What to do if the school is persistent about putting my son on ADHD meds?

Clearly this teacher (?) either does not know the law, or is lying to you.

I'll share my story with you:
My oldest son is also both gifted and has AD/HD. After much deliberation and mixed feelings, we tried stimulant and other meds, as other interventions weren't working so well at the time. We tried it all - Ritalin, Ritalin LA, Concerta, Strattera, Adderall, and finally the Daytrana patch. At best, some seemed to work for a short while, then would create for him side-effects that were worse than the "cure". After 2 years of this up-and-down roller coaster ride with him on meds, and with his school (another very involved subject), we saw his side-effects start to get so bad (sleeplessness, loss of appetite, even skin hallucinations!) that we told his doctors "enough is enough - meds aren't the answer for our son". What followed with his school, teachers, and the school district for months after taking him off the meds would be the makings of an incredibly frightening documentary on just how nasty the "dark side" of the public education system can be for children and their parents with learning differences, especially if you don't bend to the teacher's preference to medicate your child into quiet complicity to make their lives easier (those with kids on stimulant meds know that we often get the other side of the coin when the meds wear off mid-afternoon).

While this is not always the case, many general education teachers and school social workers "think" they understand how AD/HD affects learning and behavior for a child, but their understanding is often very limited in comparison to what a medical specialist in this area or a parent of such a child knows to be true. One size does not fit all with AD/HD, and lack of understanding this often results in teachers trying to apply behavior modification and disciplinary methods with these children that simply do far more harm than good.

In the end, my husband and I held firm, weathered the storm with our school and district, then moved both of our children to a new school with a staff much more accepting and capable of working with our son. He is now doing very well - not perfect, but much better than he ever did on meds. Getting the right school and teachers made a huge difference too.

Needless to say, I am not a parent who will be strong-armed by either teachers or medical professionals into giving my child drugs when I know they are not the right answer for him. I must point out that I do believe meds can be helpful in many cases, and I would never tell another parent that stimulant meds are not a good option if they are really helping. However, a number of medical professionals who specialize in ADHD have since confirmed what I have long believed to be true: up to 1/3 of children with ADHD actually do not do well on stimulant meds or their alternatives, due to severe adverse side-effects misdiagnoses, or co-morbid medical conditions that should preclude a physician from prescribing them in the first place. Misdiagnoses are very common, too, especially in cases where a child is both gifted and has ADHD (behaviors of gifted children can be strikingly similar to those of children with ADHD).

If you don't want your child on meds, then stand firm and be clear that you are aware of your rights and your child's rights in this. Be a force to contend with and stay strong, because this teacher (or other staff member in the school? ... not clear from your post) is not only outright lying to you but also attempting to intimidate you into doing it her way. And she may not make it easy for you to stand firm. Other educators she works with may even stand with her against you ... I've been there, and I know.

Get your own private evaluation by an M.D. or psychiatrist with M.D. credentials, then get him or her to put the results in writing to give to your school and/or district Special Education department. Make sure this is an M.D., or it won't hold as much weight with the school. Alternatively, if your child has an IEP or you are requesting one, sign the IEP paperwork at the end of the team meeting with a statement that you are requesting an independent education evaluation (IEE) in disagreement with the team's findings. You will have to submit a separate request in writing within 10 school days to cover your request legally. Why would you want to do this? Because if the school district is paying for the evaluation, this holds more weight with them than if you go out and get your own private medical evaluation without their consent. And keep trusting your own instincts - you are the most seasoned expert regarding your child's needs!

Just to clarify, children can be both gifted and have ADHD...if it turns out to be the case, you might be interested in joining Greatschools "2e" twice exceptional group at community.greatschools.net/groups/16042

Machaux,
Please consider getting an education advocate to intervene on your behalf with the school. If your son is at the top of the class, then he may be gifted. Have him evaluated by a psychologist for intelligence. Misdiagnosing gifted children with ADHD is more common then you think. If you can find this book at your local library, read:Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults.....by James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia Amend, Keam Goerss, Paul Beljan,....Do not let yourself be bullied into medicating your child (or threatened by social services). This is why you need an outside pyshologist to evaluate your child and an education advocate to intervene on your behalf. We refused to medicate our son 4 years ago and he is now in an excellent gifted program and doing well....without Ritalin. Good luck and God bless.

I'm incredulous the teacher would tell you that.

I would definitely get my own evaluation. I got a recommendation from another mom for an educational specialist (PhD) who specialized in ADHD. She spent over an hour with my daughter, one-on-one. When she told me my daughter had ADD, I really believed her. (Other specialists had told me my daughter had other things --a story in itself -- but my gut told me they were wrong.) My daughter did eventually go on medication, and we are glad she did.

Is your daughter on medication? If so, you understand the pros and cons. But I would really resent being strong-armed by the teacher like that. I would try to keep working with the school. But if they don't start to work more WITH you, instead of dictating to you, I might consider changing schools.