my son has a very stable living enviroment, always has.
i have other children and none of them behave like he does. it sometimes amazes me how people are so quick
to ask if something is going on in the home to cause this behavior, or how was his weekend. ask me how was my weekend of having to deal with this or how was my day and the answer will always be the same stressful. i will never and i repeat never give up on my son. i will go to the end of the earth and back to find the help that my son needs to help him become a productive citizen. i appreciate your advice but you should be careful of how you word things especially when you do not know me or my living situation.

our situation seems to be the same. my sons behavioral problems started when he turned 4. my son also finishes his work before the rest of the class, so i asked the teacher to give him harder work and it was the same thing he would finish it or he would become upset that the teacher was giving him more work and would refuse to do it. i thought i had found an after school counseling program that would be able to help him with his emotional outbursts they assured me that they would be able to help, after 2 mths of counseling they kicked him out of the program because of his behavior. i applied for ssi and was turned down because he was able to count from backwards from 5-1
and he recieves good grades but all of his behavioral grades are unsatisfactory. i have reapplied and was still turned down, finally i got a lawyer and after 3 years
of appealing he has a court case next month. i am so scared for my son because i see his behavior as leading
him down one or two paths... dead or in jail. he has no fear of anyone and sometimes i think it is the lil man syndrome, but i pray every night that things will get better and he will make a change for the better. thank you so much for taking the time to respond.

thank you so much for your response. i am currently getting him counseling at murtis taylor.

mesmerized, your post brings up an important point; often, there is a hereditary link in families of children with different health conditions, like bipolar. If treatment for one possible condition, like ADHD, isn't helping or seems to make behaviors even worse, then it's important to look for other explanations. A good site to find out more about bipolar is www.bpkids.org

i have been having this same problem with my son since he was 4, he is now 14. my son has been kicked out of every daycare, home care provider and counseling i have been able to find. the schools are constantly calling for me to pick him up or is it okay for them to drop him off. i was told the same thing that my son has behavoral problems and not adhd. my son is on adderall but it is not helping at all, i also have to go the extra mile to make sure that he is taking it because he is so slick he will hide the pill under his tongue and spit it out when he leaves my room. i am having him tested to see if he is bipolar as i am. i know the frustration first hand, of not knowing what is going on and it is hard to find a school that will tolerate
his behavior. i have signed my son up with murtis taylor they offer a lot of different services. i hope this helps a little.

Welcome aboard!! :)

Sorry I am late to post.. My son started Kindergarten this yr as well.. It seems like we have the same problem with our children.. My little guy has a lot going on.. We are going through test after test this way with him.. We were talking to his Dr a few days ago, he wants a copy of his report card seems to think that he is bored at school.. Dr also seems to think that the school needs to challenge him with harder work.. We are finding out that he is getting his work done to soon and right.. When he has nothing to do that's when he decides he is going to act out the most.He has taking off his shoes and thrown them, almost kicked a teacher, and the list goes on..

Hang in there! there is lite at the end of the tunnel I promise!! We are here if you need us just give a shout. :)

It's known that kids with ADHD can pay attention to "novel" situations, and when you describe a "first counseling session" that's obviously going to be a new experience for your son, so he might very well have been on "best behavior." He was probably happy to have some 1:1 attention. I wouldn't automatically rule ADHD in or out right now, but keep it in the back of your mind if problems persist. I do hope that by having a more stable living arrangement and giving your son positive reinforcement, his negative behaviors will diminish and his work habits will improve, too.

I thought that he might have ADHD OR ADD but when he had his first counseling session, after the assessment, she said no it is a behavior thing. And that he was able to to sit and do things and how if he had either he wouldn't be able to do that. I don't know.

Antwan, having a reputation as a class clown, and not doing his work as a child or adult ARE behaviors commonly seen with ADHD. If, as I've mentioned, your son's situation doesn't improve over time, then you might find it helpful to read more at sites like www.help4adhd.org//en/about/what/WWK1

As far as I know his dad doesn't have any diagnosed conditions. He was a class clown, he didn't like to do his work as a child or an adult.

I'd also like to welcome you, and hope that your life is now on an upswing, and that it will continue to improve.

Given all the instability in your son's life lately, I wouldn't want to make any kind of assumptions about other possible reasons for your son's school difficulties, but I think it's important to ask another question, for future consideration...Does your son's father have similar difficulties in his life? Clearly, he had problems in your personal relationship, but does he get along well with his co-workers, and listen to his supervisors, and finish jobs that he starts? Does he have any kind of medical condition or substance abuse problem that you're aware of?

The reason I'm asking is because the kind of behaviors that your son is showing sound very similar to attentional issues, and it's been shown that conditions like ADHD do have a strong hereditary link, so if your ex has known difficulties, it's possible that your son could be affected, too. For right now, it's good that your son is in counseling, and I hope that emphasis on positive reinforcement helps.

SoCalGal I haven't told the principal's or either of his teachers mainly because I don't want them to treat him differently or for him to feel different. The assistant principal has helped me so far by talking to him when he has had a bad day. She is custom to seeing me at his school. She has commented on how well he is dressed and how he looks clean, etc and I don't want her to think any differently then that. I don't recall mentioning that since he has started school, we have our own space. He is in counseling and has been since last month, although we had the assessment for it in early June. We are in different agencies that help me with different things or at least with the resources to get the things that we need. It is a slow process but I think/know that he and I will get through this bump in the road soon. thank you for your advice.

You may find this book really helpful.
"You've tried everything you you can think of, but nothing you do seems to have any effect on your child's chronic procrastinating. The school called again to complain that your daughter is still bullying the other kids in her class, and you don't know how to make her stop without becoming a bully yourself. Your son explodes in anger if he loses at anything -- sports or even fun family games. And your kids constantly argue with each other and with you. If you're looking for a different way to handle problems like these, this book is for you. Written by internationally acclaimed parenting author Dr. Myrna Shure, Thinking Parent, Thinking Child arms you with powerful techniques for dealing with these and dozens of other issues confronting today's parents."
Thinking Parent, Thinking Child
How to Turn Your Most Challenging Everyday
Problems into Solutions
The "I Can Problem Solve" Program

by Myrna B. Shure, Ph.D.
www.thinkingpreteen.com/thinkingparent.htm

It isn't uncommon when children feel unsettled, they act out. It must be so difficult for you and him, living from place to place -- I imagine that it must be tough for him as he compares himself to his classmates.

Perhaps, it would be helpful for you to let the principal know a bit about the struggles your family faces just now. He/She may be able to offer some additional resources such as counseling for your son. Moreover, I like to suggest that for now, maybe since he's lost so much (his home, a space of his own) that you rely on positive reinforcements and spend as little time as possible even noticing his poor behavior. He's under an extraordinary level of stress for such a young boy.

Good luck to you. I hope that things make a turn around in the near future.

Things with us have been changing almost constantly since he has been in school, and before then. We were homeless and living in a shelter, but that was before school for him really started. He had, I believe 1or 2 days of school when we were at the last shelter. Since he has been in school, we have moved to our own place, as of Wednesday the 8th, he has seen his dad once since about March or April. I think that is all, and that is a lot for a 5 year old child. It is a lot for me so I can only imagine. He got his progress report on Thursday which was bad. Only 2 satisfactories and everything else was poor work habits and they want a parent/teacher conference. I suggest that he be changed to a different seat like dhfl 143 suggests. I know that change is something that can cause differences in his behavior, because I work and go to school for early childhood, but I guess it is more of shock and sadness that he isn't getting it like other children are, that his progress report was so poor and that I almost feel helpless as to what to do to help him. I will try doing more things that he likes, but being in a shelter and then living at my sisters house up until Wednesday made those things difficult to do. Now though we have our own space so I will try that. I did observe him in his classroom once that was after his teacher called me, the very next day. He apparently has a little crush on a little girl, and he pretty much does whatever and goes wherever she goes. He talked a lot to the point that I had to move him away myself. I think that it happens throughout the day. Sometimes they have said that in last couple hours he stopped listening.

Welcome. I really have more questions that might help in brainstorming some solutions. What caused the change in his behavior? Would the teacher be willing to move him to another seat location, perhaps away from the boy who hit him and closer to the front of the classroom or nearer to the teacher?

What have the teachers recommended? Have you talked to you son to get his perspective?

I do think that the postive reinforcement is an excellent idea -- and in addition to treats other ideas that come to mind include activities together like renting and watching a movie together, playing ball together, or some other activity he enjoys.

Hi Antwan, and welcome to GreatSchools.

What have the teachers said? Does it happen at a specific time of day or during a specific activity? Have you observed him in the classroom yourself?

The good news is that this is a fairly common question here, and some of our veteran parents will no doubt weigh in. I'll let them ask more questions to get a better idea of what's going on.