My son is in first grade and I'm having such a hard time with him?

Did he also have trouble in kindergarten? How was he over the summer, at home with you? Have you mentioned it to his pediatrician? Have you ever requested a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) from the school? From that, a positive Behavioral Intervention Plan (BIP) can be put into place, which should be helpful.
If your son has had difficulties for years, I'm wondering if you've ever considered the possibility of his having attentional difficulties or ODD (Oppositional Definace Disorder) ~ Please mention it to the doctor.

First of all, I can totally relate. We had a similar issue with our son who is in first grade. It took an outside observer to point out that our response to him was always very negative and perhaps we should try to be more positive. It worked. As soon as we lavished positive speak, his behavior improved.

He has had teachers whose classroom he thrived in and others where he did not fair as well (he was sent to the principal's office the first week of kindergarten). Through our experiences, we've learned that he does not do well with teachers who try to dominate him as he becomes very defiant and will not back down.

Neither of these reasons may be the cause of your child's behavior but the common theme could help you...your son is acting out for a reason. Once you determine the cause, you will be able to develop a plan to help him. It may be as simple as it was for us (once someone else pointed it out) that the more we reprimanded his behavior the more he would act out. Or perhaps there is a medical reason.

Either way, you are not alone in your struggle with your son's behavior. If you don't have someone who you trust to be an outside observer, perhaps you could write down the things that precipitate his melt downs and identify a common theme (e.g. time of day, particular topic, after eating certain foods, etc.).

You may want to check out Thinking Parent, Thinking Child
How to Turn Your Most Challenging Everyday
Problems into Solutions
The "I Can Problem Solve" Program
www.thinkingpreteen.com/thinkingparent.htm

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