Is it you that is having a hard time letting go or is your daughter? I think it is great that you are able to spend time with your child, but you really need to show her how to be an independent person. Maybe instead of coming for lunch, you could set up dinner dates and take her somewhere nice for a special treat. Also, if you want to spend time at school, offer to be a room parent or volunteer to read to the class.

I hate to say it you sound like an absolutely WONDERFUL MOTHER but it might be easier for her to make new friends and socialize with the other children if you didn't come for maybe a week or two. I know it's hard for you and her to let go. But mabey after a week or two when you come back to lunch you'll have alot more to talk about with her and some of her friends it might just make it a little easier.

I think that your spending the time at the school with her is the reason why she cannot adapt to this.. I thought that i was going to go through this with my little one when she started K also the first day of school they didn't even let me come into the school i had to just drop her off and that was it i cried and she was fine and when i picked her up at the end of the day she was happy to see me but she loved her first day and her new Friends she had made and i was never told i can sit with her at lunch if i had know i would have done what you have done but since i didn't i guess it made it alot easier for her. she knows i can come up to the school at anytime but she is ok with this you should try not going there one day maybe she would'nt cry as much and she will adapt to you not coming up there.. you have to let loose soon or she will never be able to adapt with you not being there...