Stablemom - I don't think you did anything wrong here, contrary to some of the comments from others. I could fill a book with things other parents have done and said over the past 20 years while my kids were growing up.

Unfortunately I think you have witnessed the way a majority of parents are acting irresponsible ways these days.

Not thats darn right RUDE!!! Well, next time if there is one..let them know on the R.S.V.P.that if they aren't there at that time to make other arrangements cause you have to leave. Some parents are like that, they are not on time or are late. Too bad, as it puts a damper on the fun occasion.

When my son turned 11, we had a party at Lazertag. We sent out invitations. The party time was 2:30 - 4:30. All of the parents RSVP, and were reminded of the pick-up time when they called. Mind you, we were new to the area, so I did not know any of the children or any of the parents. All of the children were dumped off at the front doors. You could hear the tires screech LOL. Not a single parent came in to meet me. When the party ended at 4:30, there were still 4 children there. I had to call the parents over and over again. The last child was picked up at 6:15 and those parents just pulled up and honked the horn. Some parents just don't care.

It seems to me that having a dinner party even for a mature thirteen year old is a pretty adult theme. It sounds to me like maybe that's why people didn't take it too seriously...

I agree that you did the right thing by telling this woman to come pick up her children. Clearly, she was trying to take advantage of the situation. I wonder too how did this mayhem affect your daughters friendships? Was she upset by her friends being late, or you getting into an argument with one of the mothers?

OK here's a example my daughter is having a choir concert, and the teacher said all students not picked up at the end of it. will taken to the police station and parents can explain to them why kids where forgotten maybe this will open parents eyes that they should remember the kids if you don't want to take care of them give them to someone who does or will

I believe stablemom and her husband told these parents the correct time of the party.start and end.and I believe some of these parents was just inconsiderate and wanted to have a free overnight baby sitter.some could have been late do to not watching the time or just was too busy and took their time to pick up their kids.I am not suprise at what happen to stablemom and her family.you have a lot of parents that will do this even if you sent invitations.I work at parties and I seen it all how parents do other people and their kids.

I concur with you kayrom1 also.

How are the children getting along with you child now? Has it burnt bridges? (and I'm not excusing the parents with the overnight bags either)

Thanks, tjlove.

I do not call people liars. I was trying to point out that this many people not showing up or calling to find out what time the party ended clearly shows there was a lack of communication. That is partly the responsibility of the OP.

I guess I just can't get it in my head that THAT many people would be that clueless and/or inconsiderate. I have never known anyone to do that. Usually when a number of people don't have the information correct, then somewhere along the way the information wasn't conveyed clearly.

I don't think that Kayrom was calling anyone a liar. To me it seems like she was trying to offer a different perspective on why the party went so wrong. That's what these forums are for- to offer different perspectives and advice from different points of view. It's up to each person to take away what is helpful to them and to leave what's not for others.

sorry....some how my last line in the first paragraph...was not supposed to be there.... but was supposed to be the last line of the last paragraph...lol
must have been editing my "great" spelling...tried to "finish up" what I was saying...but instead, never moved the cursor off the first paragraph....oops!

stablemom...you are so right! I bet you even heard the tires squealing, when those parents, slowed down enough to toss those kids out...lol Worse?....seeing the overnight bags, when they walked in the door....oh, geez! You did get lucky, though....the parent did call you and not relocate! ...lol I'll make sure they bring their piercing tools and those electric guitars w/amps...I loathe so much...lol

Shoot, I've had some kids that seem to show up every year a few hours early, then, end up staying the night, because the parents, did not seem to be home, or answer the phone, or remember they even had kids...lol

You had every right to be angry. Some parents nowadays are inconsiderate. Some parents, even knowing that it is not an all night event, but for a free night out...still pretend that they did not know that! "FREE SITTER....YEAH!!!" dinner is cheaper that way,.....movie and popcorn, minus the kids...a little shopping w/o the kids=cheaper,....lol

As said, no matter if you plan the party earlier or not, next year....if you have my luck(and it sounds like you do)....you will always have those children who come early, dusting the road dirt and tire marks from their tossed-out-of-the-car-quickly-bodies, all belongings in toe, and stay late, making you think you just forgot that you actually gave birth to them years ago, too...lol

On the bright side....you are apparently the best type of parent in the eyes of other parents. Even if they are rude, you can look at it that way. You were trusted enough to care for their children (even if it is until they turn 18!...sorry shouldn't have added this last one, I have two of them here w/ me now...never left from last year August 2007/and another around November 2007...love em both though, and I treat them as my own kiddos..., just wish my older ones would be the kids jumping out of the car ones, while I slow down, sometimes, instead of the other way around. What time, next year is your daughter's party?...lol...mine will be there. Just look for the uhaul out in the parking lot!..lol)

Hang in there! Your daughter will remember her awesome parents, and what you went through for her special day....that's all that matters. (You know you will do it again for her next year! :) Get prepared now...the older they get...the quicker they do not want you there! You're almost there!...lol In the coming years, you could just have her meet her friends at a movie, after the dinner, w/ instructions that you are not giving rides home for all the guests, as we do. It works for us, as long as you pull up...lock all doors, but the one your kid is entering...and burn rubber out of there...not looking back...lol

Have you a need for "loner wild-children"? Children to "repay" those parents with, when their child has their bday? I have a few I could "loan out" to you...heehee Would be great to get even w/ them with! My crew could help you out...lol)

YES, they knew--They also, knew you were not going to leave their child in a public place....and some thought just send a bag--and i will call later and see if they can spend the night.....SOME PEOPLE----sorry, you got done this way----BEEN THERE..

I know all of these parents knew what time to pick up their kids.they just wanted a free baby sitter,so they can do what they wanted to do.they took this birthday party to their advantage.these parents did not have to leave their kids after 6:30pm.

EXACTLY, put it in writting!!!! That way, there is NO misunderstanding.....kids,give parents, all kind of massages, my son is a TEEN--and i still say --not unless...i talk to the parent---you can not go!!!!

I WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING OR SAID ARE GOING TO PAY ME TO KEEP YOUR KIDS ?

Stablemom:

You write: "Invitations were given."

Were they given in writing? Did they give the ending time as well as the beginning time, e.g., "4:00 to 6:30 p.m. Please plan to pick-up your child at the restaurant" ?

Also, did the written invitations require an RSVP by a certain date? Did any of the parents RSVP by phone? When parents RSVP by phone, that's a great time to confirm the details you've included on the written invitation. Further, if they DIDN'T RSVP (very rude of them, especially when a sit-down dinner is included), you can sweetly call them a day or two before the party and say, "I'm sorry to trouble you. I haven't heard from you and was worried that Suzy didn't receive her invitation to Shelby's party." That will either prompt an immediate apology and explanation why the parent hasn't RSVP'd, or will elicit the information that Suzy won't be attending. Again, that's a great time to confirm, parent-to-parent, the details of the party and pick-up time.

Also, there are numerous free Internet invitation services (I think E-vite is one) that you can use that require the recipient parent to RSVP by mail. Those invitations, like mailed invitations, can include all pertinent details.

If there's ANY possibility (and maybe even if there wasn't) of a miscommunication, it might be wise - for your child's sake - to apologize for being abrupt with the parents. They will then likely apologize for misunderstanding and inconveniencing you. Absent that conversation, however, your child may be left out of parties to which her classmates are invited. That's not a fair outcome for her.

That is so sad what some kids have to go thru.this parent has some issues when it comes to their kids.sounds like to me they don't care who they leave their kids with just to get away.maybe next time with some other parent they may not be so lucky getting their kid back safe if you know what I mean.that's why I said early maybe you should have gave the cops a call it might save the kid from being left at somebody else house.

also the mother who sent here kids with overnite bags, conned another mother to pick them up.

to clarify, invitations were given, with time and place,and directions, and my husband re-minded the parents of pick-up time when they dropped their kids off..
besides the one wanting me to take her kids to sleep over, the same mother who was late dropping off was also 45 minutes late picking up,and one kid never got in touch with her mother, and we had to call, the aunt, father at work, and an older sister, to try and get in touch with the mother to come get her daughter.
i also had 3 close friends with me, who were from out of town, who could not believe what was happening, ,,
they stood by for support, and helped me by using their phones to try and call the missing parents, with no luck.
we were at the restaurant till about 7:45pm waiting.
i told my daughter today, no more parties, i will take her to where ever she wants to go and do what she wants to do for the long weekend.

Yeah, I'm with kayrom1 also. I didn't think that the invitation was not written cos then it would've been very clear. Usually, when my kids invited to a party, it's an invitation card so we know exactly when to drop and when to pick. Even so, I usually check the time again with the host at the time of the drop off!

Perhaps, you should also check with your daughter and see if by any chance she mentioned the word sleep over??

This is incredibly difficult to believe. Not saying it isn't true, but I'm having a really hard time believing it.

ALL the parents who dropped off kids (or even several?) called to ask what time to pick up the kids? Hmmm. I wonder if your husband did indeed tell everyone the pick-up time. It's a little hard to believe that many people are that dumb at the same time.

I wonder if you daughter didn't make it clear to her friends when she invited them that it wasn't a sleepover. Perhaps those parents found it hard to believe the pick-up time was 6:30 AM and were calling to double-check. They got an earful from you, didn't they?

All I can offer is that any future party invitations be in writing. Lots of kids get information mixed up and don't have their facts straight for their parents. If you have a written invitation, then the facts are there for all to see.

I just hope you didn't burn all your daughter's social bridges with your outbursts.

To me this parent planned this and new what she did was wrong.she just did not care about your feelings,and took you for granted that you would keep her kids while she go out of town.
When she came back to pick them up I would have ask her for overnight daycare payment at my price .sorry this happen to you,but some people don't know when not to abuse a good thing.
Don't worry she will reap what she sow,I've seen it happen to, too many people.
Next time something like this happen call the police and report this parent,I betcha they will think twice before they do something like this again.
Yes,you were right to put your foot down,and tell them.

Well, did they come and pick up the kids by 6:30?? How long did you baby sit them? It was absolutely wrong of the parents to assume that it was a slumber party! :) I would've been upset with that. Also, why would your guests arrive late at the party especially when the party is not at home but at a restaurant! Well, at least you know who NOt to invite next time! :)

Dont feel bad you did right if it were a sleepover you would have said so from the beginning. What Nerve to send her kids with bags!