moving out of state

Yes, if you know the area where you will be moving to, contact the school in advance and let them know you are coming. You may even be able to e-mail the teacher she will have, send her your daughter’s interests and find out if there is anyone in that class with similar interests, or just get the teacher to send pictures of the kids in the class, and you send pictures of your daughter. This way, when you get there she doesn’t feel like a total stranger.

Hi..we have done lots of moves over the years...you have gotten some good advice. I find that by reconnecting with old groups like girls scouts is good. I also contact the library, parks and recs office and try to find out what are some kid friendly activities planned. I also request a buddy family from the school with a child that has similar activities....if your child is into competitve sports it is so careful to not get into the wrong soccer club, the wrong swim team, etc. I also ask my current coaches, etc for their recommendations even if it is across country. Many have college friends around the country. In the past I have also use Ivillage to "talk" to other parents without giving too much information about where I am moving to (in terms of parts of town). I get lots of opinions on schools, etc. If your city has a parent magazine--most larger cities do I would google for an example, "memphis parent magazine". Those publications are great for finding activities, mommy groups, etc. Craigslitst too. Good luck with your move. I would not spend a WHOLE lot of time looking back. I would encourage postcards, etc. but stay far away from a lot of melancholy, crying in front of her, etc...this transition will be with her for the rest of her life. I moved at key points in my childhood and I have moved my son at key points in his childhood and I can tell you that overly emoting is not a good idea and also don't make your child look too needy. Let them ease in on their terms---not always handing out cookies and things...know what I mean? Good luck!

Hi! I am about to do my 3rd cross country move in 5 years! Still not fun! After doing this a few times, I have learned the absolute best thing is to keep my kids in the loop. Talk about everything so they are not surprised by anything! Our children look at homes with us (my oldest actually went on a house hunting trip with us and had some very helpful insight - at age 8!). She has since told us that made her feel very important and that her opinion mattered. We take pictures of their new schools, we look at the schools online - activities, etc. I have going away parties for each of my older kids and take pictures of them with each friend for their scrapbook. We write a letter to their friends (with our child's picture included) telling them how much they have enjoyed their friendship, how they will miss them when they move and their new contact information. In order to make them feel a little more at ease when they arrive at their new home, we include a colored envelope of their choice (my son always choses blue and my daughter, purple) and ask the friends to write a letter to them. When my kids see a colored envelope in the mail at the new home, they are SO excited b/c they immediately know an "old" friend has thought of them!

If your kids are involved in activies, look up those activities in the new town - registration information, etc. It has been a HUGE comfort to my kids for them to know the sports/activities they are doing now will be available for them in their new town as well. Look this up in advance as you do not want to miss registration dates! :0)

The best piece of advice I have is to get connected QUICKLY! Speaking for my kids, they feel so much better when they walk right into getting to know other children, making new friends, being involved whether it is church, soccer, baseball, flag football, cheerleading, etc. As a Mom, it also forces me to start making new friends sooner that I probably would as I tend to focus on getting my home in order and then emerge in a daze when it is all finished! :0)

I hope this helps - I would be happy to answer any questions!
Enjoy your day!

I am also moving out of state and my daughter is in 3rd grade. I have taken the time to go and visit the school during a school day, just to show my daughter (and myself) what it looked like and how the school felt in action.

One "trick" I have used is using the new school colors and planned an outfit to wear on a day for school spirit. We have decided that I would ask to chaperon a class field trip or host a class party. Since we are moving soon, my daughter and I have begun to make Halloween treat bags for the new class. She is excited because she learned how to make a bat out of construction paper and tracing her hand. I'm trying to get her "psyched up" about the new neighborhood, school, and new friends to meet.

We are moving from the Windy City to a small farm like community. I have impressed upon my daughter that we will have so much more outside time, and she will have her own backyard. We are both excited and nervous at the same time.

Here is a cute idea for your daughter to try (with your help). Make a postcard on your computer saying good-bye to her class mates. I made little postcards on the computer with a generic picture in the upper corner of a little girl waving good-bye. I put a little note on the top saying how much she has enjoyed their friendship and time at recess together (you can customize whatever your daughter wants to say--short and sweet) and that she will miss them. Then I put on the card her new address and her Webkinz and Build-Bearville names to keep in touch via the computer. There are blank spaces for the recipients to put in their address, phone number, and Webkinz e-mail and/or Build-a-Bearville name so that they can stay in contact this way. (Webkinz and Build-a-Bearville are virtual playground/community websites where children bring to "life" a stuffed animal that they have purchased and named and registered on line. They can play with other characters and animals together on-line, but it is extremely safe and there is no direct chat rooms, everything is safe and comes from that sites "dictionary" and pre fabbed sayings/quotes. They are extremely safe and yet your child is learning how to work on (and navigate) the computer, reading, typing, and other educational tasks, and learn how to be responsible, all while playing. They also have to learn responsibility of taking care of their animal...i.e., they feed, bathe, dress and play with their animals and must earn play money by taking quizzes or doing other educational games in order to buy food, rooms, clothes, toys, etc.... They have daily chores that must be done for each animal, or the animal will get sad or sick.) The great thing about these sites are that your child is learning while playing and there is no direct contact between people, so no unwanted predators can creep in there and gain access to your child. It doesn't feel like work to the kids, but yet they are practicing basic skills. I highly recommend these sites, oh and they are free except for the initial purchase of the animal!!.

Back to the post-cards: She gets the opportunity to say good-bye and yet offer the chance to keep in touch. She will have pen pals,(which will help her with practice writing, and maintain contact through safe avenues like Webkinz and Build-a-Bearville, even if you are not comfortable giving out your address, the children can keep in touch via the web-sites or you can put other avenues of communication on the post cards.

My daughter will be passing hers out this Friday, as we will be moving by the end of next week. This way the kids can bring the post cards home for their parents to see and approve (or diapprove) of what they fill out on the cards. We do not know our new phone number, so that won't be on there, but just the fun, safe, and educational websites she and her present friends have in common is a good way to keep in touch and not have "good-bye' be so final, and yet it leaves my daughter room to make new friends and not stay too connected to her old friends (Does that make sense?)

I, too, will be making new friends and be in an unfamiliar place. I've encouraged her to share her fears, and I agree with them but then we try and work out a plan together on how we are going to tackle it. This is really going to be a big change for us and in many ways a fresh new start.

We are moving from a tiny "shoe box" in the middle of a big busy city into a nice sized home in a very quiet (and safe) neighborhood. We will have the space to organize our things, and a table to sit and eat together at, and establish a routine, which we haven't had. This in itself will offer a stable environment that we haven't had.

Honestly, I am scared too, but I try to act less anxious than I really am, but enough to let her know it is normal. I have looked to this web-site (Greatschools Parent community) for many answers and plan on joining and becoming an active member of a "momtourage." I know this will help keep me feeling a member of some place. I also plan on visiting the local churches, which is a nice way to meet people with similar values.

I am hoping to find an after school activity that my daughter will enjoy, something physical, as my daughter is struggling with being over weight and she's only 8 years old. She used to be a Brownie over a year ago, so maybe they will offer Girl Scouts out there. I think being a member of something, anything, will help our child feel like they belong. It is scary, but remember that you are moving to make a better life for yourself and your family. I keep telling myself this and it helps a great deal.

I also plan on looking up the article posted in the reply just before mine and hope to get some good ideas from there. Just belonging to GreatSchools helps me personally. It is validating to feel like I belong to a group of like-minded women which is empowering in and of itself (no offense to the men out there that read this site).

We are having such a rough time here at the school and the small living space and the clutter and the crime, as well as my chronic pain that I am overwhelmed with packing and trying to get through each day (and the nightly nightmare of home work). I just try to imagine how much better it is going to be.

Another thing you can emphasize to your daughter is that change can be good. My Grandmother used to say that change builds character. It's also an opportunity for a fresh start, a clean slate so to speak. I have a very positive outlook and am very hopeful that life will be better for all of us. I just need to keep my head above water while we are still here.

I am supposed to be moved out in a week and have so much more to do. I am so overwhelmed, but need to take time like now to stop and read the postings here and take some "me time" even if it is to discuss our children. My daughter is my world and I want the best for her. Feeling good about myself and being happy can allow me to be a better Mother to her.

This site has helped me to find a good school in the areas I was looking to move to, and then has reassured me now that I know what school she will be attending. I hope this has been helpful. I helped myself by venting and thinking out loud as well :). Good luck to you and your family with your move. Try and keep a bright optimistic outlook that this is a journey and it can be fun (even though moving is stressful and leaving the familiar behind can be sad and/or scary). Let me know how your transition goes and if any of this has been helpful. I will let you all know how our move goes as well. Good luck and thank you to everyone for your comments. It really is helpful to read other's postings even if you don't respond. It's just helpful to know you are not the only one experiencing something and it is validating and helps to "normalize" my feelings when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Thank you to you all. Geniemom