Hi I am new to this but your question caught my attention- I think just managing your time would make things better. Explain to your kids that with extra things going on there will be scheduling going on.

My child is a bit younger and thankfully I have not yet experienced this problem. But I have friends that have! To one of my friends, it was worth the money to take her son to one of those homework help places. I see them around. I don't know what the cost is, but what used to take him 3 hours to do now takes a short drive to a strip mall and about 45 minutes and he is done.

School is much more important now than ever, so my childs first priority over games, movies, after school activities, and sports is homework. My 9yr old has a routine, come home goes to the restroom, changes his clothes, gets a small snack with drink and sits at the kitchen table (which in kid minutes is about 45 min. later) and starts his work. TV is not allowed until homework and reading is done. I just remind him he may take as long as he likes which means it cuts into his free TV time, or playing outside with his friends time. After the first couple of weeks of keeping the schedule this way it gets easier and the kids feel like they are in control of their time. (that is not to say that some days are better then others but it works for us).

I guess what my motto is "school comes first". If my child can't keep up on school work then he won't be able to do any extra activities. I wouldn't hold the others back just because of one. It's not fair to them since they do all their work on time. I wouldn't let him join the swim team uless he can show that its no longer a struggle to get organized and stay that way. You have to draw the line somewhere.

If you have a middle schooler and kids of other ages, I think you're probably finding that "family plans" don't work much anymore. They're independent, have independent schedules, and should be treated as such. The plans of your children who get their work done shouldn't be dependent on what your disorganized son accomplishes and when, nor should his plans be contingent on the others.

Your son's primary job is his homework. Frankly, I think chores and activities come second. If your son is not able to get his homework done with all the other stuff as well, then he needs to focus on his homework. You, as the parent, need to figure out why he's distracted. iPod playing? TV in the room? Siblings running around? He needs a quiet, non-distracting place to do his work. Also keep in mind that for some kids it's difficult to shift from doing homework in one subject (maybe math) in elementary school to doing homework for many subjects in middle school.

Middle school is a tough time when it comes to being organized and handling multiple teachers and multiple classes. Give him time and help to pull it together and keep in mind that hormones have a lot to do with the distraction problem.

If you think he is getting too much homework for his abilities, talk to his teachers about it. When my daughter was in seventh grade she had a terrible time with math. I finally went to her teacher and said, "She'll work on math homework for 1/2 an hour each night. She isn't going to do 65 problems each night when we know she doesn't understand it after 10 problems." The teacher was agreeable to that plan. Communication with the teachers is imperative at this age.

I'm so with you regarding homework becoming an all-consuming chore in the evening. My son has organizational issues and also becomes distracted while doing homework. We have him do his homework at his desk in his room, and we check on him every five to ten minutes (we don't always verbally announce that we're checking on him, just peek in). My son has a tendency to ask for help immediately, without attempting to work on/solve the questions/problems. We've told him to try first before coming to us immediately. Also, if he gets stuck, we've told him to leave that question/problem and try moving on to the next, if possible.

It's a challenge when you have more than one child who needs your attention. My daughter, who needed little to any help with homework, still suffered, because my son, who's younger that she, demanded all the attention. What worked best for us was, my husband would help my son, and when my daughter needed attention, I'd tend to her.

You'll still need to work with your middle child to get him organized. Have him do his homework in a quiet area, and check on him occasionally to make sure he stays on track. Also, maybe you can have him work on the subject that is most challenging for him when he comes home from school, getting it out of the way first. Is there a chance you can rework your schedule a bit so your other two children don't miss out on activities?

Regarding joining the swim team, you'll want to impress upon both of them that once they join, their team will depend on them to be present at all practices and meets. So, if they don't finish their homework and chores according to your schedule, they may not participate in team activities, thereby letting their team(s) down.

It depends on what works for your children and family. Does their many activities get on the way of school work and family time.

I think a reasonable activities helps children learn the multitasking skills they may need in college and work.

Help your children make decisions on what is important to them and manage the allocated time based on what they and family need not what they want.

It seems the middle school child needs help. Focus on him for a week or two and see how that helps. His siblings can help remind him of his homework and why he has to do his work as scheduled.

My daughter reminds my son to do his chore so that they will not miss their bike ride and he listens to her than his mother or father.

All the best to you and your children!