if she is happy that is great. she probably could not play kick-ball with a skirt on and typically girls are more coordinated then boys at that age (or any age for that matter) and play great. She sounds like you might want to get her interested in a sport. (tennis,softball)
To many parents for some reason have there little girls not be able to get DIRTY,Muddy there is to much fun and imagination doing that. Let your kids experience as much as possible.

She's found her own sense of style, and that is a good thing. Don't sweat it... I was a tomboy until about 13... never cared much for dressing up fancy. Now I love it, but of course I had to grow into that feminine side on my own terms and in my own time. Don't sweat the small stuff. If she is doing well in school and has positive friends and a happy disposition, then she will be fine. She might want to dye her hair blue when she is a teen... no reason to freak out.

I think you're doing just fine, her happiness is certainly what matters, no other peoples' opinions. If she wants to dress like a boy, she should be able to, regardless of how she wants to define herself. If she ends up being a lesbian, I don't think it's a big deal at all, it's not really her choice if she is anyways, and all you can do is be supportive. A lot of people don't think about the possibility of her being gender-confused, not sexuality- confused. Many people aren't aware of children who feel like they're stuck in the wrong body, maybe that is your daughter, or 'son' if she so decides. My daughter introduced me to her first 'boyfriend' a few months ago (they're nolonger together) and she admitted to me that he was a transgender teen who preferred to go by male pronouns and name and would eventually do the surgery and all that.. As much as a shock as that was, she was happy with 'him', that was all I could ask for. Mainly, just let her live her life the way she'd like to; however it turns out, she'll always be your kid, and you just continue loving her regardless.

-S. Gray.

WHO CARES....she is smiling every day and happy and participates in her life.
Gay, straight, boy, girl, polka dot she is happy that is all that matters.
just love her and teach her to stand up for her style and accept others just as she would want to be accepted

NO ALL GIRLS GO THROUGH PHASES AND CHANGES. SHE IS JUST EXPRESSING HERSELF. IF SHE IS HAPPY AND NOT HURTING ANYONE LET HER ENJOY LIFE. SHE WILL MAKE A CHOICE AND IF SHE IS GAY AND YOU WELCOME HER DRESSING LIKE THAT WITH OPEN ARMS SHE WILL OPEN UP TO YOU. I DON'T THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE SHE IS DRESSING THAT WAY SHE IS GAY.

I think just because you are wondering if you are handling it right means you may feel that you are not. If that's the case, allow her to wear boy clothes only on certain days of the week and feminine clothes the other days. Get her involved, take her shopping, give her $10 gift cards to girl's stores. Maybe her unhappiness stemmed from other issues - maybe hormonal. My daughters get moody and emotional around their cycles and I have to monitor their diets. Make sure your daughter's diet is balanced with fruits, vegetables, and maybe some vitamins.

What you don't want to happen is for someone who is gay to mistakenly identify your daughter as gay and then want to have a relationship with her! You, your daughter, and your family may not be ready to handle any of that - and that sort of leaves your daughter unprotected. (Kids really are vulnerable). There was a case in the South where a lesbian teenager liked another female and when the female rejected her, she tried to kill herself by driving head-on into another car. Unfortunately, she lived but killed a wife and mother of 2 children.

She needs to wear what makes her confident and feel beautiful. That is not the same for every girl. My daughter is 7 and she is pure Tom Boy. Always wears baller shorts and t shirts, or jeans and Ts. I can count on one hand the number of times she has wanted to wear a dress. I don't think it is an indicator of sexual preference - my daughter is completely "Boy Crazy" in a 7 year old sense of the word, and I wish she wasn't, but it has nothing to do with her attire. Maybe someone she looks up to dresses that way, does she have older brother? If she is happy, you should be to. But make sure you do spend sometime doing something girlish with her. My daughter and I call it "Girlie Time" when we kick the boys out of the house and we paint toe nails or I let her comb and style my hair. Sometimes we just watch a chick flick (age appropriate of course) like cinderella story or freaky friday. Whatever works, just so she learns she can be proud and it is fun to be a girl and someday become a woman.

Don't read too much into it. My 5yo has been dressed as a boy for most of her short little lifetime. Mostly it was out of convenience for us (she has a brother 1 year older so she got most of his hand-me-downs) or necessity (even young girls skirts and clothes are being skewed toward sexy or revealing, which means catching a cold or worse bad attention). Now that she dresses herself, she always wants to wear dresses. I've gotten into several arguements with her over why she can't wear her Sunday dress and shoes outside to play in. As a father, I say, be happy she wants to wear boys clothes. As long as they are not tight or revealing, you have one less problem to worry about. I have a 15 year old who has to be 'encouraged' to wear clothes that are not tight, not revealing, not made for women who dance near poles. I would be grateful to wake up and see her choose to walk out of the house in a pair of pants and t-shirt that didn't scream how developed her body has become. Savor this time. Soon enough, puberty will hit and then it will be hair and it many variations of perms & colors, Makeup and the end all BOYS. If all you have to worry about now is that she prefers jeans to dresses, treasure each moment.

I always dressed in boys clothes as a kid, up through 6th grade. It's likely that by puberty your daughter will naturally become more feminine.

I am like you, is she happy? If so, then allow her to dress in clothes that make her feel comfortable. Ask for a compromise. If you want her to dress a little more like a girl for church or something, then say something like, "You can dress this way during the week, but on Sundays (or something special) I would like you dress in ...." whatever you pick. I found that when I asked my son to meet me half way, he was happier and I felt like I could help satisfy my sense of being the parent of wanting him to wear appropriate clothes to church (it's only for a little while). If things return to her being unhappy, then it might be necessary to seek out a counselor or therapist who specializes in children and adolescents. You can always meet with a therapist and stop when you feel you no longer need to have her see someone. You are doing good by being open with her and allowing her to express her feelings to you. You don't want her to shut down on you so I applaud you for noticing she was becoming unhappy. :)



Lindalee

From what you say, your daughter has enough common sense to know when her shoes do not match her skirt. I would be happy about that.

This said, come on. We are way past the time where a girl had to wear a dress and could not wear pants. What you describe here is not boys clothes, this is the uniform of most young people, boys and girls, around the world. The fact that it would make her gay is absolutely silly (whether you think being gay is wrong or not). When she will be older and will be interested in boys, she will find a way to look feminine in her own way, but if, at 8, the only thing that bothers you is that she does not like dresses, you should feel very very happy.

No if you don't mind your daughter being gay. If you do, then encourage her to be feminine. I know this is the age of anything goes but I prefer to support homosexuality if it's inherent not if it's a choice that has been encouraged and promoted by society. If you want a daughter and not a made lesbian, I would say, discourage her from wearing boys clothing. I declare, the very fact that you would have to ask this question and not know the answer yourself is indicative that this world has gone to hell in a hand-basket!

let the child wear what makes her happy for now. Is she happy or not? Isn't your relationship happier now? i even think sometime boys close last longer. they do not wear out as fast. If you see anything else different just talk to her and feel out the situtation. My oldest played basket ball even en college, and many think she looks like a model, I see her dress all different ways so my opinion would be let it go for a while and see her develop beautifully

Well...she seems happy.....that's great.

Perhaps just keeping an open dialouge about it will help her and she could change, she's still very young, anything is possible.

To me, being a support person, role model and positive for your children is the BIGGEST gift you can give them.

I believe that all children are finding themselves and we as parents should supports them. As parents we are the one person they should be able to look up to and be themselves and not criticize them. We should guide them away from things that are harmful to themselves or someone else. I do not believe that material things is something to be upset over they like what they like and we should not want to change them. We all have our own expectations of what we want our children to grow up as but that dose not always mean that it will happen as we want it to. We need to give them a little space to learn who they are and what they like. Who knows things change all the time with children one day it may be this but next year it will be something else. Even if she dose continue and she is Gay who really cares as long as she is happy isn't that what counts! You would love her just the same.

My daughter, whose 16, has been dressing in boys' clothing for quite some time. Part of it is a weight issue. Boys' jeans seem to fit her better. She likes the T-shirts the boys wear, and the shoes. She also pulls her short hair back in a ponytail. She doesn't wear any makeup, either. She's been mistaken for a boy many times, but it doesn't seem to bother her (bothers me more than her). However, just last year, she began to wear perfume. For some time, I thought my daughter may be gay. If so, I'll still love her and support her, no matter what.

Don't worry. Don't push. She'll find herself, just continue to be there for her, and accept her for who she is. Her happiness is what's important.

My older was much the same way....when she was 6, she thought boys clothes were "cooler" than girls clothes. She is 12 now, and for the last couple years is very much a "girly-girl" and can't believe she ever liked boys clothes...she is horrified by that notion while I sit back and laugh about those times.

Whether or not your daughter grows out of wearing boys clothes, there is nothing wrong with it. She is who she is and as long as she is happy with HERSLEF, that is all that matters.

I dont see anything wrong with it. If shes comfy in her cloths than go for it. I dont feel comfy in dresses either but I dont dress like a boy. Does she like girl shorts and girly T shirts?? They have comfy cloths that are more girly. But I wouldnt care at least she is HAPPY!!

BTW someone always has something to say about something so if it isnt her cloths it will be another thing. Dont sweat the small stuff

I, too, went through a phase around the same age. I actually really wanted to be a boy for while because, in my mind, boys had it easier. I don't know where I got that notion from but anyway, I was a complete tomboy until I turned 20 and then I decided to embrace my femininity. When I was around 14-16 I also used to wear men's boxers to sleep in and sometimes my girlfriends and I would wear them to the beach over our bathing suits.
If your daughter is happy that's what is the most important. It sounds like you have nothing to worry about and you're handling it superbly!

My neice is the same way... She is 8 and dresses in boy style clothes. She likes the shorts from Old Navy. Some are quite cute and colorful.
I think my neice likes to play with boys more than girls because she gets along better with them. She plays with my 2 sons perfectly and they always have a good time. I'm sure when she gets older you will see a change in her, so I wouldn't worry.

You are handling things perfectly. Don't second guess yourself or let anyone convince you you're not doing the right thing.

Your DD choices aren't hurting anybody and she is comfortable in her clothing style. There is way too much pressure out there on girls regarding what should be the Status Quo.

As for the possibility of her being lesbian, it's way too early to worry about it. Maybe she is and maybe she isn't. Either way, based on your actions, she will always know she is loved. That is what is most important. You have her best interests at heart. Make no apologies

You are handling things perfectly. Does it really matter if your DD is not dressing status quo? You have her best interests at heart and that is what is important. She's not hurting anyone by being comfortable. Things may turn around in a few years, but they may not. She may always prefer pants and tennis shoes and there's nothing wrong with that!

As for being a lesbian, it's way too early to worry about it. She is who she is,lesbian or straight. Your love and understanding of her individuality is what will always be most important for her well being. Don't second guess yourself.

A good friend of mine had a daughter who went through a phase around the same age as your daughter, where she insisted everyone call her "Luke" and she had her hair trimmed short, and would only wear her brother's clothes. (His name was not Luke, she just liked it.) The only time it caused trouble was in school in Kdg/1st grade when kids were told to "line up with boys on the left, girls on the right" because she always went to the boy's line. I really don't know how the teacher resolved those problems, but I will say that the girl is now a high school freshman, and very much a young woman, and her mom says she's now aspiring to become a fashion designer! You can never tell what the future holds.

Pushing her to wear "girly" clothes will just make her miserable. She is wanting to be an individual and she should feel comfortable about who she is. So it sounds like you are doing right by her. Honestly she is only eight years old and so at this point in her life it really doesn't matter if she is gay or not right now. I was very much a tomboy growing up. I hated wearing dresses (still don't like them much) and when I was maybe a little younger than your daughter I had my hair cut really short. I played with boy toy's and had mostly boy friends but I am not happily married for 10 years now to my hubby :) (we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary). So for now don't let these things bother you. Just let her be her and deal with whatever comes when she is older. I am willing to bet just from your post even is she later says she is gay you will still love her 100%. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful thing for your daughter :).

Don't worry about her, I am 35 and when I was around 10 I never wore "girly" clothes, just let her be herself and it may be a phase shes going through. Just always let her know shes loved whatever shes wearing.

You should love her no matter how she turns out, I have a story for you. My sisters DD looked like a little china doll when she was a toddler. We always bought her girly, girl stuff. When she Turned around six or seven she wanted nothing to do with girl stuff. Everybody tried to to per-sway her to wear them but she would just cry. So her mom gave in and let her have her boy clothes, It made her happy. She is now 13 very much a tomboy, and yes she is lesbian. We found out last year. We are hoping that it is a faze and she will change, but in the mean time we have to love her for who she is. When this happens to children they can't help it. It is just how they feel. Love your DD no matter what and be there for her because if she is in this way, she will run into some bumps in the road, and need your support. I asked my sister how she felt about it. She told me that she was numb and cried. She was like" what am I to do? I can't just throw her out, she is my daughter, and I love her. So momplustwins hang in there. She will always be your little girl no matter, even if she is straight or not. :)

I think you should let her be happy. When I was ten I started wearing exclusively guy clothing (except for underwear). I wore huge t-shirts from a sporting goods store and boys' khaki pants until I started high school. I grew out of it and am now EXTREMELY girly, but my stepsister still dresses this way. We are both quite happy, well-adjusted kids. I don't see any point in restricting your child to "girly" clothes - many women dress boyishly these days anyway!

My eldest daughter did the same thing. When she was in 6th grade, she asked for a short haircut... not a buzz, but it was still quite short. She dressed like a boy skateboarder for the whole year. Some folks did mistake her gender, which was really only an issue when she used the bathroom. I told her not to worry that there would come a day that even a short haircut would not hide her gender.

She is now 19 and is the girly girl type. She works at a fancy clothing store and also part time as a model.

My opinion is that if she's happy and doesn't mind any mixups by others, I wouldn't worry.