over, and then try to get him back home again if you don't like the situation.

These days, particularly when teens are involved, it's vital to ensure that there IS an adult in charge, so it's even more important to make sure you have some kind of contact. It's very common for teens to issue an invitation verbally to a friend or two, then it gets passed on and on, and the party ends up having 100+ kids in attendance with no adult around. We had that experience next-door, and ultimately there were five police cars, a fire engine, and two ambulances called to the scene. The parents were out of state, and the 14-year-old daughter was left in the care of a 19-year-old. Not a good situation, particularly when the parents were notified and declined to return home when their daughter was in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.

You not only want to check that the parents will be there, but that they'll be supervising responsibly. That counts for every age child.

some kids, when thet "ALL GET TOGETER" in a group....you just never know, what can happen...a innocent party, can "change quickly"...

Both. I check in advance when possible, and if there is a 'drop of the hat' party or get-together, I make sure I make eye contact with another adult. If the other adult doesn't seem old enough (or mature enough) then either I'm staying or my child is going. Most of the time is has only meant that I stayed for a little time while I observed the other parent and they could see that I was serious about them maintaining order and conduct. Occasionally, kids can think they're slick and have a 'homework group' that evolves into a party. If my child comes home and can't show me the work that was done then that would be the last time the work with that group. Shoot, if she comes home too happy I get suspicious. Homework doesn't make any kids happy.
But anyways, back to your question. Yes, you should make sure of the supervision, don't just 'hope' at it.

I always call ahead to make sure a parent will be home. For families that I am not familiar with, I also ask if alcohol will be served - believe it or not, some families will allow drinking.

When I droop off, I always check in. For new families, I introduce myself, thank them for their hospitality and confirm pick up, and for old friends, I say touch base and confirm pick up times.

From what parents have told me, most parents do not do this. At a recent team sleep over, I was 2 of 17 that bothered to come to the door.

When my daughter was in Middle School she hated me checking in. Now, she is accustomed to it!

Thank you very much for taking to time to answer this question.

I dropped my son off at a party this past weekend and remembered that I had not spoken to a parent so I got out of the car and meet the parent as well as the children. The parent thanked me for coming in to meet her and commented on how some parents do not.

I noticed that some of you said that the age matters.
Why does the age matter? And at would age do you feel it is not important to find out if an adult is present?

It depends on the age, like with my 8 and 9 year old girls, I usually stay at the party with them, I always take both to any party they are invited, no matter if only one of them is invited, of course, I always let the parents know this, to make sure if it is okey with them, if it is a party for my teenager girl, I sometimes stay for a little while to check if there are enough grownups supervising the party even if it a party for someone that I already know well enough.

Age doesn't matter to me. My 19 year old son can get raped even easier than my 6 yr old can. Atleast with my 6 yr old, I know who was the last person they had contact with. If my 19 yr old decides to take off to a party were some perv lives and doesn't live to tell about it, how would I even know? Teenagers just hear a rumor and run off to a party somewhere. Could be that they show up and find out the only party is the one the someone else planned on their body. It sounds extremist, but a boy was just shot at my son's college (off-campus) this past weekend. No one knows who he was visiting, where he had been or why he was shot. Senseless. I can't imagine how those parents must feel to know their son is dead and with no answers whatsoever.

Great discussion all of your imputs are good and very interesting. Blacklion I agree with you. Some of our teenagers will try to pull the wool over our eyes but I think it is our responsibility - regardless of our childrens age - to find our who, what, when and where, any time our children are going somewhere.

At the age of 18 & 19 I might say that I will not be walking my child to the door or checking in with a parent but I hope my relationship with my child is good enough where they will tell me - truthfully - where he/she is going and with whom they will be going with.

NOPE!!! He lives in my house--MY RULES--I try to give him FREEDOM, a little at a time right now, but he stays on a SHORT LEASH--BUT a "PARTY"---, NO !!! Not unless, i check things out first...

i don't think age meter when you drop of your kids at the party, if the parents is home i go and meet them. My kids 12 and 13, i want to know there friends and definitely there parents. It gives me the knowledge of there surrounding and your kids know you care and aware, it makes them feel more secure. I am sure it helps to build trust between you and your children.

It is always important to know who you are turning your child over to - if they are of the age to require supervision. To me, this includes, still living at home and in high school. When your child goes out the door to school - you expect a certain amount of supervision. You still have to sign report cards and permission slips! You still pay their bills! You need to be informed of your child's whereabouts. You should be talking to your kids enough that you know the names of their friends. Your child should feel they can tell you anything - without risking your love. This can be accomplished without appearing to be a warden. For parties - always have a contact person and a number of an adult. Listen to your gut. A responsible parent will welcome a call from another parent introducing themselves, ahead of the event. It is being socially responsible.Your children should know where and how to reach you as well- they should be provided with a name a number too! This is called consideration and responsibility.

sometimes i do if i no the ppl really well then no if i dont really no them then i go talk to them..it just depends..

shenanaebobo, we know you're a student, based on comments you've made in other postings. Please don't misrepresent yourself as a parent.

No matter the age, if it is 7,10 or 17, always they will be your kids, if we don't take care of them, then who will?

i always make it a point to drop by and meet the parents first.

absolutely! I have three teenage children and even though they didn't like it, I told them that they couldn't go to a party unless I talked to and met the parents in charge to make sure they would be there and would be supervising. That said, "stuff" still happens under the radar of supervising parents and the key is to have open communication lines with your children and set expectations for what you expect of them.

You should never leave your children in the care of someone you have not met. Even if your kids don't like it, it's for the best. Safety first!

My kids have always only gone to friends houses where I know the parents. This is why its very important for parents to be involved and know their kids friends and the parents. All of my kids friends and their parents I know thru my kid's sports.

My daughters have learned 'on their own' (?) not to go to parties where they could get into trouble. ANd don;t think I'm being naive or that they are fooling me - I'm serious - quite often my 17 year old senior in high school will stay home on the weekend. (And believe me, it's not that she's a dork or unpopular - she definately has a ton of friends!) She'll tell me some of her friends are at parties she'd rather not go to. She knows the consequences of getting into trouble - loss of the use of the car - loss of the chance to play sports - not being able to get into a good college - or worse.

But when they were younger if I didn't know the parents, I definately would talk with and meet the parents. And more often than not we had a house full of kids at our house, rather than them always elsewhere.