I have a new one my husband just told me.

My sons Adam and Adrian are identical twin boys. Adrian was born with Amniotic Band Syndrome (a form of amputation) on his right hand from birth. No digits and a partial thumb. As they both get older, they are getting more questions from their peers in school and around the neighborhood about Adrian's hand. So as the story goes, Adam was approached by several students the other day (4th and 5th graders) and was asked what was wrong with his brother, Adrian's, hand. Adam must have been tired of answering with the same "he was born that way" and switched to "I got really hungry before we were born". Gotta love that twinship going on there!

*laughing*

Once I was babysitting our nieghbors, while there parents had an evening out, and the little boy needed to go pee. When he got up I needed to help him lift his pants up ,and flush, and when I pulled him pants up and flushed the toilet he didn't move. I said "Whats the matter?" and he said "That's not right." He lifted his pants and his penis was lifted up. He said "You must begin all over now. Don't worry you'll get it right."

The other day my 4 year old was playing with a baton when she stuck it in a rainbow colored boot and held it and said, "Look,I caught a rainbow trout." Then she picked up here Dads shoe and said,"Whoa, I got a big one this time, its a keeper."

That's Great Imagination.

One of my 2 y.o twin boys was complaining, and I told him "stop crying it is o.k" and he looks at me says very seriously and replies " I am not crying, I am whining!" he follows this up a couple days later when I tell him that he's not a baby anymore, that he's two and he's a little boy, and again very seriously he says " I am not a little boy, I am a toddler!" He slays me!

That's Wonderful and cleverish sons!
May be the officer don't feelling: How's love?
And Realy and Turely answer too!

When my boys were 6, twin B had to get an xray done. The technician although male, had some really feminine ways.

Twin B looks at him and says (as if hes been giving this a lot of thought) ... "thats it...you remind me of..."

And Twin A without missing a beat says "that gay dude off of Will and Grace!"

Twin B chimes in "Jack...thats it...hes funny!"

I almost DIED!!! I apologized vehemetly and he said thats ok...atleast you teach your kids tolerance. Sometimes I wish they werent so "in synch" with each other!

So! nice question

My daughter asked me 2 years ago when she was 3. "Where did you buy me, Dada"

My side still hurts!!!

Oh my goodness! How funny!

he was 3 at this time

That was the funniest story I've read in about a month.

My 3 yr old daughter (age at that time) love to watch the movie "Matilda". In the movie there is a song for the soundtrack wherein the chorus line is "On the way". As in, matilda is on her way to bigger and better things. Anyways, my daughter has watched the movie about a thousand times and can sing most of the movie by heart. One day she pulls me aside after watching the movie and asks me:

"How come the people are always singing about UNDERWEAR (instead of ON THE WAY) in the movie?"

I laughed for a week on that one.

My 4yr daughter saw a can of jalapenos in the supermarket with a woman's face on the front (with chopped jalapenos in the background). She gets the can and very seriously asks me:

"Why is this woman swimming in the jalapenos?"

Dear Cuddle2heart

Yes,So! cutiest thing!
Why's not ask him,How's about of he thinking at that's time?
So! Wonderful the answer

one of the funniest things i ever heard my son say was oh man!every time someone dropped something,he would just look up at them and say oh man.i thought it was the cutiest thing

my daughter was born with some problems and had to recieve a cat scan, my son said...why do we have to take her to the hospital for that, we have a cat.

For 12 years ago,The ones best of my memo.
When I'm withdraw my money from ATM machine,
My 1st. Son say: How's a Superwoman like you,Mom? You're So! So! So!My Hero!
Then,People! All of around there(enroll for ATM Machine)Smiling and lauging,
That's Smile, I can't forget it forever!
Suranya

I remember when I was small I was in the kitchen watching my mother fry chicken.
I was about 6 years old. My mother expelled gas and I looked up and asked "what was that?" And my mother says... "it was a frog" I said lifting up her dress
"let me see it!"

"Stop calling me 'Babe!' You insult me, Lydia!" says Angela to her little sister. Lydia says "I know you're not a pig but I like the pig's name - 'Babe'!"

My daughter was in potty training stage and we were sitting down talking about the importance of telling the truth...I think we may have been reading the Bible Story of Adam and Eve. She was watching me very closely and very attentively as I spoke each work remarking how the truth will set you free. Shortly afterwards, I went into the kitchen and I heard her calling me from the bathroom. I went to her and found her standing there with quite the puddle around her little feet. I asked, "Tia, did you wet yourself?" She answered, "Yes. Am I free?"

After my son was born I was changing him when my 4 year old daughter said that it looked like he had a pigtail. I thought it was so funny the way she said it she was dead serious.

When my son was in 1st grade he was learning compound words. The teacher asked for an example of a compound word and he thought for a moment. Then he said: "Goat." The teacher was puzzled. He explained: " Go and at make goat."

My son had to use the bathroom really bad and his little sister has in the bath tub. My kids were talking and I heard my son say You don't have a FROG, how do you go PEE. I about died...She said I just do, then he comes out and said Dad, she doesn't have a FROG, how does she go PEE and my husband goes, go ask your MOM

I was so excited about having identical twin boys and scared I would get them mixed up and have them develop a complex if I called them by the wrong name. So I color coded them, one blue, one red. I felt pretty proud of myself for coming up with that solution but didn't anticipate their speech and language challenges for this one incident.

One day - they must have been playing tug-of-war over a toy. One twin approached me, crying, and while rubbing his arm - said "MOM!! The BLUE ONE hit me!".

Oh boy, so much for the twin individuality theory.

When my twin boys were in the begining stage of potty training, I went out and bought them their favorite "hero" briefs I and explained to them "It wouldn't be very nice to poop or pee on your hero (Spiderman and Power Ranger), so please make sure you go in the potty instead, okay?" - Both the boys nodded ethusiastically and couldn't wait to get their hero's on.

Next day - One of my boys was in the hallway, sobbing and whimpering. When I came near him to ask what was wrong, I immediately smelled the foul odor of a possible accident, but didn't want to assume. It could have been flatulence. Trying to be as calm and understanding as I possibly could, I bent down and asked him softly, "Did you poop your pants, honey?" He replied, "No, mom - Spiderman pooped on ME this time!" ......That one was for the books.

My 8 year old daughter is a bit of a tom-boy. She has female friends and has done the sleep-over thing with them, but she loves sports - particularly baseball. A boy her age in the neighborhood plays little league and has been very good about teaching her to play. One day, she announced that she wanted him to sleep over. With full parental consent on all sides, this was done at our house. As they brushed their teeth, the little boy asks my daugher if this is her first sleepover, to which she said "no." He asked in complete innocence, "yeah, but is this your first time with a boy?" Holding back our laughter and forcing our composure, my wife and I got them off to bed. We laughed later. As a father, though, I never expected to be present to hear those words!

One day at church my son looks up at his sister and at the most quiet time of the mass looked up and said, "you have a buger" The entire church could hear.

My son was out fishing on a boat with his dad and the motor would not restart after sitting for awhile. My son said, "so what your telling me is my worst nightmare is coming true"

Just this passed Wednesday at Church all the children were listening to their teacher and she was discussing how in Bible times how they would go about taxing people and such and one little girl piped up and asked innocently enough. How come they didn't use their debt cards? LOL.

When I was teacher I once walked to the back of the room where some kids were talking and one saw me coming and quietly said "rollers" to warn the others.

When I was a teacher, I helped supervise a high school writing/computer lab. The students (especially the seniors) constantly pushed the boundaries on the rules -- the "no music in the writing lab" rule in particular. One day a group of three or four seniors were huddled around a corner computer, and I started to hear rap music quietly coming from their station. After asking them to turn it off, one student protested --

"What?! Don't you like Fitty!?"

-- as though I had seriously offended him and his taste in 50 Cent's music by asking him to follow the rules.

This happened on the bus the other day: a little girl (maybe 5?) turns to the older woman sitting next to her and asks "what color is your hair?" The woman replies "blond." And the little girl says, "no it's not! I see brown roots!"

On seeing a dog without a tail, my 4-year old daughter asked, "Daddy, how does it get happy?"

The funniest thing I heard was my daughter's response to a history question in class. The teacher asked her what the seal was on the State Of Michigan flag and her response was "the flipper".

Some friends who are allergic, found that they could tolerate a cockapoo. I think it's the poodle hair that's the key.

there is a breed of hairless rat terriers

My son always has funnies.....we write them down so we don't forget. The most recent was when we thought about adopting a dog, long story short we are allergic and decided it would not work out. I told my kids and they were crushed. My daughter was crying and said how about a hairless cat? We said no. My son said How about a bald eagle? We all started laughing and could not stop. I know it is not that funny in writing but we laughed.

When my twins were pre-schoolers they loved to wear frilly dresses. For everything. I'd buy them used party dresses for a few bucks each. They'd wear them to play out in the yard. One day we went out to see twin A hanging upside down on the swingset, completely nude except for her dress which was hanging down over her face.

I said "Where is your underwear?"

She said "I didn't want anyone to see my underpants!"

A great example of listening but missing the point.

The District Assistant Supervisor of Special Ed was my son's ODR (person designated in charge of IEP meeting) for his IEP meetings, she asked my son the same ridiculous question at every meeting and he gave the same answer each time, I guess he was just having one of those days and decided to mess with her when she asked him the question.

The Assistant Special Ed Supervisor asked in a very serious manner:

"What are your plans after high school?"

At this IEP meeting my son replied differently then all the times before and replied;

"I watched Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo last night, and decided that is the vocation I wish to seek."

Then he said " Mr. (no-name), my school counselor never mentioned this option to me."

I almost fell out of my chair with laughing; even the rigid Assistant Supervisor cracked a smile.

Apparently she got the point, because I don't recall her asking him this question again, I think he embarrassed her in front of the other IEP team members who worked under her.

My 41/2 year old daughter asked me what I was doing one day and I told her that I was "Chillin like a villan". She asked me what a villan was and I told her it was like a bad guy.
A couple days later my wife called out to my daughter and asked her what she was doing and my daughter responded "Chillin like a bad guy"

What are they teaching your child at school?!? :)

The funniest thing that my 14 yr old told me yesterday was! he told his best friend that his step sister is having a baby and his cousin is also having a baby too! Than he came home and told me that after he had told his friend this! His friend goes up to my son and says! Is it matting season in your family? My husband and i got such a kick out of that! When our son told us this when he came home!

When my younger dd was about 4, we got 2 male cats from the animal shelter. My sister came over and my dd was telling her how "they were fixed" and asked how they were broken?

I pretended that I didn't hear the question:-

when my daughter was 6 she came up to me and said mommy I want to be a Lesbian when I grow up. Imagine my surprise!