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Parent Answers to "What would you do if you caught your teen drinking?"
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As a child under the age of 10, my son has been submerged in hearing about my former job and my husband's job. My husband is a DUI officer and has been for more than 13 years. Shane hears practically every day something about what happened the night before when Dad arrested this or that person for DUI, how badly intoxicated that person was, and what happened to get him/her caught. I hope this information will continue to do it's job and encourage him to stay away from Drinking and there is a better chance as it is a big part of his life. There is a chance, though that he will turn into a bad decision factory when puberty hits and I already have a plan if that happens. My husband works extra duty as security at the court house during what's called Victim Impact Panels (VIP). Defendants are sent to these by judges after being convicted of DUI. This "panel" consists of victims of DUIs whether it be a mother of a child who got killed or whatever hapened. Each person gets up and tells their story and. trust me, by the end of the night it's a Kleenex fest. It doesn't matter how tough you are, I have NEVER seen a dry eye in the place by the end of the night. See if there is a similar program in your area courthouse. You can also contact MADD or RID (remove Intoxicated Drivers) they may be able to help you in this area as well. If it can be worked out that the child can make up their own mind and decide that drinking isn't what THEY want, you're going to fare better...cause what does a teen want? They want freedom to make their own decisions and they want more control over their own lives. There is a way to do this and still have hold of the reins. Good luck.
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I personally am not a fan of the "let them drink at home" idea. For teens, this can only send mixed messages. If it's ok to drink around my folks, then why isn't it ok to drink away from my folks. I mean, would we do this with cigarettes? For teens who think that there's nothing to do but drink, or think weekends are boring without drinking I do agree with the rest of what you said: They need to find new friends.
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I think you should encourage your child to read about alcohol and its effects. You should also consider allowing them to have a drink with you at your home as long as they know it's not whenever they want and that there are limits. I agree with lalala123 whole-heartedly in that you need to ensure an open relationship free of extreme disciplinary reaction to this kind of thing. They need to know their boundaries and all, but if you go off the handle, they'll never let you be a part of their life. Now, if they're 13, then a lot of it depends on how much they were drinking. A bit of a taste and trying it is one thing, but if they were drinking heavily with friends, then there is a serious problem - Possibly with who they spend their time around.
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teens are teens, and it seems like majority will drink, or at least try some sort of alcohol, an most probally would never find out. If you try and control your kids so much, when or if they do try anything, they wont tell you. you need to have an honest relationship with them, so they know that you would be upset, but wouldnt go on total lockdown. look at it this way, how would you feel if your kid was at a party where they where drinking, an instead of calling you to ask for a ride home, because they thought you would punish them, they got into a car, with someone else who had been drinking, and they got in a car crash.
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The problem with telling them that its easy for this stuff to be spread all over the internet...some kids might be looking for that kind of attention and it will only encourage them more. I have wondered many times myself how i am going to deal with this issue when it comes up with my daughter. Talking / Trust are important for a good relationship and for every kid / situation it is different.
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