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princessmom September 4, 2008

how to discipline a7 year old child

princessmom
Help! We are at our last straw! Our daughter will be 8 in December, she recently (yesterday) started 3rd grade she skipped 1st grade and went into 2nd grade. She excelled and loves school. The problem is when she comes home she is is very mouthy, disrespectful to us and refuses to do anything we ask her to do. We have tried many different approaches and nothing is working! We try to remain calm, etc... Anyone having any suggestions about this is most appreciated! Everyone including her teachers rave about her manners and her maturity. How and why can't we get respect from her at home? She slams the doors, stomps her foot and yells. I am about to tear out my hair and so is my husband.
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Parent Answers to "how to discipline a7 year old child"

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ADDMAMA
ADDMAMA April 23, 2009
I have a 12 yr old with ADD and a 7yr old with no behavior disorders. My daughters ADD doctor loaned us a book and video (when she was around 9yrs old-she had awful emotional explosions!) by Dr. Thomas Phelan and it works wonders! Not saying it works every time but at least 80%. Check it out-you may find it available at the library. It is a pretty basic concept: YOU do not lose your cool and CONSISTANCY is key. It is a great feeling when I tell her to do something and begins to protest, I sometimes don't even have to say a word; just hold up 1 finger to let her know the count has started and it stops there. ( just signed up-hope you found your solution)
debrasuefitzge
debrasuefitzge October 14, 2008
i have a eight year old to and she sometimes mouths off,what i do is take things away from her that i know she loves ,like phone ,sterieo computer, and even playing outside it seems to make my daughter think twice about mouthing off and being disrespectful. try this .hope this was helpful
tobbyandlui
tobbyandlui October 6, 2008
I think that if a child is not discipline since the beginning, it would be hard later on when your child grows up, so its better to start early than pay for the consecuences. Its okey to give a lot of love to your children but discipline as well.
ProfMom
ProfMom October 5, 2008
Her behavior is probably not new, but has gotten worse with her boost of confidence. She, I would imagine, has been a high maintenance or headstrong child for a long time. It's time to put your foot down.
The object of discipline is to teach self-discipline, the object of teaching manners is to become aware of how our behavior affects others. You start calling a spade a spade. When you request that she do something aalways say please. When she starts screaming and complaining, you rise from your seat. You do not respond to anything she just said. You focus on what she just did and say "How dare you speak to me so rudely in that tone of voice young lady.
I asked you to . . . and repeat it with a please--Get it done now.
When she returns, ask her if she finished the job, if so say thank you. Do not bring up the incident again.
You are to be treated with respect at all times. A child will do what he/she is allowed to do--this is not allowed. Never enter into an argument with a child, either. You give a command, politely, and expect it to be done--no matter what the reply is, you do not respond to the accusation, you respond to the tone and focus on what the child was asked to do. If the child refuses--don't fight with her--reiterate the refusal. Let me understand. I asked you to pick up your dirty laundry off the floor in your room so I could wash them, fold them and put them away for you and you are refusing a small favor I ask of you? I'd be very careful if I were you. I just may start refusing to do small favors for you, too. If she responds nastily again. Turn slowly toward her and say very low, clear and calmly. Get your clothes in the hamper now. She'll do it. You don't have to take anything away because she is smart enough to figure out how dependent you made her understand that she is on your good will. Do not ever let her push you around again.
After the incident is over, you remain the adult, joke fool around, don't bring it up again. Be open and honest, but remember she is a little child and you are ten times smarter and sharper than her.
tobbyandlui
tobbyandlui September 29, 2008
My daughter is 7 years too, sometimes she tries to scream at me but inmediately I tell her that if she do that again she will be grounded, try to see if it is not something you need to check up on, check with your child's doctor if is not a problem to be addressed at, then your child might need a little discipline, I don't mean spanking her, just find out what she likes to do the most and take it away from her until she can prove you respect, I tried this with mine and it seems to work, you have to let her know who is the boss and makes the rules or else if she grows up this way, it will be a total nightmare for you and your husband.
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