I think she will eventually adjust. Let her stay in touch with her old friends but she will make new ones in no time at all. Children are resilient. Parents are the ones who suffer! Academics are very important. She may even thank you in the end.

Thanks Healthy11 and Tricialrose! It helps to have some reassurances....I have been a mom for almost 8 years now and I still fell like I have no clue sometimes!!!

It may not have a negative effect on your second grader. You are right to be concern, but all will depend on how you and your family handle the situation.

How old is your daughter? I guess she is not a teen. Try to help your child with your reaction toward the new school and what is important to you and your daughter, a good education. Give her a choice of visiting her former classmates when she has a chance/ during the schools' holidays.
I think friends for a second grader is available anytime, but a good education has a time limit. I wish you and your daughter all the best.

My daughter is 7, (her bday is in Nov. so she started school "late") and I think that maybe that could be part of the problem, they have been giving her work meant for the next grade level in Kinder and in 1st, but it does not count for anything, it is basically to keep her busy, and she helps the teachers with the other students, but I have asked if shou could tested for GT but the school district hasn't done this yet. (her teachers also requested her to be tested.) Hence the reason I want to change school districts. My child is not a child prodigy, but she is very smart and eager to learn I just feel like the current school didtrict is holding her back, but like I said I am worried about her emotionally. I am probably being 'over concerned' but I can not help it, she is my only child and I want the best education she can get.

Kids are generally resilient (even though it might not seem so when faced with a new situation). Let your child know that you understand her fears but reassure her that she'll be able to both keep in touch with her old friends and make new friends. We've got an article on our Web site that might help, too.

10 Tips for Adjusting to a New School
www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/60

My daughter changed schools in mid-year but stayed within the school district. She cried and begged to stay also. She cried the first day I took her to her new classroom and she was in the 3rd Grade. All that aside, I must tell you she excelled in her new setting. Her grades improved tremendously and she made new friends. 7th Grade starts a new school in our district - the Middle School. She is just finishing the 7th Grade in the Middle School and will be attending the 8th Grade in September. She was reunited this past year with all her old school chums from both schools. I must say she is doing very well in the Middle School ending Grade 7 with an 89.3 average. Think positive. It was a hard choice for me to make 4 years ago but I am happy that I did.

Why would you send your daughter to a different school district than her local one? Yes, the emotional toll will hurt your daughter! Why not be more involved in her local school as a "Parent Volunteer" or teacher's assistant and "improve" the morale, integrity and overall ambiance of her current school!

I have travelled the world..My daugher has been in public, private and charter schools. She has remained in the same school district since 7th grade..despite that she was "shot" along with another classmate in 8th-grade by a turbo-pellet gun in Spring 2005..then, transferred for "safety" to local charter school until matter was resolved. The shooting incident was a "wake up" call to the school district and that particular Middle School. My daugher bravely handled the entire situation and all the drama that went with it..Please know that I was "shaken to the core" and feared for ALL students safety at that time..BUT, the lesson learned here is that parents, administrators and school district officials MUST be activiely involved with their students and view "realities" as they are and NOT as they "think they are"..in order to improve, change and adjust accordingly. (Note: My daughter and her classmate were not at fault nor incited that shooting incident nor were they seriously injured physically. It could have been MUCH worse, but the school officials and community reacted swiftly and positively to this incident with my daughter "keeping cool head" and following procedures to alert staff/administration.)
She will be a honors Senior at the same school district this coming Fall and planning to attend college via military ROTC or academy.

You as a parent can remember what it is like to move around a lot. 2nd-graders are very sensitive to learning..and "in touch" with feelings from others and their families. So, IF your daugher is not in imminent danger or unreasonable treatment from her schoolmates/teachers/location, then why not allow her to continue at her grade school? Pre-school through Grade 8 sets the study habits, learning potentials and overall social skills for life! Doing something because "you think that a different school will give her better challenges" is not necessarily the best answer. It might be best to examine your own "fears" or "concerns" on the broad spectrum of things now and for the future as well as listen to your child and her local school representatives. Okay?

A grateful parent -

rjernst-
I am wondering if you read my second post or just the origianl question. The current school district's answer to "challenging students" is to give them work for grades above the one they are in, and it counts for nothing. I have requested my daughter be tested for GT and so has both her Kinder and 1st grade teachers, yet the school district has done nothing, I know for a FACT that the district I want to transfer her to has a better and more challenging curriculum. As for volunteering at the school, I do. The moral, integrity and ambiance is something else altogether, something I will not gointo on a public board. She loves school, and has straight A's and perfect attendance, but she deserves to get the best education she can. And as far as my own concerns, I only want the best for her. OKAY.

Why are you moving her? Is she having problems developing social skills? If not, she should be able to excel in any school.

no she has no problems socially, has many friends and helps out in the class with the other students. The current district is not willing to do more than the bare minimum academically, like I have said, no she is not a prodigy child, but she is very intellegent and eager to learn new things everyday.

jgirlmom, I know I commented earlier in this discussion, but I also want to share some of my background. I was a child, like yours, who excelled in school. After 3 1/2 years of getting "#1 student awards" the school let me skip a grade...It would have been much easier socially if done earlier, instead of 4th grade.

My feeling is that every child has a right to learn, not just "coast along." Having to work harder at something and persevere teaches valuable life lessons, too. (sjimmerson, the goal isn't just to be the top of the class.) As it happened, I still "rose to near the top" of the next grade, too, but even if your child doesn't, it's good to be with more like-minded peers. I think your daughter will be fine.

We moved our oldest daughter to a different school for second grade. She cried too, but it was the BEST decision we could have made. Her new school is so much better academically, and she made new friends easily. Everyone has told me it is easier to move a child at this age than in middle or high school. I agree that we should try to get involved in our communities and schools to make improvements, but not at the expense of our children. Your daughter only gets one shot at second grade. If your gut keeps telling you to move her, do it! In the end, it could make all the difference. Elementary school lays the groundwork for the future.

I know from experience that it can be a life changing decision. I know that moving while in the 3rd grade was extremely traumatic for me when I was a kid and I didn't start liking school again for many many years. It depends upon the person, which is very hard to judge. From reading other posts, some individuals can adapt well but remember we are talking about young children here. I would not do that to my kids unless it was a last resort.

Take your daughter to the school that she will be going to next school year and have her meet her new teacher the day before school starts and ask the teacher to have one of her students to show your daughter around the school! Your daughter will make new friends at her new school! Just don't move her to a new school in the middle of the school year becasue it would make her feel uncomfortable since she would be the new kid there! Good luck!

I think that you would be giving your dd a gift by providing her with a greater challenge academically. Being young and social will make this an easier transition.
We chg'd schools for our dd going into second gr. I wrote a letter to her teacher to share some background info. We also went to meet her teacher the week prior to the first day of school. It was a great help to see her classroom, talk with the teacher, play on the playground. It was a much bigger school and a bit overwhelming, but that concern passed quickly for her. It was a positive move and she was glad to make the change.
I think it has a lot to do with the spin you put in it.
Positive talk creates positive expectation.
She met old friends from preschool, dance class, swim team and made a ton of new friends. She still stays in touch with her "old" friends from K&1st.

While you mentioned that you are "concerned that she will not perform as well as she can". It sounds like the current school situation is unable to give her the chance to perform her best...
follow your heart. Good Luck.

I can relate and I think that it would give her a chance to make new friends and succeed academicaly. Also it will give her even more reason to behave well, so that she may see her friends during special times.

I too am concerned about relocating and changing schools, does anyone have any suggestions for relocating to ct? Primarly in Ashford, Chaplin, Coventry, Mansfield, Willington areas?

all children get nervous going to a new school. she will tell you if she does not like her new school or anything is a problem. you can always swich her too

At first, she will be upset but later she will be ok. My daughter moved to a new school when she was in the 2nd grade. She was upset and shy for the first two days, but later she was ok. She made friends and she was happy.
So just give it time and she will be ok. But you need to be there for her until she gets aquainted with the school. Like taking her to school every day, go with her to her classroom, get to know her teacher, and her classmate.
Good luck.

I don't think she will having any lasting scars from a school change as a second grader. Kids are resilient and she is at an age where it is easy to make friends. Maybe you can find some other parents in the district to set up a play date. Find out if the school has any back to school functions that you can attend with her and meet as many people as you can. If you can place your daughter in a school with more challenging academics and she is not being challenged at the current school, then it probably does out weigh a month of getting used to the new school. A well adjusted second grader will probably be used to the change before the end of a week. Its the later years that those changes seem to cause the most stress. You are most likely doing what is best for her in the long run.

Not to repeat what everyone else has probably said...her feelings now are temporary...and you can't really expect her to fully understand your decision until she's older.
We have made a move and all new schools even new state 3 years ago so I understand what you are going through but the move for us was a need and we have our childrens best interest at heart.
Again, she's not going to understand that just now - the real benefit, give her a couple weeks in school and perhaps invite over a few kids she met so she can bond with them and I am sure she'll do just fine.
Kids are MUCH more resilient then I think we give them credit for, plus a change like this is a good life lesson for everyone.

Your daughter may have some emotional adjusting to do at first, but as she makes friends and settles in, she will feel more a part of her new surroundings. Parents are to make the decisions on where children go to school, they're the parents. Change is a part of life all your life, don't let a 6 year old make adult decisions. I went to many schools growing up in many different states due to my dad's job. I understood that it was my parents who made the decisions on where I was going to school, and it was my job to show up and do my best.

Hi
I can understand both sides of this dilemma! I was also a child that moved all around in school right up to high school. I guess the question you have to ask yourself is the same one that you asked for this blog, will it benefit her or hurt her? Another question is how much is she not being challenged?? Another question is do you plan on moving from where you are?? I mean do you rent or own??
Also social relationships are just as important as academic opportunities, especially at this young age. These are the two areas that are developing the fastest, their like a sponge in water, a child's mind is just grabbing everything.
I really don't want to sway you on this one way or the other, only you know what is best for your child.
But my advice would be find out why she is so upset, I suspect it is a friend thing. You and I know that friends come and go, but in 2nd grade they mean everything. I have 2 daughters myself and I don't give this advice lightly. I have asked myself if it were one of my girls what would I do?? And if this is driving her to tears and this is a "choice" and not a "have to" situation I would say let her stay in her at her home school, the academics will fall into line later. I don't want you to think that I put a lax in education, I believe in pushing them forward and doing the best they can, don't except anything less.
And please this is only advice, only you can make this kind of decision. I hope I have helped.
Thanks Jodi

I don't know if your daughter will negatively impacted. It is something that you will have to figure out on your own. We did something far more drastic, I moved our family, now 4th grade daughter and now 1st grade son, from Japan to the US. They were born in Japan (as was my wife) we moved to the US (I was born in the US) last year, so they have both completed 1 full year and starting their second year. So, they had one more situation where they spoke little English (that was totally my fault - I became fluent in Japanese so that is what I had used at home instead of English like I should have). The teachers and principal wanted to put my daughter in the 2nd grade, but her age made it right for 3rd grade. A bit of a fight to keep her in 3rd last year until I hinted at "no child left behind" and they backed down. In about 6 months into last year, my daughter moved from a low 1st grade reading/no writing/no speaking to low 3rd grade reading/writing/speaking. By the end of the school year she was level with her classmates. Now that she speaks English fluently, she has many new friends and still is in contact with her friends in Japan. She is now fully bilingual and has little problem switching. But she has a "never give up" attitude. Surprisingly, my son who was in Kindergarten had a bit harder time, I thought that since he had only been to nursery school that he would adapt quicker than my daughter.

The problem that I did not see is that he had a hard time expressing himself in either language, whereas my daughter could at least speak to us in Japanese to express herself. After starting 1st grade last week, he is now fine. So even in the same situation, children react differently and my son took a year whereas my daughter got used to the US in half a year.

Thus the negative impact is extremely hard to gauge. Since your daughter is going to be in 2nd grade, she might have a hard time expressing herself and you have to watch really closely. I think she is just starting to get her bearings (emotionally) about her 1st grade school and the unknown and not knowing anyone in the new school is very scary. She could just as easily enjoy the new school more, but not the first day, maybe not even the first month. You need to connect with other parents quickly, so that everything is comfortable outside of school.

I moved back to my old neighborhood and was an Eagle scout so I already had that familiar setting my friends are also parents (I was gone for 20 years - but visited more than 20 times). So, throughout the year, new friends and for me old family friends give many sources of exposure to see that it probably isn't so different after all and we changed cultural settings. You also don't need to let her know about your issues of moving around as a child. You are her rock right now and you cannot appear weak. If you go through "I understand because that's what I went through", you will not give a good strong base to stand on. In later years you can open that, but not right now. My wife had to change cultures too and leave friends and family behind, my family is here and I had to leave some friends behind, but I have friends here already. My wife did not let the children know her problems, I took the brunt of it and that at least makes us be the rocks in our children's' lives. Now everything is fine, and much more relaxed.

Jodi thanks for the advice, we have recently visited the new school and walked the halls...so to say. She says she likes the school, and she even saw 2 of her friends from the old one! YEAH!!! (makes it a little easier). The school year begins in 3 weeks and I think she is excited, I asked her if she was still upset about switching schools and she told me that she will miss her teachers and friends but I believe she will be ok. Thanks again.
---Karen

She should be fine. My daughter changed schools in the 3rd grade, fourth marking period, and she did wonderfully! She cried and cried not to change schools but I knew it was to her benefit to change. On the first day I walked her to her classroom with the Principal. When it was time for me to leave, she started crying. I had to walk away. I cried all the way to work. I sent an e-mail to her teacher as soon as I got to work. The teacher said she had one of the girls go to the girls' room so my daughter could wash her face. When she came back into the class she had calmed down. By the time she got home from school she loved the teacher and the kids in the class. She did wonderfully!