You might want to get the book "Freeing Our Families From Perfectionism," by Thomas S.
Greenspon, Ph.D., ' 2002. Free Spirit
Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 1-800-735-7323; www.freespirit. com. He participated in an on-line gifted conference addressing the topic of perfectionism in children, and was very well-received.
If your son's writing is really a problem, has he ever been evaluated for a specific learning disability in written expression, using a test such as the TOWL? (Test of Written Language) If he does have a real disability, then perhaps he would be eligible for an accommodation such as extended time for doing written assignments, or use of assistive technology (ie, keyboarding instead of handwriting.)
You might also do a "google" search for a program called "Handwriting Without Tears" by King....
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