When is a grandparent overstepping the boundaries?

I am divorced and my ex-mother-in law works at the school that my daughter is in. She is a loving grandparent but she is very anti-me. Today I found out that she went into my daughters classroom and told the teacher that she needed to make up 2 folders. One for me and one for her dad. I felt that this was inappropriate. I think that decisions made on behalf of my daughter are between me and my ex-husband. My ex mother-in law is a very take charge kind of person and wants to be in control. I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive to something that is not a big deal or if this is an issue that should be dealt with before things get worse....what do you think?

Parent Answers to "When is a grandparent overstepping the boundaries?"

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Thank you for your help. I have emailed the teacher and asked her to please disregard any demands or requests made by any family member other than me or my ex. I have also asked that she monitor how often the grandma comes into the classroom. I feel my daughter needs to be independent and if grandma is in there every day then she gets dependent on her and I don't want that. The teacher has emailed me back and said that she agrees with me and that she will make sure Emily knows that when grandma comes in it is to do paperwork and not be with her. I do think to a certain degree I will have to deal with some of her interference, but I feel it is my responsibility to take care of my daughter and do what is best for her. Thank you all for your advice.

By the mother-in-law asserting herself and asking to make this change puts the school in the middle of the battle, which is not where they belong. They cannot police your situation. I would suggest you have a meeting with the principal and/or assistant principal and make it clear to them that if any changes are to be made regarding your daughter, they are to consult you and your ex before making those changes, regardless of the mother-in-law working there. She has no authority to request/demand changes.

nadyagan, I have to laugh at your response....I guess I never looked at it that way... Its just hard when you have an ex who won't step up to the plate and has his mommy doing everything...maybe you're right. I need to just get over it. Anyone else have any opinions?

Hi! In my opinion, elderly people are impossible to change, so either you need to get used to it or send your kid to another school!

We do have joint custody right now, but due to the bad economy in Michigan I am moving to California in the fall so we are in the midst of a custody battle right now. My ex has never been involved with our children's lives so he would never contact a teacher to make any kind of request. His mother has always done everything for him and if she had her way she would raise my children. I don't want to create drama or a problem in the school, but I don't feel that she should be making demands or requests on behalf of my daughter.

Do you and your husband share custody of your daughter? If so, I would not be too upset, although it would be more appropriate if your ex, himself, put in the request for a 2nd folder, so he could stay involved in your daughter's education.
If you have sole custody and decision-making responsibilities, then what your ex m-i-l did is clearly in violation of the law. I don't know if you are in a position to enroll your daughter in a different school, but if not, then it sounds like you may have to accept a certain amount of involvement on your ex m-i-l's part, so long as she's still employed there.

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When is a grandparent overstepping the boundaries?

Parent Answers to "When is a grandparent overstepping the boundaries?"

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