What should the parent (I am mom) do when maternal granmother suddenly takes an OVERACTIVE interest

in children's school activities. My mom was not around much (she traveled ) when I was growing up. For the past ten years she has been a good grandmother, offering to keep them occasionally on the weekends, but now it is as if she is making up for not being a parent. She interferes to the point of causing a problem for my ex husband and me at school, embarrassing our kids. We have never given her any reason to doubt that we attend all functions yet last year as she was supposed to babysit during back to school night b/c no kids allowed, she showed up half an hour late with my kids she said she "was afraid we would not show up" she does this at school plays soccer games, she retreives them from the car pool line without telling me. The worst, yet. she has become the ally of my ex's new sigother (whom I like) but now she gets all the info on my kids and on me and I feel like it is such an invasion into my life Field day, anything she is there. How do I get her to back do

Parent Answers to "What should the parent (I am mom) do when maternal granmother suddenly takes an OVERACTIVE interest"

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Tell her like my daughter told me. If you don't back off you won't see your grandkids anymore. It worked for me! I was doing a lot to help her that she asked me to do but I got a little carried away. She came out and told me. It hurt my feelings but then I realized she was right and she is the parent. You have to speak up!

find out if she is having medical problems. this sometimes can be the root of the problem (TIME)
if not get with the ex- if possible and sit down with her and discuss what is on your mind. Say this is out of character and if anything is wrong.

If she has no reason to think that your ex and you do not attend school functions then I agree that she is out of line. She should not judge others by the mistakes she made...but it is possible, as you suspect, that she feels very guilty about it and wants to "see to it" that you don't make the same mistake. Since she missed so much of your school life maybe she is trying to get what she missed through your kids. She has to be told how it is making you feel and the problems and worry she is causing you. If she shows up for the games and plays could it be because she wants to enjoy the grandchildren's activities and be part of the family. Grandchildren are so special we grandmothers sometimes don't want to miss anything. But of course, that does not explain her picking them up without notifying you. Most of all I hope she will listen to your needs. Some time ago my youngest daughter and I learned to communcate by saying "I feel . I need . Will you please ". This really worked for us when we practiced it.
Good luck and hang in there. You only have one mother and it sounds like she's a keeper!

As many parents suggested , set up specific rules.These rules must be reminded to your mother often for her to fully appreciate them. For example, you have a meeting with your children's teacher on a particular date, let her know in the morning of the meeting and added that you do not want her in the meeting or school.

I guess she is a caring and loving mother/ grandmother, but there must be some boundaries for everyone. It will not only help both of you, but your children and their safety.

I think when members of the family are working together as unit, children and the school personnel are more likely to have a wonderful school year. In sport they often play better and win many games.

Best wishes to you, children,your mother!

My dad was kinda like that....and i put distance between them(there is more to that, but i do not wish to share), he told my child, he did not have to follow my rules, allowed my child to break MY rules....so, i move....but i could not talk to my dad, he was a VERY CONTROLLING MAN....hopefully you can talk to your mom, if not like they said fill out forms at school, and to double ensure, i would write a note to their homeroom teacher's....good luck .

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